Taking that next step in your relationship is exciting, but before popping the question, it’s important to be sure you’re truly ready to commit. Nobody can predict the future and tell you for certain whether getting engaged is a good idea. However, using her knowledge and expertise, relationship counsellor Dhriti Bhavsar, has created this ‘am I ready to get engaged?’ quiz to help guide you.

Through these 10 questions, you will assess how strong the pillars of your relationship are and whether they can handle the weight of a commitment as big as marriage. You’ll evaluate your conflict resolution, financial stability, emotional connection, and so much more.

Related Quiz: Am I ready for marriage ? Quiz

Take your time and answer honestly. There is no correct answer. The goal is to understand your own feelings and ensure you’re making the best decision for your future happiness.

Questions

1.How long have you been in your current relationship?

1. Less than a year
2. 1-2 years
3. Over 2 years

2. How well do you communicate with your partner about important topics such as finances, future goals, and family?

1. Very well
2. Fairly well
3. Poorly

3. Have you discussed your long-term goals and visions for the future with your partner?

1. Yes
2. Yes, but not in detail
3. No

4. How well do you handle conflicts and disagreements with your partner?

4. Very well
5. Fairly well
6. Poorly

Related Quiz: Am I ready to date ? Quiz

5. Are you financially stable and have a plan for your financial future?

1. Yes
2. I’m working towards it
3. No

6. How do you feel about the idea of marriage and lifelong commitment?

1. I’m excited
2. I have some concerns
3. I’m unsure

7.  Have you discussed your expectations and values regarding marriage with your partner?

1. Yes
2. Not in detail
3. No

8. How well do you know your partner’s family and vice versa?

1. Very well
2. Somewhat
3. Not at all

9.  Do you feel emotionally and mentally prepared to take on the responsibilities of marriage?

1. Yes
2. Somewhat
3. No

10. How do you envision your future with your partner?

1. I see a happy and fulfilling future
2. I’m unsure
3. I don’t see a future

I was once in a situationship, long before Gen-Zers had a term for it. It was the most exhilarating and also the most emotionally draining romantic experience of my life. While I loved the idea of coloring outside the lines of a typical relationship, things got messy once feelings got thrown into the mix and we were no longer on the same page about the purpose of our arrangement. In the process, I lost a good friend. So, trust me when I say situationship rules matter.

If you find yourself in a similar state and are not clear about what to do in a situationship, find yourself caught up in the situationship vs relationship dilemma, or are unsure about how to define a situationship you have going on with someone, I’ve got you covered.

In consultations with relationship expert and counselor Dhriti Bhavsar (Master’s in Clinical Psychology), who specializes in relationship, breakup, and LGBTQ counseling, I’ll touch upon all there is to know about a situationship and setting some ground rules to navigate it without getting hurt. Let’s begin by understanding what is a situationship all about.

What Is A Situationship?

So, what is a situationship? If you turn to the dictionary to define situationship, here’s what you’ll find: “a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established”. Now, what does not “formal” or “established” mean? In simpler terms, a situationship means a casual and fluid romantic and/or sexual relationship between two people, with no commitment or expectations.

To define situationship, Dhriti says, “An absence of labels and conversations about the future are the tell-tale markers of a situationship.” Along similar lines, a Reddit user says, “When you end up consistently seeing someone like they are your significant other but are noncommittal and refuse to take the leap to solidify an actual relationship.”

Related Reading: Situationship – Meaning And 10 Signs You Are In One

Now, on a surface level, a situationship may seem a lot like any other casual, undefined intimate connection like a no-strings-attached relationship or a friends-with-benefits arrangement. However, there is a distinct difference. In other undefined connections like NSA or FwB relationships, there is clarity on terms of engagement. In a situationship, things tend to get more muddled. That’s why situationship vs relationship dilemma is far too common. If you’re in such an undefined intimate connection, the first order of business to navigate it successfully is to identify if it amounts to a situationship.

How do you know if you are in a situationship

Since a situationship can closely resemble so many other forms of casual relationships, it is imperative to know for sure if you’ve landed yourself in one. As Dhriti says, “Not knowing what to expect from a relationship or what is acceptable and what’s not can be a dangerous and confusing place to be in.” So, how do you know if you are in a situationship? Here are some clear signs to watch out for:

• You behave like romantic partners but there has been no define-the-relationship conversation
• You have both agreed to keep things casual
• You don’t make long-term plans involving each other. Your plans focus on the next meetup, next hookup, or at best, what you’d be doing a couple of weeks later
• Either one or both of you are hooking up with or dating other people
• You aren’t integrated into each other’s lives — for example, you haven’t met each other’s family or friends
• Sex is likely the centric part of your relationship
• There is no consistency in your communication patterns — you may text back and forth for days, spend weekends together, and then go without any contact for days
• You may talk to each other with ease about a lot of topics, but steer clear of deep, meaningful conversations about emotions, vulnerabilities, and of course, the future
• There is little to no emotional intimacy in the relationship
• You haven’t made any promises to each other
• You don’t expect your situationship partner to show up for you in your time of need and they feel no obligation to do so — and vice versa
• Your conversations are carefully crafted so as not to “ruin” what you have
• Even if you have been together a significant amount of time — in my case, for instance, the situationship last eight months — you haven’t crossed any relationship milestones
• The thought of “where is this going” makes you feel anxious and uneasy

Related Reading: 9 Types Of Situationships And Their Signs

15 Non-Negotiable Situationship Rules – Follow These To Protect Yourself

As may be clear from these indicators of a situationship, a connection of this sort comes with a lot of gray areas. To be able to navigate these muddied waters, you need some situationship rules to protect yourself emotionally. Take it from me, I didn’t think much of rules and boundaries, and chose to just go with the flow — as is the wont of 20-somethings who think they can conquer the worlds — and ended up falling in love with my situationship partner. He, on the other hand, was nowhere close to being emotionally invested.

My feelings led me to go along with a lot of things I wasn’t comfortable with, say yes when I wanted to say no, and put up with being treated in ways that left me hurt because I was holding on to hope that if I just gave it time, he’d begin to feel the same way about me. That obviously didn’t happen but I ended up in a broken heart. Apparently, my experience isn’t isolated.

Related Reading: 11 Situationship Red Flags You Should Know About

If scores of Reddit threads on situationships are any indicator, in this casual, dynamic, undefined “relationship”, one person always catches feelings and gets hurt in the process. As this Reddit user says, “A situationship is the least “casual” of casual relationships, you basically get all the perks of a relationship which includes going on dates, sleeping together, enjoying each other’s company, staying over at the other’s but without the titles of boyfriend/girlfriend, or expectation it will turn into a proper committed relationship where you end up saying you love each other and build a future together. I don’t recommend ever getting into one, someone is always more invested in one person than the other, just ends in heartbreak and confusion.”

That’s why my situationship advice to you would be to always focus on and prioritize yourself. Here are 15 situationship rules that will help you do just that:

1. Keep it fun and light

What is a situationship if not a casual relationship with no labels and obligations? As Dhriti says, “In a situationship, any conversations about the future are off limits. The focus is on the here and now.” So, if the focus is not the here and now, why not make the most of it? Keep things light and playful, enjoy the present, and don’t get invested in the idea of a shared future.

Related Reading: The Complete Guide To “We Act Like A Couple But We Are Not Official” Situation

2. Be in touch with your feelings

Weighing in the situationship vs relationship difference, a Reddit user says, “You date each other like you’re in a relationship, but you’re not exclusive. Most of the time, it ends badly because one person will always want more than the other one.” If there is one recurring theme that you may have noticed so far, it’s that there is a very real chance of catching feelings even if you’re unofficially dating.

So, it’s important to check in with yourself from time to time and assess how you feel toward the person you’re in a situationship with. If you do find yourself catching feelings or falling head over heels in love, it’s time to figure out how to get out of a situationship. Don’t stick around, hoping, and wondering, “Can a situationship turn into a relationship?” More often than not, it does not.

3. Prioritize yourself

Wondering what to do in a situationship to protect yourself and avoid getting hurt? Make a conscious effort to focus on and prioritize yourself in this connection. Identify why got into a situationship,

• Was it for sex?
• Or to enjoy the perks of a casual relationship minus the baggage of expectations and commitment?
• Was it because you don’t have time for a more committed relationship?

Not losing focus on your needs will help you prioritize them over that of your partner as well as the relationship itself.

4. Don’t hesitate to vocalize your needs

Speaking of needs, don’t hesitate to be vocal and assertive about yours. Dhriti advises, “Communicate your needs in a situationship clearly, and at the same time, be open to accepting your partner’s needs.” This requires healthy communication on the part of both partners. So, don’t shy away from having a sit-down about what this situationship means to both of you, what you seek from it, and how you intend to go about fulfilling these needs. In doing so, discuss:

• Finding a middle ground where there is a mismatch in needs
• Deal-breakers
• What you would do if one partner’s needs began to change

Related Reading: 10 Critical Emotional Needs In A Relationship

5. Respect your schedule and time

While it’s normal for situationship partners to not communicate consistently or even offer explanations about periods of absence, don’t let this norm become an excuse for your partner to walk all over you and your schedule or treat you badly. My situationship partner, for instance, would go incommunicado for days and then show up at my door when his schedule cleared up, expecting me to drop everything to hang out with him.

In hindsight, I feel that his sense of entitlement was emboldened by my lack of willingness to say no. Don’t let that happen to you. One of the most vital situationship rules is to always respect your schedule and time so that your partner will too. Here is what you can do:

• Discuss when you’d be available to each other
• While it’s okay to make impromptu plans once in a while (remember, the idea of a situationship is to have fun), don’t let it become the norm
• If your partner disregards your schedule, stand up for yourself

6. Make space for other important relationships in your life

Wondering what to do in a situationship to protect yourself? Here is a piece of situationship advice that can help you find the answer: make sure your entire life doesn’t revolve around this casual, fleeting connection, no matter how good it feels. Nurture space in the connection to nurture other important relationships with friends, coworkers, and family. Leading a well-rounded life is key to not letting a situationship become larger than life.

7. Don’t be afraid to explore

One of the basic situationship rules is that there is no commitment or expectation of exclusivity — unless there has been an explicit conversation about the latter. So don’t hold yourself back from dating or talking to other people. Now, I’m not saying that you absolutely have to date other people. But if someone interesting comes along and you feel like exploring what it could lead to, don’t hold yourself back on account of your situationship. Remember, you’re not in a relationship. At the same time, be mindful of the rules of dating multiple people to protect yourself.

8. Follow the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy

Talking about situationship rules, Dhriti says, “There may be certain things you don’t share with each other, and that’s perfectly normal.” One such thing that I can think of is each other’s experiences with dating or hooking up with other people.

No matter how much you tell yourself that your situationship arrangement is completely casual or how devoid of romantic feelings it may be, there is just no way to know for sure how you or your partner may feel about and react to details of the other person’s dating escapades. As far as that goes, stick to the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.

Related Reading: Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?

9. Refrain from emotional vulnerability

Dhriti says, “In a situationship, the entire connection between two people hinges on hiding true feelings and steering clear of any emotional vulnerability. It’s the only way a surface-level involvement can remain just that.” So, naturally, a valuable piece of situationship advice would be to steer clear of letting your guard down in front of your partner.

• Don’t tell about your hopes and fears
• Don’t discuss past traumas and emotional wounds
• Refrain from trading childhood stories
• Leave past loves and heartbreak out of the conversation

These are just the kinds of things that pave the way for emotional intimacy in a relationship. Once there is emotional intimacy, romantic feelings are not far behind.

10. Don’t consider them your plus-one

To protect yourself from the risk of falling for your situationship partner, and being left wishfully wondering, “Can a situationship turn into a relationship?”, make sure you don’t have any relationship-like expectations. For instance, expecting your situationship partner to be your plus one to weddings, high school reunions, or even parties.

Doing so indicates that you’ve begun to view them as an integral part of your life, and that goes against the very basic situationship rules of keeping things transient and casual.

Related Reading: Casual Dating — 13 Rules To Swear By

11. Discuss whether you want to go public, don’t assume

In a typical relationship, there is the expectation of making things public once both partners commit to each other and there is clarity on how they see their future together. Couples announce being together to their friends, post on social media, attend social events together, and so on.

However, that’s not how it necessarily goes in a situationship. My situationship partner, for instance, didn’t want any of his friends to know that we were a thing. So, one of the important situationship rules is to always discuss whether you want to tell people about your arrangement. To avoid stepping on any toes, never assume.

12. Introducing family and friends may be a no-go

I remember my situationship partner once calling me up to say that he was on his way to pick me up. I was hanging out with friends, so I asked him to take a detour to my location. When he showed up, I insisted that he join us for a drink before we went out. While he did come in and chatted my friends up, he wasn’t pleased that I had taken the liberty to do that. The night was a bust and he became somewhat distant afterwards.

Based on my experience, my situationship advice to you would be to avoid introducing your partner to your friends and family. It just places a lot of pressure and leaves unsaid expectations hanging over a fragile connection, and doesn’t play out well.

13. Set firm boundaries

One of the most critical elements that can help you navigate a situationship successfully is setting boundaries early. Right from the get-go, be clear about what you want from this connection, and let your partner know what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Dhriti agrees, and says, “Boundaries help manage expectations, which is exceedingly important in a situationship. They also help you see the other person for who they really are and not through a colored lens of who you want them to be.” Besides, if and when you get to the point of figuring out how to get out of a situationship, these boundaries will make it easier to cut the cord.

14. Enjoy it while it lasts

In adhering to all the situationship rules I have laid out for you, don’t forget to have fun with your situationship partner and savor this unusual relationship while it lasts. As long as you don’t let feelings into the mix and feel comfortable and secure with the person you’re with, a situationship can be an immensely fun ride. Make the most of it.

Related Reading: What Does It Mean When Someone Says They Are Looking For ‘Something Casual’?

15. Remember that it’s temporary

A situationship is by definition fleeting in nature. After a point, you will find yourself at a crossroads, where you’re either wondering how to get out of a situationship or can a situationship turn into a relationship. Now, the way forward really depends on both people involved. If the romantic feelings are mutual, a situationship can materialize into something more. For that to happen,

Dhriti advises, “You have to be willing to invest in the relationship, work on building trust, talk about things like commitment and future, and prioritize open communication.” However, more often than not, the end of a situationship is not this idealistic, and people end up parting ways. Either way, know that a situationship cannot last forever. It will either grow into something more or wither away.

Situationship rules can vary depending on the people involved and their circumstances. For instance, for some, staying over at a situationship partner’s place can be a non-started whereas, for others, even taking weekend trips together may be acceptable. While you can establish ground rules that work well for you, make sure you follow these basic ones to make this experience fun and enjoyable rather than an emotionally harrowing ride.

Seeing Someone vs Dating – 7 Differences You Must Know About

How Long Should You Casually Date Someone – Expert View

Dating With Intention: Meaning And Rules To Set You Up For Success 

Has that ring on your finger started to feel like a handcuff? If you feel your husband’s actions have shifted from caring to controlling, you’ve come to the right place. This controlling husband quiz, created by a relationship counselor with a master’s degree in psychology, will help you spot red flags in your marriage.

As spouses, we naturally want what’s best for our partners, so it’s normal to offer opinions and input about their lives. This is why when your husband tries to control you, you might convince yourself he’s doing it for your own good. However, this is a form of emotional abuse. Healthy communication in marriage looks different and doesn’t leave you feeling micromanaged.

Related Quiz: Is my boyfriend controlling? Quiz

Read through the 10 controlling behaviors in the quiz and see how many your husband exhibits. Answer the questions as honestly as possible. Remember, this control issues test is designed to help you understand your situation and work towards a solution

Questions

1. He stops you from meeting certain friends, or throws a tantrum any time you meet these friends
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
2. He tells you how to dress and forces you to change if he doesn’t approve of your outfit
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
3. How often does he get upset when you make plans without him?
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
4. He becomes jealous of anyone you spend time with
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
5. He makes you feel guilty for choosing to spend time with your family
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
6. He asks to go through your phone and social media accounts
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
7. He respects your privacy and alone time
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
8. How often do the two of you fight because your husband doesn’t trust you?
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
9. He blames you for all the problems in your relationship
   1. Often
   2. Rarely
   3. Never
10. How often does your husband criticise your appearance, opinions, and you in general?
    1. Often
    2. Rarely
    3. Never

Juhi and I have been together for 6 years. However, we have been arguing with each other daily. We argue about minor things like food preferences or even about what we should watch on tv. And sometimes we argue about major things like her helping her friends and family financially even though we are both saving up money for our personal lives and dreams. Although we love each other, I sometimes feel like there is a growing emotional distance between both of us. Sometimes, when we argue, it feels like she wants to hurt me. She says will poke at things she knows I am sensitive about. These arguments are affecting our intimacy levels too and sometimes I feel like we don’t even trust each other. How can I make my girlfriend love me again? I just want things to be the way they were earlier. The arguments are not only becoming an emotional distress for us both, they are now spilling to our family and loved ones too. What can I do?

Answer

Constant or frequent arguments in a relationship chip away at the connection and safety that partners experience with each other. Not only does it add to your stress, but it prolongs the experience of draining emotions such as disappointment, anger, sadness, etc. Naturally, this lack of safety, connection and shared positive emotions leads to distance in the relationship.

A few things to keep in mind about conflict:

1. Partners often get caught up in proving themselves right and the other wrong. It’s important to remember that there is no objectively true experience here. While both you and your partner may have experienced the same event, your experience and understanding of that event will be unique, and can be diametrically opposite. Repeat to yourself: two things can be true at the same time.
2. A lot of these arguments can seem like they’re happening over small, pointless things. When it feels like the response to a given situation is an overreaction, it is safe to assume that the actual problem is not what appears on the surface. A couple arguing over the correct way to cook rice isn’t really arguing about the rice, but the feeling that both experience of the other not validating their experience. Notice the underlying problem. What is this argument really about?
3. Couples often keep a score board of fights they “won”, wherein one partner was proven right, while the other apologized. If you want a healthy, loving relationship, throw this scoreboard out the window. What’s more important – your relationship or being right?
4. Notice the patterns in your conflict. Often, your partner will do something that really triggers you, and vice versa. Once you begin to notice them, trace them back to their origin. Chances are, you’re projecting how you felt back then onto the current situation. It helps to ask, “What about my partner makes me respond like this?”

Related Reading: Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating on me?

A few general tips that can help:

1. You need to balance out negative interactions with your partner with positive ones. Make an effort to spend quality time together.
2. Normalize taking time outs from aggravating conversations, but remember to promise to get back to discussing the topic when you have calmed down. Make sure your partner doesn’t feel abandoned in the middle of conflict.
3. Remember that it is both of you vs the problem and not you vs your partner.
4. Don’t disrespect or harshly criticize your partner in front of others. Such tactics of humiliation may stroke your ego for the moment, but are disastrous for your relationship. Imagine how deeply hurt and betrayed it would feel to know someone you love bad-mouthed you.
5. Criticism is often a disguised wish. We criticize things when we wish they were different. Notice the wish you are trying to convey, change your words accordingly, and say that. It makes a world of difference.

FAQs

My outgoing girlfriend hates restrictions and I feel insecure.

My Girlfriend Won’t Talk To Me

David and I have been together for four years, but his actions have caused me a lot of emotional pain. Despite this, I find myself unable to let go. He often dismisses my feelings, making me feel insignificant. He frequently criticizes me, leaving me feeling insecure and unworthy. David has a tendency to ignore me when I need support, leaving me feeling isolated and alone. Despite these hurtful experiences, I still feel deeply attached to him, and I don’t understand why. I want to be able to leave the relationship but I can’t get myself to. Can you help me understand why I’m struggling to let go of this relationship, despite the pain David has caused me? Why am I so attached to someone who hurt me?

Answer:

This is a fairly common concern people come into therapy with – not being able to let go of someone who has hurt them, and continues to hurt them, despite wanting to. This something I share with a lot of my clients, that being with someone like that often comes with a lot of shame. Perhaps you have friends who keep telling you, “Just break up with them!” or, “You need to love yourself enough to walk away from this.” Such statements, though well-intentioned, often carry a lot of judgement. Which often makes it difficult for the person stuck in a bad relationship that much harder to open up to their friends about.

Related Reading: 20 Proven Ways To Make Him Feel Guilty For Hurting You

The first order of business here is to release yourself from shame. It is not easy to walk away from someone you love, even when they hurt you. This does not make you weak, or any less worthy of respect. There are several reasons why walking away from such a relationship is so difficult:

1. You are waiting and desperately hoping for them to change. There must have been good parts in your relationship. No relationship is all good or all bad. You could be holding onto the good, giving multiple second chances in the hopes that maybe this time around, it will be different. After all, hope is stubborn and doesn’t leave easily.
2. You want to believe that he is better than this, and maybe he has been in the past. All humans hold this deeply subconscious belief that bad things can’t happen to them. It’s what gives us the courage to go through life, even when our safety is not guaranteed. This brings about an urge to deny how bad it really is in your relationship, and how poorly you’re being treated. You may be accepting it intellectually, but not emotionally.
3. A part of you might believe that you deserve being treated this way, or that it is okay for you to be treated this way. Of course, you don’t want to, but that doesn’t alter your belief. It might benefit to check in on your self-esteem and work on raising it. As the quote goes, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
4. The known evil is less terrifying than the unknown. You know what to expect in your relationship. Perhaps, you can even predict your partner’s responses. But there is safety in this familiarity – you know what it is and how it is going to be. Breaking up would mean throwing yourself into the unknown, which hold possibilities of being better and worse. Just a gentle reminder, that fear often lies to us, and we often suffer more in our heads than we do in reality.
5. Perhaps your partner is good at breadcrumbing you with affection. Treating you well once in a while, just enough to keep that hope in you alive, that things could be better. This is a very common technique used in emotional manipulation. Keep your eyes peeled for it, and avoid falling into the trap.
6. Lastly, its also possible that you somewhere feel responsible for your partner’s happiness and improvement. Maybe you took on this relationship thinking that love could change him. I’m sure you know this, but it really isn’t your responsibility to make sure others are happy, or to make sure they grow and heal. Your primary responsibility is towards yourself.

In parting, I would just like to tell you that you don’t need the attachment to go away in order to leave someone. Sometimes, to protect yourself, you leave someone even when you love them still. You cannot always reason with your attachment, but you can make a choice for yourself which keeps you physically, mentally and emotionally safe.

FAQs

Why do I still care about someone who hurt me?

He Still Loves His Ex But Likes Me Too. What Do I Do?

It was Friedrich Nietzsche who said, “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” And these words perhaps mirror the agony of a person betrayed and lied to like no other. If you too have felt cheated by your loved one or are wondering how to forgive a cheating husband, remember sister, you’re not alone.

Yes, cheating may not always be about sexual experience outside marriage. There’s emotional cheating too! And to make matters worse, in this age of social media and overwhelming exposure to a sea of options, cheating has become a common phenomenon. And yet, some of us would rather forgive a cheating husband than ruin a long-term bond that we have nurtured for years. Is it weak to forgive someone for cheating? Probably not, when a lot is at stake.

So, how does one forgive a cheating husband? Does it hurt your self-esteem if you do? And how long does it take to forgive someone for cheating? In this article, we have tried to offer you some tips to deal with unfaithfulness in a relationship, with the help of our expert counselor Dhriti Bhavsar (Master’s degree in Psychology with specialization in clinical psychology), who specializes in relationships, premarital counseling, LGBTQ issues, and breakups. So, read on to find out more about staying with a cheater and the details of betrayal forgiveness…

Can You Forgive A Cheater?

Cheating and forgiveness don’t go too well. But if you’re asking yourself, “Can you forgive a cheater?”, picture this: your husband of 10 years confides in you, saying he once cheated on you with his secretary. Do you walk out of your otherwise good marriage? Do you stay and nurture the relationship? Is it possible to forgive a cheater?

A Reddit user has this to say about forgiving a cheating spouse: “In a long-term relationship, yes. Shit happens and sometimes communication breaks down. But I’m not gonna walk away from a 12-year relationship if she’s willing to cop to it and wants to talk about how to fix it.”

Dhriti agrees, “People can overcome infidelity, and many couples do come out stronger at the other end. However, whether you can forgive the cheater or not is something you should be asking yourself.” She believes one should consider a few things while one tries to forgive a cheating husband, such as:

• Is your partner genuinely apologetic and asking for forgiveness from the heart, or is he sorry for being found out?
• Is he willing to make an effort for the sake of your relationship and regain trust?
• Is he taking accountability for his actions or is he focused on blaming this on you?
• Do you have it in you to trust him again and do you think the relationship is worth saving?

Dhriti adds: “It will take time to rebuild trust and reach a place where you can forgive your partner/spouse. You will be required to be patient with yourself and with them. But this can be a real turning point in the relationship.”

Importance Of Forgiveness In A Relationship

Talking about betrayal forgiveness in relationships, a Reddit user had this to say, “Mistakes happen in relationships and it is fair to forgive once, twice, or even three times, but a pattern of mistakes after clear communication of the problem shouldn’t be ignored. It probably signals a respect issue and that you are not compatible with one another.” And we can’t help but agree.

While forgiveness is essential to maintaining a long-term and healthy relationship, it is also crucial to check if your generosity or love isn’t abused by your cheating partner. After all, you don’t wish to be the one regretting forgiving infidelity.

Related Reading: Forgiving My Partner’s Infidelity To Reclaim My Life

Nonetheless, there’s no alternative to forgiveness when it comes to saving a relationship in the long run, provided the person you’re forgiving knows the value of your bond. Dhriti lists out a few facts about forgiveness and tells us why it may be the most precious factor in maintaining a relationship:

• Holding onto resentment will not let you overcome the pangs of cheating, keeping both of you in a miserable place
• We forgive others more for our sake than for theirs. So, forgiveness after cheating brings peace because we’re able to let go of what is hurting us
• Forgiveness in a relationship does not equate to forgetting. Forgiveness also does not mean you’re allowing the person to hurt you in the same way again
• Betrayal forgiveness creates room for repairs. So, if your cheating husband is asking for forgiveness, it is often a golden ray of hope for rebuilding the relationship
• Forgiveness in a relationship is voluntary, meaning no one can force it out of you, including you. This is also why forgiveness empowers the forgiver and the forgiven

15 Helpful Tips On How To Forgive A Cheating Husband

Yes, being cheated on by your husband can take its toll on your mental health. It can make you suspicious and irritable. You may not ever be able to trust your husband or anyone for that matter. Forgiveness after cheating too may be quite an impossible thought for you. But what happens when your husband has cheated just once, at a moment’s weakness, and has been repenting ever since? What happens when you have kids and financial burdens to cater to? Or if you’ve invested in a future together and don’t wish to let go of the emotional bond you share with your husband?

Related Reading: 12 Simple Tips To Build Healthy Relationships

In such cases, you may be more amenable to mend ways with your cheating partner or give them a second chance in the relationship. So, while you ponder over how to forgive someone who hurt you emotionally, why not take a look at the 15 tips on how to forgive a cheating husband that we’ve collated with the help of Dhriti. Here they go:

1. Be patient with yourself

Dhriti feels, “When you’re considering forgiving infidelity, it’s important to be patient with yourself and let time take care of some of your pain. Don’t rush anything.” A friend of mine, Andrea, had a similar experience. She found out her husband had been cheating on her with a friend, after reading his texts.

She was in tears for days and decided to end the relationship soon after. Two years later, she bumped into her ex-husband and was surprised to find out that he hadn’t been in a relationship ever since Andrea had left him. His repentance made her realize she had probably made a hasty decision.

2. Feel your emotions

Just as important as it is to give yourself enough time to process the shock of being cheated on, you should also go through all the emotions that this phase brings with it. Dhriti advises, “Allow yourself to authentically experience and express whatever comes up — any emotion, thought, or feeling you have around this situation should be acknowledged. It’s okay to feel angry or hurt.”

So, instead of shoving your negative emotions under the carpet, go through them, be it anger, sadness, or despair, so that when you emerge from this, you can think over with a clear headspace. This is the answer to how to forgive someone who hurt you emotionally.

Related Reading: Emotional Adultery: I’m Cheating On My Wife, Not Physically But Emotionally

3. Don’t force yourself to be strong

Yes, forgiveness after cheating can be hard. No, being strong doesn’t work when you’re suppressing your true feelings and emotions, without venting and bottling all of it up instead. Dhriti says, “It’s important to remember to be yourself and not force yourself to feel or act a certain way.”

A coworker, Sheila, was known for her vivacious nature and her ever-smiling face. Nobody at work got a hint of what she was going through in her personal life, till she started howling in the bathroom one fine day. Two of her coworkers, including me, had to hold her and make her sit before she eventually vented about her husband’s infidelity and how it had affected her. So, in case you’re wondering how to forgive a cheating husband, well, you need to vent and stop being too strong.

4. Identify your needs

Want to know how to forgive a cheater? Or are you still struggling with staying with a cheater? Dhriti says, “During a tough phase such as this one, you need to find out what it is that you actually need.” So, ask yourself:

• What do you need from your partner? Do you need them to leave you alone or pacify you and apologize?
• What is it that you expect from yourself? Do you wish to quit and stay all by yourself or forgive and accommodate your partner’s flaws?
• What do you need, in general, in order to overcome this? Do you need to speak to someone in your family? Or your friends? Or do you need time away from all this?

Related Reading: Is Indifference Or Disrespect Equivalent To Cheating On Spouse?

5. Set clear boundaries

Is it weak to forgive someone for cheating? Well, not when you have healthy boundaries. Dhriti believes, “Setting clear boundaries is a non-negotiable even in a healthy relationship. So, it’s absolutely necessary to convey your needs to your husband and create boundaries to protect them.” This is how to forgive a cheating husband with grace. Boundaries can look like:

• Asking for transparency in the relationship
• Letting them know you’re not okay with them subtly flirting with other women at parties or at work
• Telling them about your emotional or sexual needs and if they are being met

6. Seek support

When you’re dealing with a cheating husband and are clueless about how to forgive a cheater, one of the primary things is to find a support network you can vent to and rely on. Dhriti advises, “Seek out support from people who you trust. Create a safe space around you.” This can help you navigate the puzzle of how to let go of hurt and betrayal. This network can include your trusted friends, a family member, or coworkers. But be mindful that you don’t vent to the wrong person, or you’ll end up as fodder for mindless gossip.

Related Reading: Gut Feeling He’s Cheating, No Proof? 31 Signs Your Instincts Are On Point

7. Don’t blame yourself

The worst thing you can do while staying with a cheater or dealing with a cheating husband is to blame yourself for the whole incident. So, you may blame yourself for:

• Not being good-looking or attractive enough
• Not keeping track of his activities
• Not being good in bed

Dhriti suggests, “Avoid falling into a spiral of blaming yourself. This does more harm than good to your overall well-being. Understand that affairs happen irrespective of the role of the cheated spouse in the relationship.”

8. Opt for open and honest communication

To those wondering how to let go of hurt and betrayal, Dhriti says, “There’s no alternative to a wholehearted talk, when it comes to resolving such issues, even if you’re feeling angry. So, opt for open and honest communication with your husband about why this happened and where to go from here.”

Here’s what you can do:

• Ask them what their needs are from the relationship
• Find out if your relationship goals still align
• Identify differences, if any. Find out if you have both evolved into different people with different life goals and values

Related Reading: My Husband Cheated On Me But I Decided To Stay Together For The Kids

9. Spend enough time alone

Dhriti says, “You should put time and effort into nurturing yourself, addressing your pain, and creating a safe space within you.” Remember, it is only when you are complete by yourself that you’ll be able to deal with this situation in a healthy way. So, spend enough time by yourself. Nurture yourself and listen to your emotional needs. The answer to how to forgive and let go of a cheating husband with grace will come to you.

10. Recognize the efforts of your husband

It’s very easy to overlook any efforts your husband is making during this phase, as your anger and sadness can cloud your judgment. But Dhriti says, “It’s extremely important to acknowledge the efforts your spouse is making.” So, here’s what to do:

• Don’t make him feel invisible just because you’re going through your pain
• Talk if he wants to
• Let him apologize and make amends, instead of shutting him out or giving him the silent treatment
• Engage in emotional intimacy, if he is willing
• Don’t encourage negative emotions when you’re talking

Related Reading: Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 11 Things To Think Over!

11. Be accountable

In case you’re feeling hurt in a relationship due to a cheating husband, Dhriti suggests, “Take accountability for your part in contributing to the problems in your marriage.” So, while you shouldn’t be blaming yourself for everything that’s gone wrong or doubting yourself for letting this happen, you should also not overlook your own part in this whole scenario. Ask yourself these questions:

• Did you ignore your husband when he wished to speak to you in the past?
• Did you neglect him and his needs and stay glued to your phone or social media profile instead?
• Have you been rude to him, his friends, or his parents?
• Did you make offensive or sarcastic remarks, demeaning him, in public?

12. Focus on self-care

So, if you’re feeling hurt in a relationship and wondering, “How can you forgive a cheater?”, well, Dhriti suggests, “You should always have constructive and healthy outlets for your emotions, in such cases.” So, forget about cheating and forgiveness for a while, or if possible, forgive and let go. And definitely focus on your own happiness and opt for ways of self-care such as:

• Journaling
• Daily exercise
• Mindfulness and meditation
• Eating in a healthy way
• Hobbies, such as pottery, reading, or painting

Related Reading: 10 Signs Your Husband Is Having An Affair

13. Find reasons to forgive your husband

As you work through the conundrum of how to forgive a cheater, remember, that much as it is important to make sure you’re not taken for granted by your husband, it’s also crucial to find ways to make your relationship work again. Dhriti says, “Figure out reasons to forgive this person because you can only forgive him if you have enough reasons to and think the relationship is worth saving and fighting for.” So, ask yourself questions such as:

• Who are you doing this for?
• What do you expect to gain out of it?
• Is he asking for forgiveness?

14. Set realistic expectations

Dhriti says, “It’s important to set relationship expectations that are realistic and have a clear idea about what will come before and after you forgive your partner.” And we agree. You should have a real picture of the whole scenario when dealing with your husband’s cheating ways and looking forward to making your relationship work again.

You shouldn’t be expecting a dreamy rom-com-like reconciliation or comparing your relationship to someone else’s Instagram couple selfies. Be prepared for rifts. And be sure that it won’t be easy. This is the only way forward to a great relationship dynamic after infidelity.

Related Reading: Coping With Depression After Cheating On Someone – 7 Expert Tips

15. Consult a mental health professional

And if all else fails in your effort to deal with your husband’s cheating ways, don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed mental health professional, speak to a family therapist, or go for couples counseling. Remember, sound and practical advice from a professional has no alternative. And if you need any help, Bonobology’s counseling services are here for you. They will help you to forgive and let go of the hurt

By now, you must be acquainted with how to forgive a cheating husband and deal with feeling hurt in a relationship due to cheating. Whether you found your husband had been cheating by spying on him or got to know about it when he broke down and confided in you, dealing with a cheating husband will never be an easy task. And yet, at times, it becomes necessary to forgive your man, because you either don’t wish to lose the person forever or you have a lot at stake. 

But whether you choose to practice forgiveness or decide to part ways, it’s important that you do it because you want to and not because you’ve been forced to by circumstances. A new and healthier relationship is always welcome if you feel being with your husband is a toxic option after the infidelity.

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“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny,” said legendary athlete and bestselling author Steve Maraboli. And he was right. But how do you stop loving someone so suddenly? Well, though we talk about detaching emotionally very often, it’s easier said than done. When you find yourself at that crossroads, how to emotionally let go of someone you love becomes a burning concern.

So, if you’re wondering how to let him go or let her go, fret not. In this article, we’ll tell you all about how to unlove someone you love the most. With insights from California-based psychiatrist and cognitive behavior therapist Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in Psychiatry), who specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues, we will delve deeper into the signs it’s time to let go, the reasons it’s difficult to do so, and 11 tips to get over someone.

Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of Someone

Before we come to the question of how to emotionally let go of someone you love, let’s focus on the signs you need to walk away. Most of us like to be in long-term relationships — something we can rely on. We want our relationships to be like strong pillars, supporting our lives. We want them to be with us through every odd storm. But is that the case all the time? Well, not all are lucky to have such relationships, and more often than not, we need to voluntarily let some people go, either for our own good or theirs or merely because of the circumstances. This leaves us wondering how to unlove someone you love the most.

Dr. Batra says, “Sometimes, people think that just because they are in a relationship, they have to keep it going. Watch out for the signs, which might indicate otherwise and you’ll see when it’s time to let go of someone, particularly in a romantic relationship.” She thus helps us with 7 signs that help us realize that it’s time to let go of someone:

1. Lack of respect

So, how do you stop loving someone you once couldn’t live without? Dr. Batra says, “We know it’s time to let someone go when respect seems to be lost in the relationship.” Now, respect can mean different things to different people. For some, it may be the respect that a partner shows toward their career choices, dress sense, or interests. For others, it may be something as simple as sharing household workload equally.

This is what a Reddit user had to say on what disrespect meant to her in a relationship: “If someone walks past the dishes 6 times a day without touching them, don’t believe them if they say they didn’t notice. That’s an adult (one hopes) who is aware that they
need clean plates and forks and probably doesn’t believe in fairies. They’ve just decided it’s a better use of your time than theirs.”

2. Lack of trust

Another major sign that it’s time to let go of someone is when there’s no trust left in the relationship. A Reddit user shares his pain of not being trusted enough by his partner and how he decided it was time to let her go: “Essentially, she doesn’t trust or believe things that I say. I’ve noticed it in a lot of different forms, like not believing that I’m at work when I say I am, thinking that I’m talking to other girls behind her back, or thinking that I could get off work early to hang out with her, but just choosing not to, etc.”

Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips On How To Let Go Of Hurt And Betrayal

Now, lack of trust itself can stem from a lot of issues, such as:

• Lack of regular communication
• Sneaky behavior, such as hiding your phone from your partner
• Blatant flirting (even of the harmless variety)
• Past instances of cheating

3. When lies have taken over

How do you stop loving someone so abruptly? Well, a relationship survives on honesty, and when lies take over, there’s enough reason to let go of your partner. A study on the impact of lies in relationships proved that “real lies were found to be the
most serious type of lie having malicious intentions, negative consequences, be more self-serving, zero truthfulness, and considered unacceptable.” And this study took into consideration all types of lies, including white lies that didn’t have any serious impact. So, what are some such lies that may be a sign that it’s time to let go of someone? Well, they can be lies about:

• Their job or financial status: This could be done in a bid to try and appear richer than they are
• A health issue: There could be a terminal illness or any mental health condition that they have hidden or not told you about. This may be a lie of omission
• Their relationship status: They may have hidden a past marriage or another partner

Related Reading: Resentment In A Relationship – Signs, Causes, And How To Let Go

4. When you’re in a draining or harmful relationship

To those confused about when to let go of a relationship, Dr. Batra says, “You know it’s time to let go of a relationship if there’s more drain than rejuvenation in it.” And we totally think she’s right. Relationships work only when they’re energizing you or supporting you, not when they’re drawing every ounce of energy that you have. So, what are some examples of draining relationships? Here are a few:

• If you’re the one who ends up doing most of the household chores
• If you end up being financially drained trying to cater to your partner’s luxuries and whims
• If your partner’s manipulative ways in the relationship leave you emotionally exhausted

5. You’ve lost your self-esteem

When you have no self-esteem left in a relationship, that’s when you know it’s time to let go. It’s also one of the most prominent stages of falling out of love. So, such a scenario can arise when:

• You are constantly abused, be it verbally, physically, or emotionally
• You are ridiculed in front of your friends or theirs
• Your opinion is not asked for when big decisions are made

6. Both your priorities have changed

So, are you wondering when to let go of a relationship? Here is a clear indicator to look out for — growing apart. With time, people change and so do their interests and priorities. While some people may stick to their old selves, most evolve. You know it’s time to let go of your relationship when both your priorities don’t align anymore. This can look something like the following:

• Your partner may wish to stay back in their hometown while you wish to move abroad for work
• You may place value on hustle – a corporate job, a luxury car, a plush apartment, etc., but your partner may wish to live a laid-back life, running a café in the hills

Related Reading: The Importance Of Letting People Go

7. Negative emotions have become a daily fare

One of the indicative stages of falling out of love is when there’s an excess of negative emotions. Dr. Batra says, “When negative emotions, like anger and jealousy, have taken over, you know it’s probably time to let go.” In such cases, there can be regular arguments in the relationship about who’s right, anger at one partner for not giving enough to the relationship, and jealousy of a partner’s success. This is one of the oft-repeated answers to the question: “How do you stop loving someone so suddenly?”

Letting Go Of Someone You Love — Why Is It So Hard?

Do you often find yourself wondering, “How can I move on from the person I once loved so dearly?” Well, this is perfectly fine and natural. Dr. Batra says, “When one gets into a romantic relationship, a lot of exchange takes place. Several barriers are
lowered and healthy boundaries are expanded to unhealthy levels. A romantic partner is the one person with whom an individual goes that extra mile. Sometimes, it’s like putting all your eggs in one basket. That is why letting go seems hard.” Here are a few reasons why letting go of someone may be hard, though necessary:

1. You’ve invested time in this person

Dr. Batra feels, “It’s extremely tough for a person to leave a relationship that they’ve invested a significant amount of time in.” And we agree. People often find it hard to split with long-term partners or even file for a divorce on legitimate grounds if they’ve
been together for 10 or 20 years. It makes you think the time you’ve spent with them will go to waste.

2. You’ve adjusted a lot

Another reason why letting go of someone and moving forward is hard is because you may have adjusted or changed yourself a lot just to be with that person. So, you may have:

• Left a job to turn into a homemaker for this person
• Turned vegan from a non-vegetarian just to adjust to their lifestyle
• Changed your religion to cater to their religious views

Related Reading: We Couldn’t End Our Relationship Nor Do We See A Future Together…

So, you may feel that your personality is not intertwined with theirs and you don’t know who you are without this relationship. The idea of leaving the person now may affect your emotional health.

3. You have mutual friends

Dr. Batra says, “You’ll find it quite difficult to let go of a partner if ⁠your friend or social circles are intersecting.” This is how it may affect you:

• Your friends may take sides, and you may end up losing a few common friends
• You may find it awkward to visit social events that have common friends attending
• Your partner may end up revealing your personal issues and secrets to your common friends, often blaming you

This is why you probably ask yourself repeatedly, “How can I move on from my partner so easily?”

Related Reading: How To Get Out Of An Unhealthy Relationship: A Step-by-Step Guide

4. You’re used to them

A lot of times, we end up being used to a partner’s toxic or negative ways and means, without even realizing it. In such cases, learning to let go is difficult. Dr. Batra says, “You may find it tough to emotionally let go of a person when you’re conditioned to them. So, happy memories may hit you often. You may be reminded of vacations, anniversaries, or bringing up kids together. So, you may feel comfortable with the status quo. This may also make you wonder, “How can I move on from my love so quickly?”

Here’s what a Reddit user had to say about the same: “After you’ve been with someone for a while, it becomes comfortable. Even if it’s toxic and unhealthy, it’s still comfortable and familiar. It’s a whole lot less depressing to focus on the good things instead of the bad things.”

5. You may have FOMO (the fear of missing out)

Dr. Batra says, “In many cases, I’ve found my clients ending up with FOMO and thinking they might be wrong about their romantic partners.” In such cases, people may hold on to their toxic relationships in the hope that their partners might turn around and change their ways someday. They fear that they will be missing out on the evolved versions of their partners if they leave them. So, this is why you probably can’t make up your mind about walking away from someone you love.

Therapist Shares Tips On How To Emotionally Let Go Of Someone You Love

So, now that you have a clear idea of the signs that it’s time to let go of someone and why such a decision may seem hard for you, are you looking out for some tips to get over someone? Are you always wondering, “How can I get over someone with grace and without hurting them?”

Well, you see, letting go requires detaching emotionally and making a decision based on reason rather than emotions. And though it may be tough initially and may make you wonder, “How can I move on?”, in the long run, it may turn out to be the best relationship decision you’ve ever made, as it will free you of unhealthy and unrealistic expectations and boost your self-esteem.

Dr. Batra shares 11 tips on walking away from someone you love with grace in this section. So, let’s not waste any more time and dive straight into the art of letting go and moving on. Here are the tips on how to unlove someone you love the most:

Related Reading: Causes & Signs Of An Emotionally Exhausting Relationship And How To Fix Them

1. Know why you are letting go

Dr. Batra thinks, “It’s extremely important for you to know exactly why you’re letting them go. This is for your own clarity and it will act as a reminder that you’ve made the best decision.” So, here’s how to go about it:

• Find out the root cause or the main reasons why you feel your relationship isn’t working anymore
• Write these reasons down in a journal, so that you remember them later
• Stick to your decision and don’t waver

2. Make an action plan

If you’re clueless about how to move on from a relationship, well, making an action plan is necessary. In case you’ve already invested a lot, be it emotionally, physically, or financially, in the relationship, it may be a tough decision to stay apart. For instance, you may have kids to take care of or a house to manage.

Dr. Batra suggests, “Recognize the life you will have after you let go. This is absolutely necessary if you’re always asking yourself, “How can I get over someone? So, start working toward that life now.”
For instance:

• If you need a divorce, make arrangements with a lawyer for a legitimate alimony
• If you need financial support, start looking for a job or other avenues to earn before leaving them

Related Reading: What To Do After A Breakup To Move On? Try This 9 Step Expert-Backed Strategy

3. Be respectful

If you’re wondering how to stay away from someone you love without hurting them, the answer is: by being respectful. Dr. Batra advises, “If you’re still learning to let go, it’s very important that you maintain respect when you communicate with your partner about ending the relationship. It shows you can let go gracefully and without spite.” So, make sure:

• You don’t gaslight them
• There’s no abusive language used
• You don’t ridicule them or make sarcastic comments
• You don’t start a blame game

4. Be mindful

Being mindful is one of the most significant steps in learning to let go. Dr. Batra suggests, “Recognize what you are going to gain and lose in this process. Be mindful of what is to come and what you should expect.” So, you may gain your independence or self-respect back after letting go and moving on from a toxic partner, but you may end up losing a long-term bond, your common friends, or a plush house that you shared. You should be able to weigh the pros and cons and make a well-informed decision. This is how to emotionally let go of someone you love, in case you’re always asking yourself, “How can I get over someone?”

Related Reading: Why ‘I Need Closure’ Weighs On Our Mind After A Breakup

5. Accept that you will be hurt

The best way to deal with letting go and moving on is to accept the hurt. Dr. Batra suggests, “Accept that pain is inevitable while grieving a relationship and you will be emotional about it.” So, instead of going into denial mode, where you’re always smiling or sharing ‘be positive’ motivational quotes on social media, try and do a reality check. Own your emotions and accept that you’re sad. Only then will you find peace.

6. Reach out to others

Spending time with others is how to move on from a relationship effectively. When going through an emotional roller-coaster, it’s crucial to get in touch with your friends (or one best friend), family members, and other well-wishers, such as like-minded people in a support group. Dr. Batra says, “Reach out to those who are your support and stress busters. You need these people now more than ever, especially if you’ve been going through post-infidelity stress after being cheated on and have finally been able to let go. In any case, your other relationships shouldn’t have ever been pushed to the back burner.”

Related Reading: What To Do After A Breakup: Post-Breakup Feelings

My friend, Alice, was down in the dumps when she decided to let go of her boyfriend of 8 years after he cheated on her with a coworker. In fact, for weeks before breaking up, she wondered how to let him go without making it bitter. After she broke up, another friend and I decided to cheer her up, and we would take turns calling her up every day and checking on her. We also made sure she got out of her house and would arrange get-togethers every weekend for a couple of months, till we were sure she was over him.

7. Look for positivity

If you’re clueless about how to stay away from someone you love, try looking for positivity. Dr. Batra feels, “It’s imperative, in these times, to look at everything else in your life that’s still good and still beautiful. A positive attitude always helps.” So, if you love the cool breeze that brushes your face when you go out to jog every morning, go jogging more often. If you like the fragrance of the flowers that adorn your houseplant, water the plant more often. If you love playing the guitar or reading, do it more often. Remember that you’re still whole and beautiful by yourself.

8. Engage in charity

Dr. Batra says, “In these tough times, you can engage in something beyond yourself so that you can get your mind away from your own woes. Charity, for example, helps a lot.” So, here’s what you can do:

• Donate some books or clothes to the needy
• Join charitable trusts and organizations
• Adopt a kid virtually and give them a new life
• Spend time with the elderly at a senior care home

Related Reading: 12 Completely Valid Reasons To End A Relationship – No Matter What the World Says

9. Learn something new

Rejuvenating the brain is very important as you try to ascertain how to emotionally let go of someone you love. Dr. Batra suggests, “Indulge in learning something new if you’re grieving a breakup or the end of a relationship. Anything. It could be a hobby or something you have no idea about but always wanted to try. Such new activities stimulate new brain cells.”

So, here’s what you can do if you’re wondering how to let him go or let her go without making a mess:

• Join a Zumba or fitness class
• Take up a hobby you once loved, such as pottery, music, or painting
• Learn a new activity that you’ve never tried before

10. Learn from your mistakes

Addressing the dilemma of how to emotionally let go of someone you love, Dr. Batra suggests, “Introspect and think about things that you could have done differently. And forgive yourself too.” While we agree, we would also like to state that it’s equally important not to blame yourself for the split. Remember, adjustments in a marriage or a relationship can be made from both ends. So, while it’s fine to be aware of your flaws, make sure you don’t feel guilty for ending the difficult relationship. This could be the answer to how to move on from a relationship with grace.

Related Reading: How To Let Go Of An Ex Who Has Moved On For Good

11. Seek professional help

If even after trying everything to cope with this situation, you still feel helpless, try consulting a mental health professional. Dr. Batra says, “I know you can manage and you have friends and family to guide you, but seeking professional help is always a better idea, as experts are trained to help you cope emotionally and make the process seamless. Yes, you may face some tough questions, but it will be worth it.” If you need any help, Bonobology’s counseling services are here for you.

So, we hope we’ve been able to resolve all your queries about emotionally letting go of someone you love. You see, relationships don’t operate on on-off switches. It’s also not as easy to forget someone as it is to suggest detaching yourself.

But if a connection has turned toxic and if all you can see is a dead end, it’s better to be safe than sorry. And there’s no point in grieving a relationship that you feel is impossible to fix. Remember, a relationship is also about you and your desires and feelings. So, you are a whole being by yourself. Now that you know how to move on from a relationship, go ahead and let go of anything that limits you as soon as you feel ready. Look for healthier connections and a new relationship! Make new memories!

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Every bride-to-be knows what an exciting and exhilarating experience it is to put together a wedding of her dreams. A pivotal part of making the process easier and the wedding day that much more dazzling are your bridesmaids. Not only do they see you through the most stressful moments of wedding planning but also add elegance and charm to the wedding party, not to mention, taking on the crucial role of keeping you comfortable and your nerves calm.

Naturally, you’d want such an important part of your journey toward marital bliss to be highlighted and recognized on the big day. One way of doing that is choosing the most exquisite dresses for your bridesmaids. When we think of bridesmaid dresses, satin comes up as a natural frontrunner for choice of fabric. But why is satin such a popular choice? And is it right for you? Let’s find out

The popularity of satin bridesmaid dresses

Satin bridesmaid dresses have surged in popularity, thanks to their timeless elegance and versatile appeal. Here’s why they’ve become a top choice:

• Luxurious aesthetic: The smooth texture and subtle sheen of this fabric exude luxury, elevating the overall look of bridal parties
• Flattering fit: The fabric drapes gracefully, flattering diverse body types and ensuring bridesmaids feel confident and comfortable
• Practicality: This free-flowing fabric is resistant to wrinkles, making it ideal for maintaining a sophisticated look throughout the long wedding festivities, right from the ceremony to reception
• Timelessness: It’s a classic choice that has stood the test of time while other trendy fabrics come and go
• Versatility: Styling options with satin are limited only by your imagination. This versatile fabric can be used to craft the most versatile and stunning designs, right from traditional floor-length gowns to modern midi styles

Related Reading: 42 Gift Ideas To Say Thank You For Being A Bridesmaid

Features of satin bridesmaid dresses

The timeless elegance of satin bridesmaid dresses can hardly be questioned. But what makes it so? Well, there are a host of reasons why the satin fabric and bridesmaid dresses are a match made in heaven. They range from the luxurious texture and subtle sheen of the fabric to its ability to flatter diverse body types, and resist wrinkles. Besides, satin dresses fit right into a variety of themes, vibes, and styles, ranging from formal and traditional to chic and modern.

Characteristics of satin fabric

Before we delve into the intricacies of satin dresses for bridesmaids and how to zero-in on the perfect fit and style, let’s take a closer look at what makes this fabric such a timeless classic.

What is satin?

Satin is a lustrous fabric known for its smooth texture and glossy surface. It is created using a weaving technique that produces a shiny front side and a dull backside. Typically made from silk, polyester, or a blend of both, satin has a luxurious feel and appearance. 

Its tightly woven fibers give it a fluid drape, making it ideal for elegant garments like evening gowns, lingerie, and of course, bridesmaid dresses. Satin’s versatility and timeless allure have cemented its status as a staple in the world of fashion and textile production.

Related Reading: 20 Bridesmaid Proposal Box Ideas – Ultimate List Of Things To Include

Features

The following distinctive features of the fabric contribute to its enduring popularity:

• Its glossy finish reflects light beautifully, creating an elegant and luxurious appearance.
• It feels soft and silky to the touch, adding a sensual allure and element of comfort
• It drapes excellently and flows gracefully over the body, thus flattering various body types
• Despite its delicate appearance, satin is a durable fabric 
• It’s available in a wide variety of various colors and finishes, helping you make  unique fashion statements

Application

Satin has diverse applications, owing to its luxurious texture and versatility:

• Satin is a popular choice for elegant garments such as evening gowns, bridal wear, and lingerie
• It is also used to make premium accessories like scarves, ties, handbags, and shoes
• Satin is the go-to choice for costumes used in theater, film, and cosplay because of its glamor quotient
• In addition to this, satin is also used for crafts, furnishings, and decor

Design style

Satin offers endless design possibilities, from classic elegance to modern chic:

• Classic silhouettes: Timeless A-line or sheath designs that offer a traditional look
• Modern cuts: Asymmetrical hems or sleek minimalist styles for a contemporary twist
• Embellishments:  Enhancements with beads, lace, or embroidery for a sophisticated touch

Related Reading: 16 Wedding Party Gifts For Both Bride And Groom Squad

Cutting

The satin fabric can be cut in several different ways, each offering an equally flattering fit and drape:

• Bias cut: Cutting satin on the bias enhances its drape and fluidity, accentuating curves while minimizing bulk
• Princess seams: Incorporating princess seams creates a tailored silhouette, flattering the body’s natural contours
• Gathered or draped details: Utilizing gathers or draping techniques adds texture and interest, enhancing the fabric’s luxurious appeal
• Careful pattern placement: Strategic pattern placement can highlight or disguise certain areas, optimizing the garment’s overall flattery
• Smooth seams and finishes: Employing techniques like French seams or rolled hems maintains the fabric’s smooth surface, ensuring a polished and professional finish

Silhouette

Satin fabric lends itself to a variety of flattering silhouettes such as:

• A-Line: The A-line silhouette flares gently from the waist, creating a flattering shape
• Sheath: Sleek and form-fitting, the sheath silhouette accentuates curves while maintaining a sophisticated, streamlined look
• Ball gown: Perfect for formal occasions, the ball gown silhouette features a fitted bodice and voluminous skirt, exuding romance and grandeur
• Fit and flare: Combining the elegance of a sheath with the drama of a ball gown, the fit and flare silhouette hugs the body before flaring out at the hips, creating a stunning hourglass effect

Related Reading: 30 Unique And Affordable Bridesmaid Proposal Gift Ideas

Trend

The trends in satin dresses often reflect a blend of timeless elegance with modern sophistication:

• Slip dresses: Effortlessly chic, slip dresses in satin offer a minimalist aesthetic with delicate straps and fluid silhouettes
• Wrap styles: Satin wrap dresses are gaining popularity, featuring flattering waist ties and asymmetrical hemlines for a touch of contemporary flair
• Bold colors: Vibrant hues like emerald green, rich burgundy, and deep navy are trending, adding a bold and luxurious statement to satin garments
• Texture play: Textured satin, such as hammered or jacquard satin, introduces visual interest and dimension to dresses, elevating their appeal with subtle yet striking details

Matching Satin Bridesmaid Dresses

Matching satin bridesmaid dresses has been a popular trend in bridal fashion. One of the key reasons why it has been the go-to choice for dazzling bridesmaids to put their best forward for the bride-to-be is the versatility and pliability of this fabric, which allows weaving in an element of cohesion and uniformity while also retaining a touch of individuality.  

For instance, choosing similar styles or varying shades from a specific color palette allows each bridesmaid to express their individuality while maintaining a cohesive look. Whether in classic neutrals or contemporary jewel tones, matching satin bridesmaid dresses create a polished aesthetic that accentuates the appeal of the entire ceremony.

Basic principles for selecting matching satin dresses for bridesmaids

Selecting matching satin dresses for bridesmaids revolves around two fundamental principles — cohesion and individuality. Cohesion ensures a harmony with the overall theme and creates a unified aesthetic. Individuality empowers bridesmaids to select styles that flatter their body types and suit their personal preferences. Striking this balance is crucial for ensuring that while a bride’s image manifests perfectly on her wedding day, each member of the Team Bride feels confident and resplendent in their chosen attire. Here are some considerations to be mindful of in order to strike that balance:

Related Reading: The Ultimate Wedding Plan Guide

Accessories

Selecting the right accessories to complement matching satin dresses is a vital part of the process. Here are the key considerations for accessorizing satin bridesmaid dresses the right way:

• Choose accessories in hues that complement the dresses
• Work with subtle embellishments like pearls or crystals add elegance without overpowering the dress 
• Lean in favor of versatile accessories like dainty necklaces, stud earrings, and bracelets can be chosen based on the style of the dress.

Hairstyle

The way you style your hair can make or break a look. That’s why bridesmaids must carefully choose hairstyling options keeping in mind the following:

• Dress necklines: Opt for hairstyles that accentuate the neckline of the dresses. Now, this can mean choosing updos or half-up styles for high-neck dresses, or flowing locks or side-swept styles for strapless or sweetheart necklines
• Accessories: Choose a hairstyle keeping in mind any hair accessories that are part of the ensemble, such as tiaras, hairpins, or floral crowns
• Hair texture: Take into account the natural texture and length of hair to select styles that brings out your face

Matching the wedding theme

Aligning matching satin dresses with the wedding theme brings out the element of harmony even more. Here are some tips on matching satin bridesmaid dresses with the overall wedding theme:

• Color palette: Choose shades that complement the overall color scheme of the wedding
• Style: Select dress styles that reflect the vibe of the wedding theme, whether it’s classic and traditional or modern and trendy
• Detailing: Choose details such as embellishments or textures based on the wedding decor and venue

Related Reading: 41 Funny Wedding Toasts That’ll Leave Everyone Laughing

Personalizing the bridesmaids dresses

Personalizing matching bridesmaid satin dresses is vital to ensure some of the most important people in the wedding party are comfortable and at ease. Here are some way to achieve that: 

• Offer alterations to ensure each bridesmaid’s dress fits perfectly
• Encourage bridesmaids to accessorize with items that reflect their personal taste 
• Make room for custom embellishments or alterations
• Work with a selection of shades within the chosen color palette to accommodate different skin tones and personal preferences

Tips for buying satin bridesmaid dresses

When buying satin bridesmaid dresses, the following factors can ensure a seamless shopping experience

• Style: Give the bridesmaids freedom to choose dress styles that flatter their body types, of course, working within the parameters of the wedding theme
• Price:  Discuss and set a budget for bridesmaid dresses so that no one feels an unnecessary pinch in the pocket on account of being in your bridal party. When setting a budget, factor in additional costs for alterations and accessories. Then, look for retailers or designers offering discounts or promotions to maximize savings without compromising quality
• Timing: Start shopping for bridesmaid dresses early to allow time for fittings, alterations, and delivery. Coordinate with bridesmaids to accommodate their schedules and preferences while ensuring dresses are ordered well in time to avoid any last-minute panic

Choosing the perfect bridesmaid dresses can be an elaborate, often taxing, process. But with clarity of vision, being in sync with your bridesmaids, and choosing a fabric like satin that you just can’t go wrong with, you can check this item off your wedding to-do list rather seamlessly. 

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How can you tell if your fiancé is cheating? This isn’t typically a question you expect to be grappling with when you’re engaged to the man of your dreams. There you are neck-deep in planning mode, scouring venues, looking for dresses, finalizing décor and menu, but something begins to feel off.

Perhaps, your fiancé doesn’t seem as invested in your shared future as he used to be. Or, there is an emotional distance in the relationship. Or maybe, you can’t quite put a finger on why but your gut instinct is telling you, you’re dealing with a cheating fiancé. This unshakable feeling can bring you to a strong crossroads.

On the one hand, there are all your hopes and dreams. On the other, the abject reality of your fiancé cheating on you. No matter how hard you try, you can’t walk down the rosy road unless you have gotten to the bottom of your suspicions. To that end, we bring this lowdown on the red flags of cheating your fiancé may be displaying.

How Can You Tell If Your Fiancé Is Cheating — Pay Attention To These 15 Signs

“My fiancé is cheating on me.” This is a realization that sets you up for a world of pain and hurt. The fact that the man you loved, respected, and trusted so deeply that you wanted to spend your life with him chose to betray you can be a shattering blow that can leave you feeling upended. On the other hand, being accused of infidelity when innocent can be extremely hurtful for your partner and can seriously dent your relationship.

That’s why it’s critical to be doubly sure of what it is you’re dealing with before confronting your fiancé and straight up asking, “Are you cheating on me?” So, how can you tell if your fiancé is cheating on you? We bring you 15 signs that will confirm or assuage your suspicions with near certainty:

1. There are times you can’t reach your fiancé

Unexplained absence is the first warning sign of cheating in relationships. While you and your partner don’t have to (and shouldn’t) be joined at the hip at all times, in a serious relationship that is headed for marriage, it’s only natural to be in touch throughout the day.

However, if suddenly, there are times you can’t reach your fiancé or don’t know of their whereabouts, it could be an indicator of your fiancé cheating on you. The red flags of cheating in this can be:

• Having no idea about where your fiancé is
• Being unable to reach them on the phone
• Your partner ignoring inquiries about their whereabouts
• This behavior becomes a pattern that repeats cyclically

2. His schedule has become unpredictable

A fiancé cheating on you would need to clear up time in their schedule for their transgressions. That would require a change in their schedule. Now, if your fiancé were to go out at the same time every week to meet his affair partner, it would raise questions.

To avoid that, your cheating partner may want to mix things up. The best way of doing that is to keep his schedule unpredictable. If your fiancé’s day went like clockwork in the past but now you just don’t know what his schedule would look like, it could be a cover for spending time with his affair partner. This is one of the oldest cheating techniques to avoid getting caught. Here is what an unpredictable schedule may look like:

• Putting in late nights at work
• Making impromptu plans with friends
• ‘Forgetting’ to tell you about a weekend engagement till the last minute
• Crashing at a friend’s place after a night of partying
• Going missing without a reasonable explanation

Related Reading: Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 11 Things To Think Over!

3. A cheating fiancé may seem irritable

How can you tell if your fiancé is cheating? Remember, cheating in relationships takes a toll not just on the betrayed partner but also on the betrayer. After all, it’s not easy to balance two relationships or sleep around on the sly while keeping the appearance of a happy relationship with the primary partner. This may make a cheating fiancé irritable.

This rather subtle shift is what led my friend Mandy to the “my fiancé is cheating on me” realization. Her fiancé, Jake, has been a cool-headed, Zen guy for as long as we’ve known him. However, just weeks into their engagement, he started snapping at Mandy often and seemed irritable whenever he was around her.

The behavior didn’t make sense to her at all. So, she started digging around and discovered that Jake had been having an affair with a coworker since before their engagement. She dumped her cheating fiancé promptly. While the road to recovery from this grueling heartbreak was tough, Mandy says she is better off without him.

4. Inexplicable changes in your sex life

Different people can offer different answers to what is cheating in a relationship. However, if there is one form of cheating that remains absolutely unambiguous it is sexual infidelity. If your partner has been sleeping with someone else, it will reflect in the changes in your sex life. These can include,

• A decreased interest in sex
• A heightened sex drive
• A change in sexual behaviors wants, and desires

If there are no other factors to explain these changes, the way your partner behaves in your intimate moments could amount to physical signs of infidelity.

5. A changed relationship with the phone points to your fiancé cheating on you

It’s no secret that in this day and age, one doesn’t have to step out of their home to cheat on a partner. A smartphone and internet connectivity is all it takes to carry out a full-blown affair right under your nose. A fiancé cheating on you will invariably use his phone to stay connected to his affair partner and this will lead to some unmistakable cell phone cheating signs.

If you’re wondering how to catch your partner cheating, pay attention to the changes in phone habits. Here are a few tell-tale indicators to look out for:

• Changing the phone password often or password-protecting certain apps
• Keeping the phone face down
• Keeping the phone angled away from you
• Spending way too much time texting
• Stepping out to attend certain phone calls
• Spending an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom with the phone

6. Evasive body language is among the physical signs of infidelity

A cheating partner will be wary of getting caught and this will reflect in their body language around you, especially when they see you after a rendezvous with their affair partner/person they’re cheating with. Since you know your fiancé well, it should be hard to spot these physical signs of infidelity:

• Not making eye contact
• Avoiding hugging you
• Shying away from greeting you with a kiss
• Being shifty and on edge

These behaviors may prompt you to ask, “Are you cheating on me?” However, I recommend that you wait until you’ve figured out how to prove infidelity before you have that conversation.

Related Reading: 15 Signs He Is Fantasizing About Someone Else

7. Your fiancé seems emotionally distant

No matter how slick the cheating methods, infidelity invariably takes a toll on the emotional intimacy between a couple. An unfaithful partner will not be able to connect with you the same way he did before. If you are wondering, how can you tell if your fiancé is cheating, pay attention to the emotional connection between you two.

If your fiancé has suddenly started acting emotionally distant and aloof, it is one of the clearest red flags of cheating. A Reddit user who was pregnant when she found out that her fiancé had been cheating on her also experienced this emotional distance in her relationship. “I noticed he was first off like two weeks ago after we came home from my friend’s place after hanging out. He seemed distant but I just chalked it up to him being tired, but then he continued to be a little distant.

“When I got into our home the kitchen hadn’t been cleaned from what was obviously a romantic dinner and when I got to the bedroom the sheets were a mess and a woman’s lingerie was on the floor by the door. And his pants and their shoes were in the hallway very obviously hastily taken off on the way to our shared bedroom, our shared bed, our shared everything, and OUR sacred place.”

8. Fun and banter seem to have vanished from your relationship

The toll of a partner’s cheating methods is felt deeply in the dynamics of the relationship. If your fiancé is cheating on you, he will struggle to connect with you like before. As a result, you may notice that fun and banter in the relationship seem to be depleting. Here is what it may look like:

• He doesn’t laugh the same way when you crack a running inside joke
• Those days when you’d have pillow fights and then peel over with laughter are a thing of the past
• He doesn’t fight with you over the last slice of pizza or the remote
• There are no pillow talks about everything and nothing
• You don’t spend lazy weekend afternoons joking, laughing and talking

Instead, perhaps, your fiancé now spends all his time on his phone or mindlessly binge-watching stuff on the internet. Even when you try to engage with him, you’re met with disinterest or a hostile attitude.

Related Reading: Online Affairs Reshaping The Idea of Fidelity In Modern Marriage

9. His finances don’t add up

At a time when you’re planning a wedding, it’s only natural that you’d both save up and direct resources toward the big day and your life together. However, if your fiancé’s finances begin to look shaky without any apparent reason, it could be one of the undeniable red flags of cheating.

After all, infidelity costs money — booking hotel rooms, going out on dates, buying presents, and so on. So if you’re wondering how to catch your partner cheating, paying attention to his finances may be a good starting point. Here is what to look out for:

• Frequent cash withdrawals
• Bank statement
• Credit cards or bank accounts kept hidden from you
• Dipping into savings to meet expenses

10. He starts needing a lot of personal space

How can you tell if your fiancé is cheating? A sudden need for space is among the behaviors that signal infidelity. If your fiancé has a new romantic interest, he’d want to spend more and more time with her — such is the nature of a blooming romance. The only way he can do that is by being away from you. That’s why, a sudden need for space in the relationship. Now, there is nothing wrong with needing personal space but if your partner suddenly requires too much of it, it’s a cause for concern.

My cousin, Ishika, who moved to Boston to live with the man she was engaged to learned this the hard way. “Amay was a doting partner for as long as we were in a long-distance relationship and could only spend a couple of weeks together at a time. Despite the distance and the different time zones, he made an effort to stay connected. We’d have virtual dates, call each other several times a day, and text as often as possible.

“However, after I moved in, his attitude changed completely. He’d get annoyed by the things he once found adorable and constantly told me to leave him alone. It felt bizarre at first, but now that I know my fiancé is cheating on me and has a parallel relationship going with a married woman he can’t be with, it’s all starting to make so much sense,” she says.

Related Reading: 13 Uncommon Signs of Cheating People Wish They Hadn’t Ignored

11. Your fiancé gets defensive if asked questions about their changed behavior

Picture this: Determined to figure out how to prove infidelity and get your fiancé to admit to his cheating ways, you decide to ask him questions about the changes you have been noticing in his behavior. However, you just cannot manage to get a straight answer from him. Instead, he gets defensive and responds with counter-questions like,

• Why is that important?
• Why do you want to know?
• Why are we talking about it now?
• Do you not trust me?
• We’re getting married. Is this the level of trust you have in me?

Gaslighting a partner into thinking that they’re crazy to even suspect infidelity is one of the classic cheating techniques used to get away with one’s transgressions. If your fiancé resorts to it, they may not just be guilty of cheating but also manipulating you.

12. Criticism and judgment have replaced love and affection in your relationship

How can you tell if your fiancé is cheating, you wonder? Forget looking for sneaky cheating techniques or tangible proof, you can pick up the scent of infidelity in your relationship from your partner’s attitude toward you.

• Has your loving and affectionate fiancé suddenly become critical of you?
• Does he find faults with everything you do?
• Do you find it hard to recall when was the last time he appreciated something you did?
• Is he always making snide remarks about your appearance, career, and life choices?

This shift in his attitude could be because he has fallen into the comparison trap. Just like a child enamored by a new toy, perhaps, he, too, is so taken by his new romantic interest that everything you do pales in comparison.

13. He doesn’t talk about the future as enthusiastically

The “my fiancé is cheating on me” realization may begin to dawn on you if along with other signs, he no longer seems excited by the prospect of your shared future together. If your fiancé has another sexual partner or is emotionally invested in someone else, it’s only natural that the idea of spending his life with you won’t bring him joy.

Remember the widely popular interview clip from then Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s engagement interview. In response to the reporter’s question Charles says, “Whatever ‘in love’ means.” Well, we all know how that panned out and why. When there is another woman in your fiancé’s life, it’s no wonder the idea of a future with you will make him feel trapped or stifled rather than enthusiastic and joyous.

Related Reading: Gut Feeling He’s Cheating, No Proof? 31 Signs Your Instincts Are On Point

14. He is not as excited about the wedding as you

If you have been wondering, “How can you tell if your fiancé is cheating?”, notice how he talks about your upcoming wedding. If the burden of planning the entire thing has fallen squarely on your shoulders and your fiancé couldn’t be any more bothered by the details than he’d be if he were attending a stranger’s wedding, there is a distinct possibility that he has checked out emotionally.

The presence of another woman is one of the most plausible explanations as to why a man who proposed to you would suddenly seem so uninterested in his upcoming nuptials.

15. You feel he is second-guessing his decision to marry you

Cheating in relationships alters the couples’ connection at a very fundamental level. In light of it, it’d be no surprise if your cheating fiancé begins to rethink marrying you. He may,

• Float the idea of postponing the wedding
• Make innuendos about the futility of marriage
• Ask you if you feel ready to get married
• Say he doesn’t feel ready for marriage

Yes, this could be the result of pre-wedding jitters. But when accompanied by other signs your fiancé is cheating on you, this is a pretty solid indicator that your suspicions might be true.

How To Deal With A Fiancé Cheating On You

If you can relate to all or most of the signs listed above, there is no point racking your brains over how to catch your partner cheating. While you may not have any substantive proof, these signs all but confirm your suspicions. I’m sorry that you find yourself in this position because there is no easy way out of this. Coming to terms with the fact that your fiancé has been cheating on you can be heartbreaking, devastating, and absolutely crushing.

Upon discovering that her fiancé was cheating on her with her best friend, a Reddit user had this to say: “Even thinking about it my heart is breaking, I feel like I’ve been gaslit for years and I feel like I’m going crazy, We get married in a week from now and I feel like I’ve been wasting my time and I don’t know what to do.”

Related Reading: 12 Excuses To Cheat Men Usually Come Up With

I can imagine you share her agony and confusion about where to go from here. To help you make sense of your confounding emotions, here are a few tips on dealing with a fiancé cheating on you:

• Gather proof: First of all, no matter how relatable you find these signs of a cheating fiancé, don’t go by just these or your gut feeling. Even if both are spot-on, it gives your fiancé a chance to gaslight you and get away with his transgressions. So, before you do anything else, gather tangible proof of his infidelity
• Have a conversation: Once you have proof, go ahead and ask the question you’ve been dying to: are you cheating on me? Give your fiancé a chance to explain himself and put forth his side. As hard as it may be, listen patiently and talk calmly. If you need to, take some time to process the blow of being cheated on before you confront your fiancé. No good can come of a conversation if tempers are flaring and you’re both just yelling and screaming at one another
• Decide what you want: Based on the nature of the infidelity, your fiancé’s response upon being confronted, your emotional and financial state, and any other relevant factors, decide whether you want to stay and give your cheating fiancé another chance or move on
• Seek help: Irrespective of what you decide, you will need help to work through the emotional turmoil of being cheated on. I strongly recommend seeking professional help. Depending on whether you choose to stay with your fiancé or part ways, this can be either couples therapy or individual counseling. A skilled mental health professional can help you acknowledge your emotional wounds and deal with them the right way. If you’re considering getting help, Bonobology’s counseling services are here for you
• Focus on healing and self-care: To recover from the trauma of being cheated on, you need to prioritize yourself. Above all else, focus on healing and practice self-care. This can be in the form of journaling, exploring new hobbies, following your passions, or learning to put yourself and your needs first

I hope you now have adequate insight into how can you tell if your fiancé is cheating on you and what to do if your worst fears come true. Dealing with the blow of infidelity is never easy but you can get through it. Just take it one day at a time.

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“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,” said William Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. And we wholeheartedly agree with him. While love may be an oft-repeated word, it is a complicated emotion. From the ancient Greeks to the modern Tinder generation, everyone has been puzzled by love. We believe love isn’t just about matters of the heart but also of the mind. And there are many psychological facts about love that can prove this and baffle us completely!

So, what is the equation of love and psychology facts? We’re not talking about right-swiping and online dating, but about deeper conversations and long-term relationships that have the power to heal us from within. In this article, we will explore 31 such intriguing psychological facts about relationships that will help us realize how much of our minds are affected by love. So, let’s dive in…

31 Intriguing Psychological Facts About Love

It’s amazing how love can change people. And we’re not talking about magical love potions. But you may have seen your coworker lost in her thoughts and zoning out during an important presentation at work, only to whisper in your ears later that she had been smitten by her date the previous day. Or you may have been amazed at how your teenage brother, who used to splurge recklessly on his video games, now saves the last bit of his pocket money to treat his new girlfriend. Or you may have witnessed the magic of love in your own life too!

Related Reading: 21 Differences Between Love And Infatuation

Yes, love is a powerful emotion. And it can make people do crazy things. It can also turn the most hard-hearted person into a ‘sucker’ for romance. So, what is it that makes people fall in love? Is love any different in a long-term relationship? Does love make you heal faster from ailments? What’s the connection between love and psychology facts? We have answers to many such strange queries that you may have about love — the emotion that drives the world. So, here are some of the most amazing psychological facts about relationships:

1. Humans aren’t wired to be monogamous

Science has proved time and again that no matter how much we love, humans aren’t supposed to be monogamous. In fact, a study suggests that humans have evolved to appear socially monogamous as it is more convenient to raise babies that way.

2. Men say “I love you” first

One of the most interesting love psychology facts is that men express or show their love more quickly, even though women are deemed more emotional and wired to fall in love easily. No, we’re not the ones saying this, researchers are.

3. Love is similar to OCD

One of the most fascinating psychological facts about love is that it’s almost similar to OCD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder in a relationship. Now, OCD is apparently marked by a decrease in serotonin levels. A study has proved that people who are in the initial stages of romantic love tend to have similar levels of serotonin as OCD patients! This is also one of the weirdest love psychology facts.

Related Reading: 6 Reasons Why Chocolate Makes Relationships Sweeter

4. Love has 3 components

It was Robert Sternberg who, in his triangular theory of love, stated that human love is basically the sum total of 3 components, namely: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. This is another one of the interesting psychological facts about relationships.

5. People newly in love have high cortisol levels

Perhaps one of the most fascinating love psychology facts is that love can stress you out. A study has proved that people who are in the initial stages of love have significantly higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol (which the body produces to prepare it for dealing with stressful situations). But when the same people are sure about the stability of their relatively healthy relationships, the body ends up having lower levels of cortisol.

6. Men take 8 seconds to fall in love

A study on who falls in love faster gave researchers surprising results. It proved that men apparently were the ones who fell in love at first sight more often and took a little over 8 seconds to fall in love. Aren’t such fascinating love facts surprising in equal measure?

Related Reading: Dear Men, This Is The ‘Right Way’ To Handle Your Woman’s Mood Swings

7. Men find women in red more desirable

Here is another one of the fascinating facts about psychology of love: merely a color can make a man fall for a woman! Multiple studies have shown that men tend to find women dressed in red far more attractive than women decked up in other colors. Recent research has further put a stamp on this result, proving that red increases the perceived attractiveness of women who are otherwise deemed attractive too.

8. Women mostly don’t marry their soul mates

Don’t we love the tales of high-school sweethearts celebrating their 30-year anniversaries, surrounded by their kids? Well, the reality may not be as rosy! A study by AOL Living suggested that most women felt their husbands weren’t their soulmates. This is one of the saddest psychological facts about relationships.

Related Reading: Recognizing Soulmate Energy- 15 Signs To Watch Out For

9. Love acts like a painkiller

One of the strangest facts about psychology of love is that it is literally a painkiller. A Stanford University study showed that people, when administered mild doses of physical pain while being shown photos of their romantic relationship partners, tended to feel less pain. So, when you don’t have a painkiller at home, try some love instead!

10. Love is like cocaine

One of the most baffling psychological facts about love is that it almost acts like a drug. Multiple studies, including one by researchers at Syracuse University, have proved that love produces a sense of euphoria very similar to what people feel when they are high on cocaine. So, we can definitely say you get high on love!

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11. You can control your intensity of love

Well, love makes us do strange things, doesn’t it? But what if we tell you that we can control how much we love a person? A study has shown that humans are able to control their love for others, for instance, by considering all the negative or toxic traits of the person.

12. Sense of humor begets love

So, we thought ‘sense of humor’ was a run-of-the-mill answer to, “What do you like in men?” Well, it turns out, not just women, a sense of humor, perhaps is a trait that even men want in their partners. Research suggests that humor in a romantic relationship increases the love quotient by leaps and bounds. This is one of the fun facts about psychology of love.

Related Reading: What Is A Dry Sense Of Humor?

13. A loving partner helps you heal, literally

Researchers at the Ohio State University Medical Center have proven that having a partner who shows they care heals wounds twice as fast compared to having a partner who’s aggressive. So, when we say love helps you heal, take our word for it.

14. The ‘out of my league’ factor is for real

A study has proved that most people date based on their own self-worth. Yes, it’s strange but true that people in the dating pool don’t go for those they deem ‘out of their league’. Well, usually

Related Reading: Twin Flame Connection – Definition, Signs And Stages

15. ‘Love at first sight’ isn’t a myth

One of the fascinating facts about psychology of love is that the concept of ‘love at first sight’ exists. Studies have proved that people do fall in love at first sight, provided they love the other person’s physical features and personality traits. Additionally, people are also attracted to similar traits and reciprocity.

16. Eye contact can actually make you fall in love

The role of eye contact in romantic love has been the subject of many studies, including the 1970 study conducted by Zick Rubin. But a more recent experiment by Dr. Elaine Aron has proved that eye contact plays a major role in two people falling for each other. So, yes, gazing into each other’s eyes may make you fall head over heels in love with one another.

17. Love makes you do silly things

So, ever done something really crazy, like drunk-dialing your crush at 3 am? Here is one of the most amazing facts about love that will help put such actions in perspective. Apparently, love makes you do not just silly things but also act somewhat recklessly. This is all because the part of the brain that makes you aware of the outcomes of various actions, the amygdala, is apparently deactivated to some extent when you’re in love. Don’t believe us? Well, studies say so too!

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18. Your approach to love depends on your attachment style

Multiple studies have shown that the way you love your partner depends on your attachment style or your childhood experiences with your parents or caregivers. Your attachment style (and there are many forms of attachment styles), in fact, determines how you resolve conflicts and how you approach both sex and romantic love.

19. Your mom may know more about your love life than you

A study with university students as subjects proved that the parents and roommates of the students predicted the outcomes of their relationships more accurately than they did. Furthermore, the observers’ predictions were more realistic, while the students themselves were hopeless romantics who viewed their love lives optimistically.

Related Reading: Love Vs Money: Choosing Love Over Materialism

20. Your sweat may hold the key to love

One of the amazing facts about love is that the secret to attraction may lie in your scent or sweat! Yes, it’s true. When humans sweat, they release pheromones that attract a potential partner. Amazingly, a study also proved that homosexual men were more attracted to the scent of other homosexual men. Love sure is mind-boggling!

21. Love is all there is

A 75-year-long Harvard study proved something that only poets and writers have claimed till now. It showed that when people spoke of happiness, they almost always spoke about their experiences with love. This shows that humans prioritize love in their lives, even if they don’t reveal it.

Related Reading: Eternal Love: What It Is And Does It Really Exist?

22. The fear of love is a reality

As absurd as it may sound, there are people on this planet who fear love and the idea of falling in love. Yes, my friends, research shows that the fear of love exists. Philophobia is an actual term that describes such a situation. It is a mental health condition that prevents people from falling in love. In fact, it is one of the many phobias surrounding love and sex.

23. Love languages define how we love our partners

Psychologist Gary Chapman was the one who suggested the idea of the 5 ‘love languages’ that define how we give and receive love. These love languages are:

• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service
• Physical touch
• Gifts
• Quality time

With time, people have also started accepting many other love languages, such as the sixth love language, ‘feeling known’. This proves the connection between love and psychology.

Related Reading: Love Can Change Your Life Around And Make You Happy

24. Kissing your love interest provides greater satisfaction in relationships

Kissing, one of the most definite acts of love, doesn’t just indicate foreplay or affection. Multiple studies on kissing have proved how significant it is in strengthening the bond between partners and increasing relationship satisfaction. Apparently, kissing also improves health.

25. You can literally die from a broken heart

Yes, this might make you cry! It turns out that people can actually die of a broken heart. Apparently, broken heart syndrome is a reality. Often, people who lose their loved ones end up dying of stress-induced cardiac arrests within the first few weeks of the tragedy. This also has a scientific term: Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy.

26. Love hormones help you bond

It is common knowledge that the brain releases love hormones, which bring about positive emotions. Apart from the ‘happy hormone’ dopamine, the ‘cuddling hormone’ oxytocin too has a major role in ‘love’. In fact, these brain chemicals strengthen romantic bonds between partners. However, a recent study has proved that oxytocin may actually help people recover from cognitive ailments such as dementia.

Related Reading: Here’s Why Making New Memories is Important

27. People fall in love only if they want to

Yes, on the one hand, it seems as if love controls us, while on the other, surprising as it may seem, we may actually be able to control when and how we fall in love. Talk about baffling psychological facts about love! A 2021 research by Jin Zhang and his colleagues proved that ‘love at first sight’ could be caused by a person’s “desire and readiness” to fall in love.

Now, this may sound like something straight out of a Black Mirror episode, but love can actually give you the power to predict your partner’s actions. How? Well, you see, love activates the mirror neurons of the brain, which help you anticipate your romantic partner’s actions. Research has shown this too. This explains why some couples can finish each other’s sentences. This also shows the intriguing bond between love and psychology.

29. Love improves your physical health

A study proved that people in love tend to have 12% more chances of having a healthy heart, compared to those who aren’t. Now, isn’t that a mind-numbing fact? So, fall in love to ensure your well-being!

Related Reading: Is Unconditional Love In A Relationship Really Possible? 12 Signs You Have It

30. True love lasts

No, true and lasting connections aren’t the figments of the imagination of romance novelists. A study by researchers at Stony Brook University proved that the brain activity of people in long-term relationships, who had been in love for years, was the same as those who were newly in love. This is one of the most amazing facts about love that can reinforce your belief in a happily-ever-after.

31. The brain can take its own sweet time to make you fall in love

People apparently feel romantically attracted to others based on activity in particular areas of the brain. While this may take a few minutes for some, for others, it may take longer. And this has been proved scientifically.

So, we hope, through our list of 31 psychological facts about love, we’ve been able to explain the strange relationship between love and psychology! It’s true, these weird but true and interesting facts about love may make you think twice before claiming you love someone, or even make you ponder over the complex functions involved in making someone fall in love. But they will also challenge your brains, as you try to make sense of these love and psychology facts.

These amazing facts about love are not just fun to read but are also proof that the world is, after all, a strange place, with many of its weird secrets hidden from us. So, go ahead, fall in love, and be in love…and explore this fathomless emotion. We wish you all the best in your journey.

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