33 Signs Of Micro-Cheating — Is Your Partner Guilty Of These?

There I was, cruising along in what I thought was a healthy relationship when I began to notice some things that seemed out of place. It all began with little moments — a suspicious glance at a phone screen, too-friendly an exchange on social media. At first, I shrugged them off, thinking I was just being paranoid. But as they kept piling up, I couldn’t ignore that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Suddenly, what once seemed harmless started to feel like a breach of trust, leaving me questioning the very foundation of my relationship. And in chasing down these questions, I discovered 33 signs of micro-cheating.

From innocent likes on Instagram to secretive text messages, the signs of micro-cheating seemed to be everywhere, lurking in the shadows of our seemingly perfect partnership. Each subtle gesture or hidden interaction planted seeds of doubt, slowly eroding the trust I had worked so hard to build. That’s when I realized how insidious micro-cheating can be.

If, like me, you have been consumed with a niggling suspicion that your partner has been doling out attention to others, even if they haven’t crossed the lines of fidelity in the relationship, pay heed. In this article, we will delve into these 33 signs of micro-cheating with insights from Dhriti Bhavsar (Master’s degree in Psychology, with specialization in Clinical Psychology), who specializes in relationship counseling, premarital counseling, LGBTQ issues, and breakups.

What Is Micro-Cheating In A Relationship?

Micro-cheating refers to a series of seemingly minor actions or behaviors that, when viewed collectively, suggest a breach of trust or emotional adultery within a romantic relationship. You could even call it soft cheating. Unlike traditional forms of cheating, which typically involve physical intimacy with someone outside the relationship, micro-cheating revolves around subtle actions that blur the boundaries of emotional commitment and loyalty.

In response to the question, what is micro-cheating, Dhriti says, “These actions can vary widely, ranging from secretive text messaging and flirting with others on social media to keeping certain aspects of one’s personal life hidden from their partner. Other examples include maintaining a close emotional connection with an ex-partner, frequently lying about one’s whereabouts or activities, and downplaying the seriousness of interactions with someone outside the relationship.

Related Reading: I Can’t Forget My Husband’s Affair And I Feel Tormented

“While each action may seem innocent or trivial on its own, the cumulative effect can erode trust and intimacy within the relationship. Micro-cheating can lead to feelings of betrayal, jealousy, and insecurity, ultimately damaging the foundation of trust upon which healthy relationships are built.

“It’s important to note that perceptions of micro-cheating can vary greatly between individuals and couples, and what may be considered harmless behavior to one person could be seen as a serious breach of trust to another. Open communication and mutual understanding of boundaries are essential in addressing and resolving issues related to micro-cheating within a relationship.”

Why micro-cheating is harmful to a relationship

Micro-cheating, though seemingly innocuous, can have profound implications for the health and stability of a relationship. Through a series of subtle actions and behaviors, it erodes the trust, intimacy, and emotional connection between partners. From fostering jealousy and insecurity to undermining open communication, the harmful effects of micro-cheating can quickly escalate, posing a significant threat to the foundation of any relationship.

  • Erosion of trust: Micro-cheating undermines the trust between partners, as it involves secretive or deceptive behaviors that suggest a breach of commitment
  • Emotional disconnect: Engaging in micro-cheating can lead to emotional distancing between partners, as one or both individuals may become more invested in interactions outside the relationship
  • Jealousy and insecurity: Constant suspicion of micro-cheating can breed jealousy and insecurity, creating a toxic environment that hampers the growth and stability of the relationship
  • Communication breakdown: Instead of openly addressing concerns and issues within the relationship, micro-cheating often leads to a relationship breakdown, as partners may feel uncomfortable or reluctant to discuss their feelings and boundaries
  • Diminished intimacy: Over time, the accumulation of micro-cheating behaviors can erode the intimacy between partners, making it difficult to maintain a strong emotional connection and sense of closeness
  • Risk of escalation: While micro-cheating may start as innocuous or minor, it can escalate into physical infidelity if left unchecked, potentially leading to irreparable damage to the relationship

Related Reading: 11 Things That Happen In Relationships Without Trust

33 Signs Of Micro-Cheating — Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

In the often-confusing world of modern relationships, subtle gestures can sometimes speak volumes. In the realm of micro-cheating, for instance, seemingly harmless actions can hint at deeper issues brewing beneath the surface. From innocuous likes on social media to secretive text exchanges, these silent red flags may appear insignificant at first glance.

However, these micro-cheating signs serve as silent warnings, urging us not to dismiss the subtle erosion of trust and intimacy within our relationships. In this section, we uncover 33 signs of micro-cheating that demand our attention and vigilance, for ignoring them could have far-reaching consequences on the fabric of our partnerships.

1. Keeping their phone screen hidden or facing down when you’re around

You know that moment when you’re relaxing with your partner, and suddenly their phone disappears from view, screen facing down like it’s hiding some top-secret intel? Yes, that move might seem innocent, but it could be an ever-so-subtle red flag. Are you just imagining things or are they really hiding something from you? If you can relate to this, you might be experiencing micro-cheating.

Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Bad Communication In A Relationship

Dhriti nails it when she talks about how this little act of phone hiding can stir up some serious doubts: “It’s not just about keeping their screen hidden from you; it’s about what it represents — a lack of openness. You start questioning if there’s some covert conversation happening that they’d rather keep under wraps. And frankly, that kind of uncertainty doesn’t exactly build a cozy nest of trust and intimacy.”

So, while we’re all for respecting each other’s privacy, it’s worth paying attention when they start hiding their phone from you. Because when the lines of communication start getting blurred, it’s not a good sign for the future of your relationship. After all, honesty and transparency in relationships are the MVPs. And this kind of secrecy could be one of the earliest signs of disloyalty in a relationship.

2. Frequently deleting text messages or call logs

Is deleting messages cheating? Well, maybe not in the traditional sense, but it definitely tiptoes into shady territory. Sure, we all delete messages from time to time, whether it’s to clear up space or just tidy things up. But when it becomes a regular habit, it starts to feel like the first of many red flags. It’s like they’re sweeping their digital footprint under the rug, leaving you wondering what they’re trying to hide.

And let’s be real, that kind of secrecy doesn’t exactly scream “trust me.” It plants seeds of doubt in your mind, making you question why they feel the need to constantly wipe the slate clean. Especially if those messages are with certain people or happen at odd hours. So, while deleting messages might not be a full-blown betrayal, it definitely feels like a form of soft cheating.

Related Reading: Micro-cheating: Meaning, Examples, Signs, And Ways To Deal

3. Exchanging flirty or suggestive comments with others on social media

Social media is like the modern-day watering hole where we all gather to shoot the breeze and share cat memes. But when those innocent chats start taking a turn into flirting territory, well, things start to get a bit dicey. Hitting that heart button or leaving a cheeky comment every now and then isn’t the end of the world. But when the lines between harmless banter and something more start to blur, the relationship starts to become complicated.

Nobody wants to feel like they’re playing second fiddle to their partner’s online admirers. It’s a subtle jab to the heart, leaving you wondering where you stand in their eyes. So, while social media might seem like a playground of endless possibilities, it’s worth keeping an eye out for those micro-cheating signs.

4. Liking and commenting on attractive photos of someone else excessively

Is your partner liking and commenting on sexy photos of hot girls or guys? And are they claiming that it’s just harmless social media banter? If they do this often, it’s worth questioning their actions and their commitment to the relationship.

Just think about it — every time your partner double-taps on someone else’s pic, it’s like a little virtual flirtation behind your back but visible to the digital world. You may start doubting yourself or wondering if you’re overreacting.

Dhriti Bhavsar, counseling psychologist

“But you can’t help feeling the way you feel. And you have to be honest with yourself. If you feel like your partner’s behavior is inappropriate and counts as social media cheating, then you have to let them know. Keeping this to yourself will only harm your relationship and your own mental well-being,” she adds.

5. Having secret social media accounts or profiles

Now let’s talk about another one of the digital signs of disloyalty in a relationship – keeping a secret account under wraps. It’s true that we’re all entitled to our privacy and digital space, but when a secret profile enters the equation, it’s time to raise an eyebrow or two. Why the need for a secret online alter ego? Is your partner hiding something from you? Unless they’re working for the CIA on some secret covert operation, you would be hard-pressed to think of a valid reason for someone to hide a second social media account from their partner other than flirting online.

Remember how Breaking Bad’s Walter White, for all his book smarts, couldn’t account for his second cell phone, no matter how hard he tried? In truth, he was not having an affair, but the lying was pretty obvious and was clearly taking a toll on his marriage. Like it or not, this is one of the subtle signs of soft cheating.

6. Hiding relationship status on social media

This brings us to another sneaky online game — hiding your relationship status on social media. Sure, some folks prefer to keep their personal life on the down-low, and that’s okay. But when your partner’s relationship status suddenly goes MIA on their profile, it’s like they’re waving a red flag in the digital breeze.

Why the sudden need for secrecy? Are they keeping their options open while keeping you in the dark? While privacy is important, even in committed relationships, it’s worth considering the impact of hiding one’s relationship status on social media. Because when your partner’s keeping their status under wraps, it’s most likely one of the signs of cheating in a relationship.

Related Reading: Complicated relationship: I love him but I am attracted to someone else

7. Secretly texting or messaging someone

Is talking to another girl cheating? Is texting another guy cheating? Navigating the murky waters of fidelity in modern relationships can feel like trying to find your way through a maze blindfolded. But here’s a golden rule to follow when in doubt over when texting is cheating: if your partner is hiding their conversations from you like they’re the secret ingredient in grandma’s famous recipe, then yes, they might be treading into micro-cheating territory.

Dhriti hits the nail on the head with this one when she says, “Imagine stumbling upon a hidden stash of private chats that you never even knew existed — talk about a gut punch. It’s like finding out your partner’s been living a double life in their DMs. It leaves you wondering many things: Are you imagining things? Are you overreacting? Are they actually cheating on me? It leaves you feeling foolish and betrayed, both of which are feelings triggered by infidelity.”

Having a secret texting buddy can most certainly count as cheating

So, while maintaining a little mystery can be intriguing, it’s worth considering the impact of keeping secrets in a relationship. Because when communication starts happening in the shadows, the waters of your relationship quickly become murky and treacherous.

8. Downplaying the seriousness of interactions with someone of the opposite sex

Having friendships and professional ties with all sorts of people is part of life’s rich tapestry. But when your partner starts getting close to someone of the opposite sex and keeps shrugging it off with a casual, “Oh, they’re just a friend”, there’s a good chance they’re micro-cheating. Think about it — if those interactions were as harmless as a kitten playing with yarn, why the need to downplay them? Is there something else going on in these interactions, like moving from friends to lovers?

It’s like they’re trying to sweep the elephant in the room under the rug, leaving you to jump to conclusions. So, while it’s totally cool to have friendships across the gender spectrum, it’s worth considering the impact of downplaying those interactions. Because when your partner is treating you like you’re as inconsequential as yesterday’s leftovers, it’s a micro-step in the direction of infidelity.

Related Reading: What To Do When Your Husband Is Talking To Another Woman

9. Frequently mentioning another person in conversations, especially one you’re unfamiliar with

Let’s dive into a common relationship scenario: your partner can’t seem to stop mentioning a specific someone in every conversation. It’s like they’ve got this one person on their mind 24/7, and it’s starting to raise some questions. Now, it’s normal to chat about friends, coworkers, or acquaintances – that’s just part of the social fabric. 

However, when your partner’s making this one individual the star of the show every time you talk, it’s definitely cause for concern. Because when your partner keeps putting them in the spotlight, it might be a sign that they’re attracted to this person. People in relationships are not immune to developing crushes, especially if the relationship has lasted longer than a couple of years. This behavior can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship.

10. Keeping details about their interactions with others vague or evasive

When your partner consistently skirts around the details of their interactions with others or starts sidestepping questions and offering vague responses, it’s a signal that they might be involved in an emotional affair. Dhriti says, “Why the cloak-and-dagger routine? It’s as if they’re carefully avoiding certain topics so as to keep a certain aspect of their life concealed. While respecting each other’s boundaries is important, it’s crucial to recognize the impact of keeping things too vague. Because when your partner shrouds their interactions in mystery, it chips away at the trust and openness that form the foundation of your connection.”

Related Reading: The Top 10 Causes Of Relationship Problems – And Why They Fail

11. Maintaining a close emotional connection with an ex-partner

Is talking to an ex cheating? Well, the answer depends on the nature of the interactions and the degree of transparency one maintains with one’s partner about these interactions. In the absence of clear boundaries, this can be a slippery slope.

When your partner still talks to their ex, it can evoke feelings of discomfort and insecurity within the current relationship. Maintaining emotional intimacy beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship may signal unresolved feelings or a lack of commitment to the current relationship, and a definite sign of emotional cheating.

12. Comparing you unfavorably to someone else, especially in terms of attractiveness or intelligence

When your partner compares you unfavorably to others, particularly in areas like attractiveness or intelligence, it can cause low self-esteem and create significant strain in the relationship. While constructive feedback is important for personal growth, comparisons that highlight perceived deficiencies or shortcomings can be damaging and hurtful. And favoring someone else over you is analogous to cheating. 

Related Reading: How Do You Know If Your Girlfriend Still Loves Her Ex

13. Going out of their way to spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex

Is talking to another girl cheating? Is hanging out with another guy cheating? Well, if your partner constantly seeks out opportunities to spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex, it can be a sign that something’s up between the two of them. Actively prioritizing one-on-one time with someone outside the relationship is among the 33 signs of micro-cheating in a relationship.

Dhriti says, “When your partner’s always opting for one-on-one time with someone else, it’s a recipe for disaster — think jealousy, mistrust, and that nagging feeling of not being enough. You start wondering why they’re choosing solo hangouts over quality time with you. It’s like, aren’t you enough to satisfy their social cravings? When you’re feeling left out and neglected, it’s easy to question why your presence isn’t hitting the spot for your partner’s social needs.”

Related Reading: 12 Things You Should Never Compromise On In A Relationship

14. Sharing personal or intimate details with someone outside the relationship

Let’s say, you and your partner get into an argument. Instead of resolving things with you, they chose to vent to an ex or someone they’ve befriended online, in a bid to get their sympathy. This can often be one of the early warning signs of cheating in a relationship. When your partner shares personal or intimate details with someone (other than the people in their inner circle, of course) outside of your relationship, it is not only a breach of trust and boundaries but also an indicator that your partner prefers to lean on this other person for comfort in times of distress. It’s a blurred line between emotional cheating and friendship.

15. Hiding their whereabouts or activities from you

When your partner conceals their whereabouts or activities from you, it can provoke feelings of distrust and anxiety. That’s because it leads to uncomfortable questions: what have they got to hide? Are they with someone else? Secrecy about one’s whereabouts or activities is among the micro-cheating signs that warrant examination.

Rleated Reading: 18 Real Painful Complications Of Having An Affair With A Married Man

16. Flirting with others in your presence

What is micro-cheating if not a string of behavior that can be dismissed as harmless but can trigger insecurity in the relationship? Take flirting with others right in front of you — classic micro-cheating move. Dhriti explains, “Watching your partner flirt with others can sting. It can make you feel betrayed and inadequate, wondering why they need attention from others, especially when you’re right there. Plus, it’s super embarrassing and humiliating to see your partner act this way in front of you.”

17. Excessive secrecy about their online activities

When your partner exhibits excessive secrecy regarding their online activities, it can provoke feelings of suspicion and mistrust within the relationship. There’s a high chance that their secretive behavior aims to cover up acts of infidelity. Consistent secrecy is one of the 33 signs of micro-cheating as it suggests a desire to conceal potentially inappropriate or concerning behavior from you.

on cheating

18. Using dating apps “just for fun” or “out of curiosity”

When your partner uses a dating app under the guise of innocent curiosity or entertainment, it undoubtedly amounts to micro-cheating in a relationship even if they haven’t met or interacted with anyone on the app. Using a platform explicitly designed for romantic or sexual connections indicates a willingness to cross that line. It can also point to an emotional affair on their part.

Related Reading: 17 Signs Your Partner Is Having An Online Affair

19. Sharing inside jokes or intimate moments with someone else

Sharing inside jokes or intimate moments with someone else can undermine the special connection and intimacy between you and your partner. These shared moments are often the foundation of a strong bond in a relationship, built upon trust, understanding, and exclusivity. When these moments are shared with someone outside of the relationship, it can create feelings of betrayal and insecurity and can weaken the foundation of your relationship.

Dhriti says, “It can be deeply hurtful for the partner witnessing this behavior. They may question why their partner feels the need to share personal or intimate moments with someone else, especially if these moments were meant to be cherished and kept between them. It may provoke feelings of exclusion and alienation the same way actual cheating can.”

20. Sending or receiving provocative photos or messages

Sending or receiving provocative photos or messages is among the glaring micro-cheating signs that indicate that your partner may be on the cusp of crossing the lines of fidelity in a relationship if they haven’t already. Discovering such intimate interactions can be heartbreaking and hard to come to terms with. You may be left wondering why you are not enough for your partner.  

Related Reading: The 9 Truths About Lifelong Extramarital Affairs

21. Showering someone else with praise or compliments

Offering compliments or praise to someone else that they don’t offer to you can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment within the relationship. These expressions of admiration and validation are essential for maintaining a sense of connection and intimacy between partners. When one partner directs these compliments elsewhere, it can create emotional distance and sow seeds of doubt and insecurity.

22. Frequently bringing up the topic of sex with someone outside the relationship

Frequently bringing up the topic of sex with someone outside the relationship indicates that your partner harbors this desire, which, in turn, suggests an inherent lack of contentment with the physical intimacy in the relationship. It may leave you wondering whether your partner fancies someone else. It’s not hard to see how this can evoke feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and inadequacy. Dhriti says, “When your partner expresses a desire for sexual intimacy with someone other than you, it can bring up feelings of betrayal and rejection.”

Related Reading: Spirituality helped me heal my relationship with a cheating partner

23. Secretly engaging in activities that they know would make you uncomfortable

Secretly engaging in activities that they know would make you uncomfortable is also micro-cheating behavior and can severely undermine the trust and respect within a relationship. It amounts to a disregard for healthy boundaries in a relationship and can create feelings of betrayal, resentment, and insecurity.

24. Downplaying your relationship status when interacting with others

If your partner says you two are dating but not exclusive, when, in fact, you have been in a committed relationship for some time, they are essentially hinting at their availability to explore a romantic connection with the person they’re talking to. This is the very definition of micro-cheating.   

Related Reading: Why do i always think my girlfriend is cheating

25. Keeping gifts or souvenirs from past relationships

Even if you’re uncertain about the answer to the question, “Is talking to an ex cheating?”, you can, at least, be certain that keeping mementos is. Keeping gifts or souvenirs from past relationships can deeply unsettle the trust and emotional security within your current partnership. These tokens are often imbued with sentimental value, representing shared experiences and emotional connections with former partners. When you choose to retain them, it may signal unresolved attachments or a reluctance to commit to your current relationship fully.

For the partner discovering this behavior, it can evoke feelings of insecurity and betrayal. They may question why you feel the need to hold onto reminders of past relationships, especially if they have made efforts to create a sense of exclusivity and significance in your partnership. It may provoke feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, as they wonder if they measure up to the memories and emotions associated with these keepsakes,.

Dhriti Bhavsar, counseling psycholigst

26. Fluctuations in mood or behavior when receiving messages from a particular person

If you’re still wondering, “What is micro-cheating?”, watch your partner’s mood. Fluctuations in mood or behavior when receiving messages from a particular person can be a significant cause for concern within a relationship. Your reactions to communication from this individual may signal underlying emotional attachments or conflicts that warrant exploration and resolution.

Related Reading: Feeling Insecure in Relationship? Signs and Ways to Overcome It

27. Constantly seeking validation or attention from others

Constantly seeking validation or attention from others can profoundly impact the dynamics of a relationship, leading to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy within the partnership. A persistent need for external affirmation may suggest underlying insecurities or unmet emotional needs that require attention and understanding. In a committed relationship, they should be looking to you for this attention and understanding. Looking to other people for validation is a form of emotional infidelity.

soft cheating
Seeking validation from outside your relationship can be a form of infidelity

28. Confiding in someone else about personal issues instead of you

Let’s talk about a subtle yet significant form of micro-cheating: confiding in someone else about personal issues instead of turning to one’s partner. Sharing struggles and vulnerabilities is a key part of emotional connection in a relationship. So, when your partner seeks support from others instead of you, it signals a lack of emotional connection in your relationship.

Dhriti explains it well: “When you find out your partner is leaning on someone else for emotional support, it can feel like a gut punch. You start questioning why they don’t come to you, especially if you’ve always been there to listen and comfort them. It can stir up feelings of insecurity and jealousy, making you wonder why you’re not the go-to person for their deepest thoughts and feelings.”

Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why Intimacy Among Couples Fades And How You Can Prevent It

29. Keeping certain aspects of their life hidden from you

It’s a sneaky form of micro-cheating if your partner keeps certain parts of their life hidden from you. This isn’t just about maintaining privacy; it’s about deceitfully withholding information. Openness and transparency are the building blocks of a strong connection. 

When your partner starts hiding things, it sends up relationship red flags. It’s like they’re creating a barrier, making you question what’s really going on and why they feel the need to keep secrets. This kind of behavior can stir up feelings of mistrust and insecurity, making you wonder what else they might be hiding. 

30. A sudden interest in self-improvement or appearance for someone else’s benefit

A sudden interest in self-improvement or appearance for someone else’s benefit can deeply unsettle the dynamics of your relationship, as it suggests a shift in focus away from mutual growth and connection towards external validation or approval.

Think about it. If your partner starts hitting the gym more, updating their wardrobe, or picking up new hobbies, and it’s all seemingly to impress someone else, it raises some eyebrows. It suggests they’re investing time and energy into gaining approval or attention from outside your relationship, which can be pretty unsettling.

Related Reading: What Are The Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior In A Relationship?

31. Making plans or commitments with someone else without consulting you

When your partner makes plans or commitments with someone else without consulting you, it could be a form of micro-cheating. This isn’t just a minor oversight — it can really undermine trust and respect in your relationship. You see, collaboration and mutual decision-making are key to feeling like a team. So, when your partner leaves you out of the loop, it sends a message that your input doesn’t matter. This can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment in the relationship.

Dhriti says, “Discovering that your partner is making decisions without you can be really hurtful. It makes you question why they feel the need to exclude you, especially when you’ve always valued transparency and making decisions together. Such behaviors can make you feel left out and lonely, as you wonder why you’re not considered an essential part of the process.”

32. Receiving late-night or secretive phone calls

Receiving late-night or secretive phone calls can deeply disrupt the trust and security within a relationship. The timing and secrecy surrounding these calls can evoke feelings of suspicion and betrayal, as they suggest that your partner has something to hide, such as an emotional affair.

is deleting messages cheating
Late-night phone calls or texts with someone other than your spouse is a red flag

33. Being defensive or evasive about their interactions with specific person/people

Becoming defensive or evasive when questioned about their interactions with a specific person or people can significantly strain the trust and openness in a committed relationship. It indicates a reluctance to engage in transparent communication and may suggest that your partner is hiding something or feels uncomfortable discussing their interactions.

Related Reading: Is your husband having an emotional affair? Look for these 10 signs

How To Deal With Micro-Cheating In A Relationship

Dealing with micro-cheating in a relationship can be emotionally challenging, yet addressing these issues head-on is crucial for fostering trust and maintaining a healthy partnership. By implementing effective communication strategies, setting clear emotional boundaries in the relationship, and prioritizing the rebuilding of trust, couples can confront the impact of micro-cheating and work towards strengthening their bond. Here’s a guide of practical steps and strategies to deal with soft cheating in a relationship, empowering couples to navigate through difficulties and emerge with a deeper understanding of each other:

  • Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize your emotions and how the micro-cheating behavior has impacted you. It’s essential to address your feelings before attempting to discuss the issue with your partner
  • Communicate effectively: Have an honest and respectful conversation with your partner about your concerns. Express how their actions have made you feel without blaming or accusing them. Use “I” statements to convey your emotions and concerns
  • Set clear boundaries: Establish boundaries together regarding what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in your relationship. Clearly define what constitutes micro-cheating and discuss the consequences of crossing these boundaries
  • Listen to your partner: Allow your partner to explain their perspective and intentions behind their actions. Practice active listening and try to understand their point of view without interrupting or judging
  • Seek professional help: Consider couples counseling to navigate through the challenges caused by micro-cheating. A neutral third party can provide insights and strategies to address underlying issues and rebuild trust
  • Rebuild trust: Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. Be patient with each other and demonstrate commitment to the relationship through consistent actions. Reinforce positive behaviors and openly communicate about progress and setbacks
  • Focus on the relationship: Invest time and energy into strengthening your bond as a couple. Engage in activities that foster intimacy, connection, and mutual respect. Prioritize quality time together and reaffirm your commitment to each other
  • Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is an essential component of moving forward from the pain caused by micro-cheating. Let go of resentment and past grievances, and focus on building a healthier and more resilient relationship together
  • Reassess the relationship: Reflect on whether the relationship is meeting both partners’ needs and whether both individuals are committed to addressing issues and improving communication. If necessary, consider seeking additional support or reevaluating the future of the relationship

Dealing with micro-cheating requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges together. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing the relationship, couples can overcome the impact of micro-cheating and strengthen their bond in the process.

Key Pointers

  • Micro-cheating is a series of seemingly minor actions that collectively suggest a breach of trust within a relationship
  • It can have profound implications such as erosion of trust, breakdown in communication, and loss of intimacy
  • Signs of cheating include secretive phone use, flirting with others, sharing intimate moments with someone else, among many others
  • By implementing effective communication strategies, setting clear boundaries, and prioritizing the rebuilding of trust, couples can tackle micro-cheating and work towards strengthening their bond

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, dealing with these 33 signs of micro-cheating in a relationship requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to open communication. By acknowledging feelings, setting clear boundaries, and prioritizing the rebuilding of trust, couples can address underlying issues and strengthen their connection. Remember, navigating through challenges like micro-cheating is an opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. With mutual effort and dedication, couples can overcome obstacles, reaffirm their commitment to each other, and build a resilient and fulfilling relationship.

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Ask Our Expert

7 Therapist-Approved Things To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

Wondering what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you? There is never an easy answer to this question. I experienced this first-hand while trying to help my best friend, Sarah, deal with the blow of infidelity. Sarah had been in a relationship with her boyfriend, Alex, for three years. She thought they had a strong connection, but lately, a nagging feeling had taken root in her mind. Alex had become distant, often sneaking away to take calls and spending less time at home.

One day, Sarah stumbled upon a suspicious text message on his phone, which confirmed her worst fears. Her world came crashing down when she realized that Alex had been cheating on her. In that moment, Sarah felt a rush of conflicting emotions: betrayal, anger, and heartbreak. She felt lost and didn’t know how to deal with a cheating boyfriend. All I could do was be there for her, as a shoulder to cry on, a strong pillar of support. The pain and angst were hers to endure.

In watching her ordeal up close, I realized that while discovering infidelity is devastating, with the right approach, you can find clarity and decide the best path forward for your well-being. To understand what the right approach is, I spoke to psychologist Anita Eliza (MSc in Applied Psychology), who specializes in issues like anxiety, depression, relationships, and self-esteem. Read on to learn what to do if your boyfriend cheats on you and make informed decisions about your relationship.

How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating: 9 Tell-Tale Signs 

Unless you have caught your boyfriend red-handed or his infidelity is out in the open, before addressing the question of what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you, you need to be sure that infidelity is at play. Gut feeling he is cheating, but proof to back it up can be an agonizing place to be. You are constantly walking on eggshells, with a knot in your stomach, because you don’t know what’s true and what’s an act he’s putting up to cover his tracks. 

Confront him without concrete evidence, and you risk your suspicions being invalidated and dismissed off-hand. Besides, if he is cheating, your suspicions and inquiries will sound the alarm bell, telling him to be more cautious. On the other hand, if he is not cheating and you’ve misread the situation completely, the accusations can cause serious damage to your bond. 

Now, the question is, how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Anita shares 9 tell-tale signs of a cheating boyfriend in a relationship to watch out for: 

Related Reading: Expert Lists Out 9 Effects Of Cheating In A Relationship

1. There is a sudden emotional distance 

That gut feeling, “My boyfriend is cheating on me”, that you have been wrestling with is likely stemming from the emotional distance you have been feeling. Anita says, “You can feel the emotional distance creeping between you and your partner even if you can’t put a finger on it.” 

Now, a person may act emotionally distant because of factors like stress or problems in their professional or personal life. However, these things are discussed in a relationship. If there is no plausible reason behind this change in this behavior, being emotionally distant could be one of the signs of a cheating boyfriend in a relationship.

2. A changed relationship with his phone 

How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you, you ask? The biggest clues of infidelity often are hidden in a person’s relationship with their phone. Being excessively protective of and dependent on one’s phone is a tell-tale sign of cheating. Here is what cell phone cheating signs may look like: 

  • He carries his phone with him wherever he goes, even if it is to answer the door 
  • If you live together, you may notice that he spends most of his free time texting rather than paying attention to you 
  • If you don’t, you may find his phone busy at all hours 
  • Or notice that he is online, but not texting you or even replying to your texts 
  • Changed passwords, password protecting certain apps, or locking certain chats are also red flags you mustn’t ignore 

3. He is irritable and short with you 

If your boyfriend is always in a mood, irritable, and ready to snap, no matter how hard you try to smooth things over, it could be because the turmoil of leading a double life is getting to him. He may be reeling under cheating guilt or struggling to figure out a way forward—should he come clean to you, should he end the affair, or should he end things with you to be with the other woman? After all, it’s not easy carrying out two relationships and keeping it all on the down-low.  

4. An inexplicable change in routine 

In any intimate relationship, partners know each other’s routines rather well. Even if you don’t live together, you’d know what time your boyfriend typically wakes up, he leaves for work, goes to the gym, has coffee, takes a shower, eats his meals, and so on. Perhaps, there was a time when you shared pictures and updates with each other throughout the day. 

“While it’s natural for the frequency of exchanges to die down as you become more settled in a relationship, partners still are in the know of what’s going on in each other’s day and life and can predict with fair accuracy what the other must be up to at a given hour. It’s a sign of intimacy in a relationship,” explains Anita. Now, if his routine has suddenly become so unpredictable that you have no idea where he is or what he is up to for hours (or days) on end, it is a glaring red flag that indicates your boyfriend is cheating. 

5. He is being secretive 

So, what’s new in your boyfriend’s life? Who has he been hanging out with? How has work been for him? Which coworkers is he getting along with these days? If you don’t know the answer to these questions because he is being excessively secretive and responds to your questions with vague responses like, “Oh, I was out with just some friends” or “Having drinks with people from work”, you’re right to be worried. The “my boyfriend is cheating on me” concern doesn’t take hold in a vacuum. 

Related Reading: How To Make A Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad – 11 Surefire Ways

6. You have caught him in a lie

If your boyfriend keeps coming up with excuses for why he cannot do something or spend time with you or why he was incommunicado and his stories don’t add up, it’s likely that he has been lying to you. When a person is telling the truth, their version of events stays consistent. But if they lie to hide their tracks, chances are they will forget certain details and offer new versions of the story every time you bring it up. If you have caught him in a similar lie, not once but several times over, it’s one of the telling signs of a cheating boyfriend in a relationship. 

7. He gets defensive when questioned 

When you do catch him a lie or ask him questions about a certain situation over and over again, a cheating boyfriend will get defensive, and come up with retorts like, 

  • “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”
  • “You’re acting crazy. I won’t put up with it.” 
  • “How can you doubt me?”
  • “Why would I lie?”

This, for him, is the easiest way to wriggle out of answering difficult questions that may expose his cheating, lying ways. 

Related Reading: 11 Feelings One Goes Through After Being Cheated On

8. A change in libido 

Yes, it’s perfectly natural for sexual desire to ebb and flow, and patterns of sexual intimacy to change in a relationship. However, these changes are gradual and feel organic. If, on the other hand, there is a sudden and drastic change in your boyfriend’s libido—he can’t seem to get enough of you for some days, and then, shows no interest in being intimate for days or weeks, it could be because the dynamics of his other relationship are impacting how he behaves with you. 

You may even notice that there are times when you’re physically intimate but he feels so distant and aloof. So, if you want to know how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating, pay attention to how you both connect in the bedroom.  

9. You’re no longer a priority

A successful relationship is based on the premise of both partners making an effort to prioritize each other. Yes, there are times when work, social commitments, and domestic responsibilities get in the way but you do find a way to snap out of it and reconnect. However, if your boyfriend is cheating on you, he may no longer make that effort. Instead, you may notice that he prioritizes anything and everything above you. He’s always too busy to meet or talk because, 

  • He’s been busy at work 
  • He’s spending more time at the gym 
  • He needs to hang out with the guys 
  • He is visiting his family over the weekend
  • He is attending his coworker’s cousin’s kid’s bar mitzvah

The fact is that he is unavailable because he needs to carve out more and more time to spend with the other woman. A part of you knows it. That’s why there is a voice in your head that won’t stop saying, “He is cheating on me.”  

What To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You: 7 Therapist-Approved Things To Try

“He cheated on me. What should I do?” Allow us to help. Discovering that your boyfriend is cheating on you can be one of the most painful and devastating experiences in a relationship. The betrayal trauma and feelings of hurt and confusion can be overwhelming, leaving you grappling with thoughts like what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you or how to get over a cheating boyfriend.

However, it’s important to remember that you are not alone and there are steps you can take to cope with this situation and move forward healthily. From staying calm and thinking things through to seeking support and setting boundaries, below are seven strategies that might answer your question, “He’s cheating on me. What should I do?”:

Related Reading: Emotional Adultery: I’m Cheating On My Wife, Not Physically But Emotionally

1. Stay calm and think through

“My boyfriend cheated on me. I don’t know what to do.” Can’t figure out how to deal with a cheating boyfriend? Well, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions when you suspect or discover that your boyfriend is cheating on you. You may feel angry, hurt, betrayed, or even be in denial. However, taking a step back, acknowledging and processing your emotions, and assessing the situation before reacting is important.

You deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued in your relationship.

– Anita Eliza, counseling psychologist

Pay attention to your gut feeling and any red flags that may have been present in the relationship. If you have concrete evidence of infidelity, such as messages or receipts, gather it in a safe place. Before making any decision, it’s crucial to ensure that your “He’s cheating on me” suspicions are based on facts. According to Anita, below are a few signs that your boyfriend cheated on you:

  • Behavior change: Sudden changes in behavior such as being overly sensitive or distant can be a red flag
  • Lack of transparency: If he is suddenly guarding his phone, email, or social media accounts, it could indicate he is hiding something
  • Increased secrecy: He may start going out more frequently without providing a clear explanation or become defensive when questioned about his whereabouts
  • Lack of interest: He might lose interest in activities or topics that used to be important to both of you, showing disengagement from the relationship
  • Emotional distance: Your relationship may be less intimate with fewer expressions of affection or interest in spending time together
  • Unexplained expenses or gifts: You may notice unfamiliar charges on credit card statements or find items that seem like gifts from someone else
  • Changes in appearance: Suddenly paying more attention to grooming, dressing differently, or wearing perfume might be an attempt to impress someone else

If you find these signs relatable, you may be contending with the dilemma of what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Anita says, “Take a deep breath and try not to panic. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of hurt anger and sadness without judgment. Allow yourself to feel and process these emotions. Take time to analyze the relationship and identify any warning signs or underlying issues that may need attention for personal growth.”

It’s essential to approach this whole “he cheated on me and I’m gutted” situation with a clear head to avoid making hasty decisions you might regret later.

Related Reading: Painful Message To A Cheating Boyfriend: 50 Brilliant Ideas

2. Talk about the infidelity

Once you have gathered your thoughts and evidence, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your boyfriend. Choose a time when you both feel comfortable and calm and can speak openly without interruptions or distractions. Be honest about your feelings without being accusatory. Avoid the blame game. While your boyfriend’s actions were wrong, focusing on self-blame or revenge won’t help you heal.

Before making any decision, ensure that your suspicions are based on facts.

To those wondering, “He’s cheating on me. How do I confront him about it?”, Anita advises, “Have a chat with your boyfriend about what’s bothering you. Be honest and try to understand each other’s feelings without blaming.” According to her, here is how and what you should say:

  • Express how you feel using “I” statements, such as “I feel deeply hurt and betrayed by what has happened.”
  • Avoid blame-shifting or making accusations, and instead focus on specific behaviors that have raised red flags
  • Express your concerns and feelings and the impact of his actions on the relationship
  • Be prepared for his reaction — denial, anger, or a tearful confession, are all possibilities

This conversation might not provide all the answers, but it’s a crucial step toward healing and moving forward. Also, make sure you give your boyfriend a chance to explain. Listening can provide insight into their behavior and help you understand the full picture. This doesn’t excuse cheating, but it can offer clarity on underlying issues in the relationship.

Related Reading: 10 Smart Ways To Punish A Cheating Boyfriend Emotionally

3. Get support

If you’re still wondering how to deal with a cheating boyfriend, then there’s one easy answer – lean on your support network. Going through the pain of infidelity can be isolating and overwhelming, which is why having your best friend or loved ones around is important.

For example, Sarah says just my being there for her, hearing her out, and giving her a safe space to vent, helped her feel less alone and lost. Anita agrees and advises, “Try talking to someone you trust like a friend or a family member about what’s going on. Reach out to them for comfort, validation, and perspective during this difficult time.” We agree. It’s important to:

  • Not bottle up your emotions. Try journaling to process your feelings
  • Reach out to your support system or network of trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support and a listening ear
  • Consider joining a support group for people who have been cheated on
  • Join online communities or forums to connect with others who’ve faced similar situations

When trying to figure out what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you, consider sharing your experience with those who care about you. “It can help release feelings of resentment and anger toward your boyfriend for your peace of mind and well-being,” adds Anita.

4. Set boundaries

“I was cheated on by my boyfriend. What should I do?”, “My boyfriend is cheating on me. How do I deal with it?” Constantly asking yourself such questions? Well, first of all, set some rules and boundaries. If you decide to stay in the relationship, it’s important to set clear boundaries to rebuild trust and ensure both partners understand each other’s expectations moving forward. Anita says, “Decide what you will and will not tolerate in your relationship. Let your boyfriend know what you need from him to feel better.”

Establishing boundaries might look like:

  • Open and honest communication
  • Transparency with phones and social media
  • Regular check-ins about feelings and relationship dynamics
  • Agreements on acceptable behavior and deal-breakers
  • Limited or no contact with the affair partner

It’s also important to establish consequences if these boundaries are violated. Remember, you have the right to feel safe and respected in your relationship.

Infographic for What To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You
7 Therapist-Approved Things To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

If you decide to end the relationship

However, if you decide to walk out of the relationship, then the boundaries will differ but, either way, establishing the same is crucial for your nervous system and overall well-being. Anita explains, “It can provide space for the innocent partner to gain clarity, rebuild their self-esteem, and protect themselves from further emotional harm. However, they must communicate their boundaries assertively and stick to them for their mental health.”

In this case, you also need to figure out how to get over a cheating boyfriend. For that, Anita strongly recommends establishing a no-contact rule with your cheating partner. She says, “Consider distancing yourself from your ex-boyfriend to give yourself space to heal and move on. This is especially important in the initial stages of separation to allow for processing of emotions and healing without constant reminders of the betrayal.”

Related Reading: 7 Tips To Forgive A Cheating Boyfriend

5. Take care of yourself

“I was cheated on by my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do!” Well, taking care of yourself is probably the most important tip on how to get over a cheating boyfriend. A cheating partner can trigger feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, damaging your mental health. You are bound to lose trust in him. During this difficult time, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Anita recommends practicing self-love and engaging in self-care activities that bring you joy and comfort. Focus on:

  • Eating healthy meals
  • Reconnecting with loved ones
  • Exploring hobbies you enjoy
  • Physical exercise
  • Meditation and mindfulness
  • Spending time in nature

She says, “Shift your focus toward setting new goals, pursuing your passion, and envisioning a bright and fulfilling future for yourself.” Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, like excessive drinking or engaging in risky behaviors, to cope with the emotional turmoil of betrayal trauma. Instead, focus on your overall well-being. Engaging in activities that promote self-love and self-care can aid in healing.

Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem Behaviors In A Relationship

6. Seek professional help

Struggling to figure out what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Therapy can help. Whether you decide to stay or move on, individual therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A licensed marriage or relationship coach can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and help you navigate your conflicting emotions and make decisions about moving forward.

Anita explains, “A qualified therapist can offer a safe and non-judgmental space for the individual to explore their emotions, process the betrayal, and gain clarity about their needs and values. Therapy can help them understand the impact of the infidelity on their self-esteem, trust issues, and future relationships. Additionally, it can guide them on setting healthy boundaries, coping with grief and loss, developing resilience, and empowering them to make informed decisions about their future.”

If you decide to stay in the relationship, she recommends consulting a couples therapist to “help both of you talk about your feelings and figure out how to move forward”. A relationship coach can help both of you work through the underlying issues that may have contributed to the infidelity. They can facilitate conversations that might be too challenging to navigate alone and help restore the lost trust if you both choose to stay together.

On Infidelity

Our expert shares a real-life example of how therapy can help a person get over their cheating boyfriend

Mira, a young woman from Bengaluru, was shocked when she discovered that Ron, her partner, had been having an affair with a coworker. As a woman deeply rooted in her value system and religion, Mira initially struggled with feelings of shame and embarrassment about the situation, fearing judgment from her family and community.

However, with the guidance of a sensitive therapist who understood her cultural background and religious connections, Mira found solace in the teachings of her faith, which emphasized the importance of forgiveness and compassion. Drawing strength from her religious scriptures, she chose to confront Ron about his infidelity and seek closure for herself.

Through self-reflection, Mira embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Today, she embraces her identity as a strong and resilient woman who understands and knows how to live independently.

Related Reading: Forgiving My Partner’s Infidelity To Reclaim My Life

7. Decide what’s best for you

Here is a crucial tip on what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you — think about what you want. Anita explains, “Take some time to think about whether you want to stay in the relationship or not. Trust your feelings and do what’s best for you. While doing so, consider the 10-10-10 principle. Whatever decision you take, think about how you will feel about it 10 minutes, 10 months, or 10 years later. This would include your plans for the coming future and how they might affect your decision.”

Take the time to weigh the pros and cons of staying in or leaving the relationship. She explains, “Identify whether the partner is truly remorseful of the behavior of cheating and is willing to rectify it through his actions or is it a pattern that he tends to follow.” Consider your capacity to forgive and rebuild trust. Below are a few questions you should ask yourself before making a decision:

  • Do I still love my partner despite the betrayal?
  • Is my partner willing to change and address the issues that led to him cheating?
  • Can I see a future where I feel safe in the relationship?

Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay in the relationship or end it is yours alone. Consider your values, needs, and boundaries when making this decision. Your boyfriend cheated on you. Don’t feel pressured to stay in a relationship that no longer serves you. You may have thoughts about wanting to seek revenge and that’s okay, but acting on them will likely prolong your pain and hinder your healing. Below are a few tips that can help, whether you decide to stay or leave:

If you decide to stay

  • Commit to open communication and transparency.
  • Continue therapy or counseling to address underlying issues.
  • Give yourself time to heal and rebuild trust gradually.

If you decide to leave

  • Focus on your healing and self-care.
  • Lean on your support system for emotional support.
  • Consider therapy to process the breakup and betrayal.

Anita says, “Healing from the experience takes time and patience. Therefore, take each step at your own pace and be kind to yourself throughout.” Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel respected and valued.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How can I stop my boyfriend from cheating on me?

Unfortunately, you cannot stop another person from doing something they want to. The best you can do is work toward building a healthy, wholesome relationship, build on the foundation of love, respect, and trust, and hope that your boyfriend will honor the commitment he has made to you.

2. Will he cheat again?

While the “once a cheater, always a repeater” adage doesn’t ring true for everyone, you cannot discount the possibility that a cheater may slip up again, unless they make the effort to change whatever unhealthy patterns led them to cross the line of fidelity in the relationship. Only by working on underlying issues that triggered the episode of infidelity can the risk be weeded out.

Key Pointers

  • Discovering infidelity requires you to stay calm, think through your emotions, and gather evidence before making any decision
  • Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about the infidelity, focusing on feelings without accusations to understand each other’s perspectives
  • Leaning on your support network and seeking professional help can help you deal with your boyfriend cheating on you
  • Setting clear boundaries and rules is essential whether you decide to stay in the relationship or end it
  • Prioritizing self-care and taking time to decide what’s best for you can help you heal and move forward, whether you choose to stay or leave the relationship

Final Thoughts

“My boyfriend cheated on me.” This realization can be devastating, but knowing what to do if your boyfriend cheats on you can empower you to take control of your life and well-being. Whether you choose to stay and work through the issues or to move on, prioritizing your mental health and self-love is essential. Keep in mind that you are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help you through this difficult time.

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Ask Our Expert

How To Approach And Boost Romantic Relationships With Psychic Reading Leverage

In our turbulent and chaotic world, love emerges as a tranquil haven to take the burden off your shoulders and get a sense of fulfillment. Still, building trusting, supportive, and caring relationships requires time, dedication, and effort. That’s why many people seek assistance in strengthening their romantic bond from various external sources. Among an array of practices and techniques, psychic reading is currently gaining tremendous traction. 

Though some might view it skeptically, this method can be a viable tool to nourish and enhance love affairs. In this post, Nebula psychic gurus bring to light how harnessing psychic readings can foster and sustain their romantic bond. So let’s cover potential advantages and their practical applications across relationship dynamics in detail.

Transformative Power of Psychic Reading to Cherish Love: Nebula Psychic Overview

Every relationship goes through its share of ups and downs. When a couple finds themselves wading through rough waters or even the overwhelming stillness of stagnation that threatens the idea of a happily ever after, leaning on a bigger power for answers and direction can be extremely comforting for many. That’s what psychic readings offer. Let’s take a closer look at how the process works: 

Related Reading: The Secret Of A Marriage That Lasted 67 Years

Self-awareness as a vital starting point

No matter how much a person invests in relationships, nothing works out without a profound self-understanding. In plain words, individuals should deal with their emotions, feelings, and behaviors, before boosting romantic bonds. Psychic reading serves as a flawless instrument to reveal our true selves given overarching personality traits, hidden desires, latent fears, and unresolved issues. 

Through meticulous exploration of the deepest subconscious mind, Nebula psychic readers help disclose the cross-cutting patterns hindering matters of the heart. This self-knowledge caters to addressing recurring issues and approaching relationships in alignment with inner aspirations. And voila, you gain wishful clarity to develop healthy and strong connections.

  • Recommended Practices: Tarot reading, numerology, astrology, palm reading

Effective communication and conflict resolution as cornerstones

Support, trust, and respect are pivotal but the couple can’t cultivate these essentials when communication is poor. So to level up relationships effectively, active and honest dialogues lay the foundation. Leaning on the symbolism and wisdom of stars, tarot card readers or astrologers might pinpoint weak communication areas and give useful guidance on avenues to bridge the gaps. 

Plus, a seasoned psychic reader can thoroughly scan past experiences to reveal the core reasons for difficult expressions of emotions and feelings. Commonly, this relates to the fear of judgment, rejection, or unacceptance. As a result, couples can create a comfortable and sympathetic environment to articulate and share what is on their minds. This, in turn, contributes to improving emotional interactions and reinforcing the inter-soul bond.

Related Reading: The 9 Crucial Stages Of A Long-Term Relationship

However seamless relationships are, avoiding conflicts is impossible. In fact, they testify to the couple’s craving to grow and improve. That said, arguments are not as vital as how partners resolve them and what conclusions are drawn. Psychic reading acts as the roadmap for navigating through the labyrinth of love challenges to a harmonious bond. 

Gifted with unearthly intuitiveness, psychics can accurately identify where disputes stem from and pitch efficient resolution guidance. Whether it be domestic conflicts or disparities in future planning, two in love will face the primary origin of the problem. Thus instead of beating around the bush and continuously returning to the issue, they will find long-term solutions.

  • Recommended Practices: Tarot reading, astrology, aura reading, mediumship

Two Facets Where Psychic Readings Bring Immense Value

Psychics can help people work through a whole spectrum of issues and find solutions that they may not be able to see on their own. In the realm of romantic relationships, though, the most important facets of psychic readings are: 

Related Reading: 15 Signs Of Emotional Detachment In Your Relationship

1. Mutual understanding

Looking in the same direction and understanding each other is the key to success if you yearn to build long-lasting relationships. A majority of conflicts start with inaptitude or the reluctance to put yourself in a partner’s shoes. Luckily, psychic readings can handle this by offering unique perspectives on the thoughts and feelings of the loved one. 

A holistic view of the partner’s emotional state and prevalent motivations can facilitate cultivating patience and empathy during the crisis period. Such knowledge will aid in preventing useless disputes and encourage mutual understanding, saving multiple relationships on the verge of breaking up.

Related Reading: 15 Ways To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

  • Recommended Practices: Tarot reading, clairvoyance, astrology, mediumship

2. Romantic intimacy 

It is not a secret that emotional intimacy and sexual attraction reduce over time. This can negatively influence other crucial aspects of relationships. Therefore, maintaining the flame of passion is imperative, and psychic readers can tackle this. By scrutinizing birth charts or interpreting the spread of tarot cards, they might excavate specific hindrances to romantic desire and suggest practical tips to restore the voltage between partners. 

Based on vibrations hovering around a couple, characteristics of zodiac signs, and natal charts, psychics might also advise fitting activities to renew the intimate bond. This will not only conduce rekindling passion but reconnect on a deeper level, entailing a vast boost of relationship quality overall. 

  • Recommended Practices: Tarot reading, numerology, astrology, 

Related Reading: Navigating The Complexities Of Consent In Modern Relationships

Final Thoughts

In the quest for balanced and fulfilled connections, psychic reading poses a potent solution. With a myriad of modalities for every preference, this practice promises to enhance established relationships or give hints to initiating a new fortunate love story. Whether you seek diligent self-reflection, mutual understanding, communication improvement, conflict resolution tips, or passion rebirth, an accomplished psychic reader will accommodate all your needs. So don’t waste a minute and dramatically revamp relationships right now!

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Ask Our Expert

How Long Should A Relationship Break Be? A Therapist Answers

Let’s face it. Relationships can be extremely overwhelming and draining at times. Especially when you and your partner are unsure of the way forward, need to gain clarity regarding your life goals, or simply need a break from each other to figure things out. But how long should a relationship break be to make things work? More importantly, are you sure your relationship will work for the better if you decide to take a break? Or are you wondering how to take a step back in a relationship and still be in touch?

In this article, we will explore such questions about relationship breaks and more, with the help of counselor Ruchi Ruuh (Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Psychology), who specializes in counseling for issues related to dating, infidelity, marital conflict, and divorce. We will also get a gist of the relationship break rules. So, let’s not wait any longer and dive straight in to find out if hitting the pause button on your relationship is a good idea and when…

What Does Taking A Break Mean In A Relationship

Studies by the Gottman Institute suggest taking a break to avoid or better manage and resolve conflicting situations in relationships may be a good idea indeed. In fact, such studies believe you can “love smarter” when you choose to take a breather to reassess the relationship, make the relationship work, or get back on track.

But what does taking a break mean in a relationship or imply for couples? Ruchi explains, “Taking a break means one or both people in the relationship deciding to step back from the romantic aspect of the relationship but maintaining some sort of limited communication. It can also mean spending time away from your partner but regrouping for just a designated amount of time periodically.” So, in a way, breaks offer temporary respite from relationship issues. 

Stepping back from a relationship can be tough

Can a break help a relationship?

So, now we know that breaks are normal and not such a big deal in relationships. But can a break help a relationship to grow or change in a positive way, or does it harm it in the long run? Do such breaks lead to stronger bonds? What are some valid reasons to take a break in a relationship? Ruchi offers a good look at how such breaks are beneficial to relationships:

  • A break allows both the individuals involved to seek and understand the relationship and assess the relationship dynamics and personal issues. It thus helps you find answers to questions such as, “Is your relationship healthy?”
  • It allows for personal growth, and partners can look for nurturing themselves individually
  • Taking a break can also help people in creating some sort of boundaries, be it physical or emotional, which might help them reevaluate the relationship, which wouldn’t have otherwise been possible
  • Breaks allow people to spend time gaining clarity about their personal goals, values, and needs and find out if they align with those of their partners’
  • Breaks also help people realize and address issues such as relationship instability that may cause the relationship to suffer in future
  • Breaks can help a couple go through the sudden changes of an uncalled-for long-distance relationship due to a job change or relocation

Related Reading: 25 Most Common Relationship Problems And Their Solutions

How Long Should A Relationship Break Be — A Therapist Reveals The Answer

Now that you have the answer to what does taking a break mean in a relationship, are you wondering, “How long should a relationship break last?” A Reddit user, who has taken a break in a relationship, narrates her tale, “My husband and I took a break for 7 months. It was helpful in some ways and damaging in others… in the end we both missed our life together and decided to be back together and we are still together. I can say, I wish I would have never taken the break… there were things that we both did while apart that was damaging to our relationship now. But on the other hand… what if we didn’t take a break? Maybe we would have never started to appreciate each other again…”

Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why Taking a Break in A Relationship is Healthy

In her case, the break was moderately long and lasted for months. Thankfully, it made both her and her husband realize the importance of their relationship. But how long do such breaks last really? And how long should a relationship break be for it to be impactful? Is there ‘a one size fits all’ timeline? 

Infographic on how long should a relationship break be
Breaks in a relationship

Ruchi says, “Breaks in relationships can last for a few days, weeks, or even months, and depends on quite a few factors. The main factor that determines the period of the break is the reason why a couple is seeking the break and their own needs and expectations from it.” She then goes on to differentiate between a few such cases:

1. A break to understand the complexity of the relationship – A few months

The answer to how long should a relationship break last can be tricky. A break that is intended to find out the root causes that are harming the relationship can last for several months. 

Ruchi says, “One of the reasons to take a break in a relationship is to ascertain the causes behind trust issues or difference of values, where a couple needs to sit down and explore the issue and address the concerns.” In such cases, both the partners may need ample time for self-reflection, therapy, or even speaking to confidantes, friends, and family. 

Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.

– Anne Lamott

2. Breaks for personal growth – A few weeks

A lot of people take breaks for personal growth, or to focus on themselves. Such breaks may be shorter. They may last for a few weeks. Ruchi says, “In such cases, people can go for a short solo retreat to explore themselves better before getting back with their partners.” 

Related Reading: Expert Tips – How To Reconnect After A Relationship Break

3. A break to deal with work-related stress – A few weeks to months

At times, as Ruchi says, “One of the reasons to take a break in a relationship may be to deal with work-related issues.” Such breaks may last anytime from a few weeks to months. They may even be longer, depending on the complexity of the work/project. 

My cousin, Andrea, faced a similar issue. She felt she could not juggle too many balls at once, and decided she needed time to handle a particularly stressful time in her professional life before rejuvenating her relationship with her husband.

4. Breaks to establish boundaries – A few weeks

If a couple is struggling with boundaries, it may consist of one person having the need for constant communication, which gets overwhelming for the other person. Ruchi says, “So, if the other person can’t deal with the communication overload, they may need enough time to get back into their shell and process their feelings. This can be a short break, after which the other person gets back with enough self-reflection and new ideas to enforce boundaries in the relationship.”

how long should a relationship break last
How long should a relationship break last?

5. Breaks to reconsider commitment – A few weeks to a couple of months

One of the reasons to take a break in a relationship could be the need to reassess the commitment. Couples with one partner in a perpetual commitment phobia can also take breaks. If you’re often left asking, “How long should a relationship break last?”, well, remember, in such cases, such breaks may last from a few weeks to a couple of months. 

So, both partners get enough time to re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether they wish to commit long-term. Ruchi says, “Such breaks should only end when both have decided whether they are confident to go ahead with the relationship or drift apart.”

Relationship Break Rules To Make It Work In Your Favor

Sharing her reasons for going on a relationship break, a Reddit user says, “My SO wasn’t ready to commit for long term without exploring his “bachelor” side. We were apart for 2 months, and he asked for me back after going on some dates and realizing I was the shit.

“Yes, I trust he didn’t do anything else, and even if he had, that was part of the understanding. There was never an obligation to resume the relationship, but we agreed it’s what we both wanted.”

Related Reading: How To Deal With Taking A Break In A Relationship – 7 Rules

So, you see, a break in a relationship without any intention can be meaningless. Ruchi says, “There’s no use of a break if you don’t know why you’re taking it and how it can help you.” So, one must be certain of the cause of such breaks.

Here are a few relationship break rules that Ruchi shares to make such breaks work, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. So, if you’re clueless about how to take a step back in a relationship and still make it work, read on:

  • Define the purpose of the break: It’s crucial to discuss the goals, concerns, needs, and expectations associated with the break, so that both understand and are on the same page
  • Set a timeline: It’s wise to not make the separation indefinite or ambiguous. Whether it should last for a week, a month, or 6 months, determine a timeline, as that will help you both gain clarity. Both partners would know when to regroup and talk about the future of the relationship
  • Set boundaries: It’s very important that you communicate to each other how you want to keep in contact during the temporary separation or break. For instance, set ground rules about communication ideas, like a phone call every other day, a good morning text, or video calls. Likewise, communicate whether seeing other people is allowed
  • Respect each other’s personal space and independence: While it’s important to maintain connection, you should also avoid excess communication or intrusiveness during the break. Let them pursue their personal goals and make sure that your boundaries are also respected
  • Avoid misunderstandings: If you decide to go no-contact for a long time, make sure that you’ve had an open communication about it with your partner. Also make sure they don’t misunderstand a temporary break as a breakup and seek romantic solace somewhere else. Avoid misunderstandings in a healthy way

Related Reading: 15 Signs You Need a Break From Relationship

  • Use the break for self-improvement: Work on personal growth and self-care. Try and achieve work goals, go on a holiday, seek therapy, spend time with friends, or pursue a hobby. But make sure you don’t waste the time the break offers
  • Seek emotional support: Often one partner is enthusiastic about a break, while the other isn’t. If you’re feeling left out, because this isn’t something you wanted, seek support from family, friends, or a therapist. Seek their perspective, guidance, and emotional support
  • Regroup: If needed, check on each other and regroup from time to time, even within the break, to see if things are going on track. Stay connected in some sort of way
  • Understand that the relationship might change after the break: Whether it’s a brief break or a long one, be aware that when the break ends, your values, thoughts, and priorities might change. Both partners should be ready for these changes to happen. The break may make you a better person or may make you take realistic decisions not based on emotions. Be ready to accept the change to avoid shock and take care of your mental health. You can opt for couples therapy if you want.
Relationship Advice

Key Pointers

  • What does taking a break mean in a relationship? It implies hitting ‘pause’ on the romantic aspects and taking time apart to focus on the bigger picture
  • A break in a relationship can make or break the relationship in the long run
  • How can a break help a relationship? By allowing for personal growth and the time and space to comprehend the relationship
  • How long should a relationship break be? It depends on the couple and their intentions
  • Some clear rules to be followed in relationship breaks are: defining the need for the break, being on the same page, setting boundaries, and avoiding misunderstandings

Relationship breaks can work like magic in some cases. But if not handled properly, they may lead to permanent cracks even in a healthy relationship, eventually leading to the relationship ending on a sour note. The success of a break depends on a lot of soul-searching and introspection. 

Blaming the other person for all the relationship issues isn’t going to work. Instead, pausing the relationship to realize the real issues plaguing the relationship can be beneficial. After all, what’s the point of a break if it doesn’t reveal a few things about you and the relationship. We hope, through this article, we have been able to answer your burning questions such as “How long should a relationship break be?” or “Do relationship breaks really help?” Remember, it’s eventually you and your partner who are to decide the terms and length of the break and how to take a step back in a relationship and still get back together.

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Experience a Romantic Weekend in Chicago

Planning the perfect romantic weekend doesn’t always mean jetting off to a far-flung destination. Sometimes, the most unforgettable experiences are right in your backyard. Chicago, with its stunning skyline and vibrant culture, offers countless opportunities for romance. From scenic bike rides along the lake to intimate dinners at award-winning restaurants, the city has everything you need to create cherished memories.

Imagine starting your day with a stroll down The Magnificent Mile, exploring historic sites and luxury boutiques. Lunch at a cozy spot like The Purple Pig, sharing small plates and savoring the moment, sets the tone for a day filled with love. As evening falls, the city’s romantic restaurants and cocktail bars with sweeping views provide the perfect backdrop for an enchanting night out. Whether it’s the charming Gold Coast area or a luxurious hotel stay, Chicago knows how to set the mood for love.

Planning Your Romantic Weekend in Chicago

Opt for a weekend in Chicago to explore breathtaking views, delicious food, and luxurious stays.

Choosing the Right Time to Visit

While Chicago charms in any season, the ideal times are spring (April to June) and fall (September to November). Mild temperatures and colorful scenery create a perfect romantic backdrop. Summer festivals and winter holiday lights also offer unique experiences. For fewer crowds and lower rates, consider a mid-week visit.

Related Reading: Travel For Two: Tips For Planning Exotic Couples Trip

Getting Around the City

Navigating Chicago is straightforward with its efficient public transportation. The “L” trains and buses cover most attractions. For a more intimate experience, rent bikes and ride along the Lakefront Trail. Taxis and rideshare services keep travel stress-free. Many luxury hotels, like those in the Gold Coast area, are centrally located, making walking a viable and scenic option.

Romantic Accommodations in Chicago

Exploring romantic hotels in Chicago adds an extra layer of charm to any weekend getaway. Whether you’re seeking cozy, boutique lodgings or lavish, luxury options, Chicago offers accommodations tailored to create unforgettable experiences for couples.

Boutique Hotels for a Cozy Stay

Boutique hotels provide an intimate and charming environment, perfect for a romantic weekend. Chicago Athletic Association transports guests to a centennial library with wooden bookshelves and fireplaces in The Drawing Room. Sip on your favorite drink and snack on a meal while soaking in the historical ambiance.

For a unique experience, check out the Hyde Park neighborhood’s literary-themed Sophy Hotel. Decorated with local art and bookish charm, it’s a perfect spot for a cozy, thoughtful stay. Another excellent choice is the Publishing House Bed and Breakfast. Nestled in the West Loop, it offers a warm, inviting atmosphere with gourmet breakfasts and personalized service.

Luxury Options for Ultimate Comfort

For those wanting ultimate comfort, Chicago’s luxury hotels offer top-tier amenities and romantic settings. The Four Seasons Chicago, located near Michigan Avenue, offers exclusive experiences like the Skylight Swim. Enjoy private access to a 50-foot indoor pool and jacuzzi, champagne, and canapés, making it an unforgettable night.

At the Park Hyatt, diners at NoMI Kitchen savor fresh American contemporary cuisine with stunning views of Lake Michigan. The window tables are among the city’s most romantic dining spots. The hotel itself is renowned for its luxurious rooms and impeccable service.

Another remarkable choice is The Langham, Chicago. This hotel features elegant, spacious rooms with floor-to-ceiling windows offering breathtaking views of the cityscape. Pay a visit to the Chuan Spa for rejuvenating treatments, adding a relaxing touch to your romantic weekend. Anchoring any romantic weekend in Chicago, picking the right accommodation sets the stage for creating lasting memories.

Activities for Couples in Chicago

Couples looking to ignite their passion will find an array of romantic activities in Chicago. From stunning architecture to intimate dining venues, there’s something for everyone.

Explore the City’s Architecture and Parks

Chicago’s iconic skyscrapers and breathtaking parks offer perfect settings for romantic strolls and memorable moments. Millennium Park, home to the famous Cloud Gate sculpture, provides scenic walking paths and art installations. For those who appreciate architecture, the Chicago Riverwalk showcases the city’s impressive skyline and historical buildings. Walking along the Lakefront Trail gives couples picturesque views of Lake Michigan and the city’s horizon.

Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why You Should Travel With Your Partner

Enjoy Intimate Dining Experiences

Chicago’s dining scene is rich with intimate venues perfect for couples. Geja’s Cafe, known for its cozy ambiance and four-course fondue dinners, has been a favorite for over 50 years. Couples can enjoy exquisite selections like beef tenderloin, lobster tail, and sea scallops. For French cuisine lovers, Bistro Campagne offers a warm interior and a charming outdoor patio, ideal for a romantic evening. A variety of Michelin-starred restaurants and rooftop eateries also provide unique dining experiences with stunning views of the city.

Take a Scenic Boat Tour

A scenic boat tour on the Chicago River or Lake Michigan offers couples unparalleled views of the city’s architecture and skyline. These tours allow an intimate setting while learning about Chicago’s history and landmarks. For a more romantic touch, evening cruises provide breathtaking views as the city lights reflect on the water. Whether it’s a daytime architectural tour or a sunset sail, a boat tour is a quintessential Chicago experience for couples.

Evening Entertainment for Two

Chicago offers many options for a romantic evening out. Enjoy fine dining, live music, or a comedy show for a memorable night with your special someone.

Related Reading: 27 Road Trip Games For Couples That Make Travel More Fun

Discover Jazz and Live Music Venues

Chicago’s jazz scene is legendary. One of my favorite spots is the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge. This historic venue, once frequented by Al Capone, boasts an intimate setting perfect for couples. For a modern twist, try Andy’s Jazz Club where talented musicians deliver electrifying performances nightly. If you’d rather have a diverse mix of genres, check out the House of Blues. Located near several romantic hotels in Chicago, it offers a vibrant atmosphere and a full dinner menu, making it a one-stop spot for both dining and entertainment.

Laugh Together at a Comedy Show

For those who prefer laughter, Chicago’s comedy scene won’t disappoint. The renowned Second City is a great place to start. Known for launching the careers of numerous comedians, this theater presents top-notch improv and sketch comedy. Another venue, Zanies Comedy Club in Old Town, offers an intimate setting with frequent performances by stand-up comedians. It’s a cozy place to share a night of laughter and create lasting memories.

Unforgettable Romantic Gestures

Creating memories through heartfelt gestures adds a special charm to any romantic weekend. Chicago offers numerous opportunities for expressing love in unique ways.

Stroll Along Lake Michigan at Sunset

A walk along Lake Michigan at sunset provides a breathtaking backdrop. The serene water, accompanied by the changing hues of the sky, creates an ambiance that’s both calming and romantic. Lakefront trails offer convenient routes for leisurely walks. For an added touch, consider visiting Millennium Park located nearby. Holding hands as you explore this iconic area amplifies the experience.

Related Reading: Tips To Travel On A Budget: Cheap Travel Hacks

Visit the City’s Iconic Observation Decks

Observation decks in Chicago offer unparalleled views of the city’s skyline and Lake Michigan. The Skydeck at Willis Tower and 360 Chicago at the former John Hancock Building provide sweeping views from staggering heights. Standing together while observing the bustling city below makes for a memorable moment. If timing permits, try visiting during sunset to witness the city transition into night, enhancing the romantic atmosphere

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11 Heartbreaking Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner

The realization that your husband has been cheating on you comes as a massive blow that makes you feel like the life you’ve built so painstakingly is crumbling before your eyes. You’re left grappling with a whirlwind of emotions — hurt, anger, shame, and pain — and may struggle to find a way forward. The aftermath of infidelity is a hellish experience for both the cheater and the betrayed spouse. It becomes even more unbearable if you begin to see signs your husband misses his affair partner.

That’s because if he is still pining for her, there is a good chance your husband still has feelings for affair partner. Talk about adding insult to injury. Now, given the fragile emotional state you’d likely be in ever since you started seeing the signs your husband is having an affair only to have your worst fears come true, it’s important to make sure that you’re reading the situation right.

Does he miss the other woman or is it merely remorse or cheating guilt manifesting in different ways? It’s imperative to know the difference to deal with the situation effectively. To help you make the distinction, I shine the light on some of the most common signs a married man has feelings for his mistress and misses her, with insights from relationship experts and couples counselors.

11 Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner — Heartbreaking But True

A friend of mind — let’s call her Jane — found herself faced with the dreadful reality that her husband of 13 years had fallen in love with his affair partner and pined for her almost a year after he supposedly ended the affair when she heard him mumbling her name in his sleep. It was, then, that she started paying closer attention to his behavior, and it became clear to her that while her husband had chosen to stay married to her, he was merely going through the motions since.

She confided in me one day, “I can’t remember the last time he genuinely laughed or felt excited by something. It’s like I’m living with the shell of the man he used to be. The signs my husband wants another woman are clear as day. It breaks my heart to see him, to see us, live this way. Why does he miss the other woman so much? Why aren’t I good enough for him?”

Jane, ultimately, decided that there was no point dragging on a dead marriage and they parted ways. Coming to terms with the fact that her husband missed his affair partner even after ending things with her was harder for her to come to terms with than the incident of infidelity itself. She is still working through post-infidelity stress disorder and trying to rebuild her life.

When your husband misses his affair partner, there will be an inevitable emotional distance between you

Weighing in on why this happens, psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle says, “The signs your husband misses his affair partner emerge only if that relationship was rooted in intense feelings. If he felt supported and better understood in that connection, there was trust and good sexual chemistry, he may long for his affair partner even if chose to end that relationship for whatever reasons.”

Now, the question is, how do you find out if something similar has been happening in your marriage? Here are some heartbreaking but accurate signs your husband misses his affair partner you ought to pay attention to: 

1. He seems emotionally withdrawn

Does he miss the other woman? This question is bound to cross your mind, particularly if you’re trying to reconcile and rebuild your relationship after infidelity. One of the most telling indicators that your husband still has feelings for affair partner and misses her is that he becomes emotionally withdrawn.

  • He may not want to communicate with you
  • He may shy away from spending time with you
  • He may seem preoccupied
  • He may exhibit signs of emotional numbness

A man may struggle to figure out how to get over an affair partner if that relationship was rooted in a deep emotional connection. If he and his affair partner stuck by each other through thick and thin, helped each other in times of crisis and became a source of support and comfort, a man may miss that genuine give-and-take of care and compassion.

Relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmaya

2. He is irritable and moody

Another one of the clear signs your husband misses his affair partner is that the decision to end that relationship has taken a toll on his emotional well-being. As a result, he may become more irritable and moodier. Counseling psychologist Anugrah Edmonds says, “Unresolved feelings for an affair partner can lead to a relationship dynamic of stonewalling. It can cause extreme mood swings and make men lose control over their emotions, leading to irritability and angry outbursts.” 

Related Reading: Falling Out Of Love In A Long-Term Relationship – Signs And What Should You Do

3. He compares you to his affair partner

To heal from the blow of infidelity, both partners need to put the incident behind them and not drudge it up over and over again once they’ve processed their emotions and decided to give their relationship another chance. However, if your partner invariably brings up his affair partner, often as a way of comparing you to her (and she always comes out looking good in that comparison), it’s one of the undeniable signs he misses his affair partner. It also indicates that he was deeply invested in that relationship — perhaps, to the point that he was considering leaving marriage for affair partner — and is struggling to get over her.

4. You can sense that he feels trapped in the marriage

Statistics suggest that only 5-7% of people leave their spouses for a long-term relationship/marriage with their affair partners. In the majority of cases, when push comes to shove, people choose marriage over extramarital affairs. Dr. Bhonsle says, “This could be due to a variety of reasons such as societal disapproval, family pressure, not wanting to put the children through the agony of a divorce, or not disrupting the logistical support offered by the spouse.”

However, just because he chose to end the affair doesn’t mean that all the feelings he had for that person will go away instantly. If your husband was emotionally invested, he may struggle to figure out how to get over an affair partner. Or if he was planning on leaving marriage for affair partner, all those dashed hopes and dreams may make him miserable. As a result, you may begin to see clear signs he feels trapped in the marriage, these include:

  • Avoiding spending time at home
  • Being cold toward you
  • Making jokes about how terrible marriage is
  • Not talking about the future
  • A brow-beaten, resigned demeanor

Related Reading: 12 Signs An Affair Is Turning Into Love

5. He hasn’t made an effort to repair his relationship with you

While possible, repairing a relationship after cheating is no joke. Understandably, the lion’s share of the responsibility falls on the cheating partner. As counseling psychologist Jui Pimple says, “If you have broken your partner’s trust, you have to work hard to earn it back.”

However, if your partner has taken no initiative to make amends or work toward rebuilding trust and repairing his relationship with you ever since you’ve navigated the turmoil of spotting the signs your husband is having an affair to actually uncovering his transgressions, it could be because his heart’s not in it. This is one of the clearest signs a married man has feelings for his mistress and misses her.

6. He is still secretive about his phone

As you begin to notice the signs your husband is having an affair and then go on to discover his infidelity, trust gets completely shattered. To be able to heal from this setback, you need to work on rebuilding the trust. Counseling psychologist Ridhi Golecha says, “Both partners need to commit to total transparency and honesty if they want to rebuild the lost trust.” However, if your husband is still grappling with the question of how to get over an affair partner and yearns for her, he may not make good on this promise.

infographic on Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner
11 Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner

7. He gets defensive

When recovering from the setback of infidelity, a couple has to have several difficult conversations. As the betrayed partner, you may have several questions to ask your unfaithful spouse, and if he committed to rebuilding the relationship, he will answer these questions and try to assuage your concerns.

However, if your husband gets defensive and irritable whenever you bring up his transgressions and doesn’t want to hear a word against his affair partner, it’s a worrying sign. You may wonder, “Why does my husband defend his affair partner?” Well, because he likely still has feelings for her and missed having her in his life. The signs of his emotional investment in the other woman cannot get more glaring than that.  

8. He stalks his affair partner on social media

My college roommate and best friend, Shirley, found out that her husband was having an affair with his. To give the marriage another chance and start afresh, the couple moved to Canada. Five years and two kids later, she chanced upon the woman’s name in her husband’s Facebook search history. She became vigilant and started tracking his social media activity on the sly.

To her dismay, she found that her husband would stalk his ex and former affair partner for hours every day. “Why does he miss the other woman so much even after all this time? What does this mean for my marriage? I upended my entire life to give this relationship another chance, and now I don’t know what to do,” she said.

If you notice something similar in the post-infidelity phase of your marriage, it should put you on the alert. Social media stalking is a clear indicator of residual feelings and the fact that your husband hasn’t been able to figure out how to get over an affair partner.

Related Reading: Lack Of Affection And Intimacy In A Relationship — 9 Ways It Affects You

9. The intimacy in your relationship has taken a hit

Rebuilding intimacy after the storm of infidelity has shaken up the very foundation of your relationship is not easy. Counseling psychologist Nandita Rambhia says, “Most couples experience awkwardness when trying to be intimate after one partner’s unfaithfulness has come to light because there are a lot of mental blocks that can impede emotional connection and sexual intimacy.”

However, in cases where the cheating partner has truly moved on from the affair, there is an intent as well as a sincere effort to bridge this gap and make amends. On the other hand, if your husband is still emotionally hung up on his affair partner, he may show no interest in reviving emotional and physical intimacy in the relationship. If you’ve been asking, “What are the signs my husband wants another woman?”, this is the one you need to look out for.

10.  He reminisces about his affair partner with close friends or a confidant

signs a married man has feelings for his mistress
Ending an affair doesn’t mean that all the feelings he had for that person will go away instantly

It’s unlikely that your husband will be so audacious as you reminisce about the other woman in front of you or talk about her in a way that leaves you wondering, “Why does my husband defend his affair partner?” However, if he does still have feelings for her and misses her, he might let all the longing and heartache slip in front of close friends or a confidant he trusts with his life.

If you’re looking for signs your husband misses his affair partner, it can help to test how the people in his inner circle react to the mention of that woman. Of course, only if you trust them and know that they know about your spouse’s transgression. Anything short of a resounding reiteration of the fact that he regrets his actions and has put the affair behind him is a red flag that your husband hasn’t yet figured out how to get over an affair partner.

Related Reading: 21 Heartbreaking Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You And How To Cope

11.  He prioritizes everything except your marriage

Does he miss the other woman? What are the signs my husband wants another woman? Do these questions weigh on your mind? Well, that, in itself, is an indicator that something is amiss. These questions are the outcome of your instincts picking up on his lack of investment in the marriage and desire to be with the other woman.

If that relationship was intense enough that your husband was considering leaving marriage for affair partner and has decided to stay only because of societal or familial obligations and pressures, he will make no real effort to repair his relationship with you. In this case, he may prioritize everything — his work, his friends, his parents, your kids, his hobbies — over your marriage. Being so checked out from the marriage is among the glaring signs your husband misses his affair partner.

There is no easy way to come to terms with the fact that perhaps your husband was considering leaving marriage for affair partner and has stayed back only because he felt compelled to or deal with the signs your husband misses his affair partner.

However, Dr. Bhonsle says, “Remember, you always have a choice. The choice available to you may not be pleasant, comfortable, or what you had hoped for, which is why exploring it can seem daunting. But it’s always there.” With that in mind, let’s explore what you can do if you discover that your husband still has feelings for his affair partner and misses her.

On Extramarital Affairs

What To Do If Your Husband Still Has Feelings For Affair Partner

“I see the signs my husband wants another woman and I just don’t care,” said no woman ever. The realization that your husband is harboring feelings for the other woman and misses having her in his life can be just as traumatic as the discovery of the affair, if not more. So, how do you deal with this and find a way forward?

Allow yourself to experience whatever feelings, emotions, and thoughts this realization brings up, and find a way to express them. Remember, it’s okay to be angry, hurt, or in pain.

Counseling psychologist Dhriti Bhavsar

Only once you’ve worked through the emotional turmoil brought on by your husband’s emotional investment in his affair partner can you begin to look for a way forward. For this, Dhriti offers the following tips:

  • Have a conversation with your husband: This might just be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but there is no alternative to a direct conversation once you see the signs your husband misses his affair partner. Tell them that you’ve noticed that he still pines for her and discuss what it means for the future of your marriage
  • Remember it takes two to make a marriage work: Your husband’s response will tell you all you need to know about the fate of your marriage. You cannot keep a relationship afloat single-handedly, and if your husband shows no interest in making things work, you might just have to accept that it’s the end of the road to your marital journey. On the other hand, if he admits to missing his affair partner and says he needs time to work through his feelings and reconnect with you, there’s still hope
  • Consider couples therapy: Rebuilding a marriage in the aftermath of an affair can be a tall order, and often, people lack the wherewithal to navigate it on their own. If you see hope for reconciliation despite your husband’s lingering feelings for this affair partner, going into couples therapy may be your best bet for turning a corner. If you’re looking for expert help to navigate this turmoil, Bonobology’s counseling services are here for you·
  • Be kind to yourself: Along with hurt and anger, a partner’s infidelity inevitably brings feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy in its wake. As you watch your husband pine for his affair partner, you’re bound to go down the rabbit hole of, “Why am I not good enough for him?” In moments like these, you need to be kind to yourself and commit to taking care of yourself, emotionally as well as physically

Key Pointers

  • Your husband may miss his affair partner if that relationship was rooted in intense feelings
  • Signs your husband missed his affair partner include being emotionally withdrawn, irritable, and moody, feeling trapped in the marriage, and not making an effort to repair his relationship with you
  • If you realize that your husband misses his affair partner, have a conversation with him about it. His response will tell you all you need to know about the fate of your marriage
  • If you see a glimmer of hope that he wants to work through his complicated emotional state to reconnect with you, consider couples therapy
  • Through it all, be kind to yourself and commit to taking care of yourself

If you could relate to most or all of the signs your husband misses his affair partner, I’m extremely sorry for what you’re going through right now. This is a difficult time, no doubt, but know that it will pass. As Hal Borland says, “No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”

FAQs

1. How long will it take my husband to get over his affair partner?

It’s hard to offer a specific timeline for how long it takes a man to get over his affair partner, as the answer to the question depends on a variety of factors such as the emotional connection he shared with his affair partner, the length and nature of the affair, the state of his relationship with his spouse, and his own personality and emotional baggage. However, in the case of long-term affairs, it can take anywhere up to a year to bounce back emotionally.

2. Does a man miss his affair partner?

If a man shared a deep connection with his affair partner, was emotionally attached to her and not just in it for physical needs, and felt supported, understood, and loved by her, he will miss his affair partner.

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150 Thinking Of You Quotes For Your Special Someone

When you have that special someone in your life — be it a spouse, a romantic partner, or even a crush — their thoughts take up a lot of your mind space. Wouldn’t it be great to let them know how their thoughts catch you unawares and make you long for them? A perfect way to let someone know how special they are to you and deepen your connection. But do you find yourself falling short of words to sum up your emotions? These thinking of you quotes fill the gap and lend voice to your feelings.

In this vast and eclectic mix of quotes to let someone know you are thinking of them, you’re sure to find a selection that perfectly sums up your emotions. Whether you’re looking for thinking of you messages for him, being there for someone quotes, sentimental quotes to send to your girlfriend, or romantic thinking about you messages for your SO, we’ve got you covered.

Thinking Of You Messages for Him

Men appreciate heartfelt and straightforward expressions of affection. So, if you’ve been looking for thinking of you messages for him, it’s best to lead straight from the heart and let him know exactly how you feel. Whether he’s near or far, these messages are crafted to touch his heart and remind him of your deep affection:

thinking of you messages for him
  1. “If you’re wondering whether I’m thinking of you, the answer is yes.”
  2. “Just a quick reminder: You mean the world to me, and I always think of you!”
  3. “Even when I’m swamped, my thoughts escape to be with you.”
  4. “With every sunrise, my mind drifts to you, and my heart follows.”
  5. “Every song I hear reminds me of how often you’re on my mind.”
  6. “I’m smiling because you’re in my thoughts right now, and that’s the best place to be.”
  7. “I caught myself getting lost in thoughts of you. It’s my new favorite hobby.”
  8. “I hope you’re thinking of me as often as I am of you… which is every second.”
  9. “Even the busiest days can’t keep my mind off you.”
  10. “You’re the reason for my joy and the thoughts of you are my best moments.”
  11. “Every beat of my heart whispers your name. Can’t stop thinking about you.”
  12. “You’ve occupied my thoughts and honestly, I don’t want you to leave.”
  13. “Wishing I was there with you, but since I can’t, I’m just thinking about you instead.”
  14. “Every heartbeat seems to beat stronger when I think of you.”
  15. “You’re not here, but you’re right here in my heart and my thoughts.”
  16. “Thinking of you and counting the days until we meet again.”
  17. “Just in case you forgot today: I’m thinking about you, as always.”
  18. “Whenever I struggle to smile, I just close my eyes and think of you.”
  19. “You’re like my most favorite song; I could think of you all day long.”
  20. “Hey, just wanted to tell you I’ve been thinking of you. Okay, more like daydreaming, but still.”

Related Reading: How To Increase Love In A Relationship: 11 Tips From A Therapist

Famous thinking of you quotes for him

If you’d prefer some tried and tested words to let your man know how much he’s on your mind, use these famous quotes as your thinking about you messages for him:

  1. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” – Miles Davis (Musician)
  2. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, my garden would be a park.” – Alfred Tennyson (Poet)
  3. “Wherever you go, you are with me.” – Richard Bach (Writer)
  4. “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) wherever I go, or whatever is done, you are still the one.” – E. E. Cummings (Poet)
  5. “They say home is where the heart is. You are my home.” – Stephanie Perkins (Author)
  6. “To be away from you is to be seasick without the sea.” – Emily Dickinson (Poet)
  7. “I dwell in possibility.” – Emily Dickinson (Poet)
  8. “When I think of you, I think of kindness, wisdom, and love. Thanks for being you.” – Sam Crow
  9. “Maybe if you can’t get somebody out of your head, they’re supposed to be there.” – Mollz
  10. “When I think of you, I think of kindness, wisdom, and love. Thanks for being you.” – Sam Crow
thinking of you text for her
thinking of you text for her

Looking for sentimental quotes to send to your girlfriend? Or the perfect thinking of you text for her that will make her feel special and loved? Or being there for someone quotes that hold the promise of eternal togetherness? These text ideas will work like a charm to pull at her heartstrings and let her know how much she’s on your mind:

Related Reading: How To Woo A Girlfriend? What Does It Mean To Woo Someone

  1. “Every time a thought of you crosses my mind, my heart skips a beat.”
  2. “You’re my favorite daydream.”
  3. “I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you.”
  4. “Your laugh is my favorite sound, and your name is my favorite noun.”
  5. “Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.”
  6. “I found myself smiling without reason, and then I realized I was thinking of you.”
  7. “You are the reason I look down at my phone and smile. Then I walk into a pole.”
  8. “Just knowing you’re in the world makes me happy. But knowing you’re thinking of me? That’s on another level.”
  9. “If thoughts were a currency, I’d be the richest person on earth, because you’re all I think about.”
  10. “Whenever I struggle to smile, I just close my eyes and think of you.”
  11. “Thinking of you is like the sun on a cloudy day—always lighting up the shadows.”
  12. “Is it crazy that just one thought of you brightens up my entire day?”
  13. “If my thoughts were ink, I could write a novel about you every day.”
  14. “Just a text to let you know that you’re my favorite thought.”
  15. “Every time my heart beats, it sends a message of my love for you.”
  16. “I’m smiling because you’re the reason behind it.”
  17. “A thought of you is like a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day.”
  18. “I’m carrying thoughts of you wrapped in my heart.”
  19. “If each thought of you were a flower, I could walk in my garden forever.”
  20. “I hope your day is as wonderful as the thoughts you inspire in me.”

Related Reading: 15 Compliments For A Man’s Smile To Make Him Smile More

Famous thinking about you messages for her

Stir in an element of nuance and romanticism with these famous I can’t stop thinking about you quotes for her, and make long for you just as much:

  1. “She walks in beauty, like the night / Of cloudless climes and starry skies; / And all that’s best of dark and bright / Meet in her aspect and her eyes.” – Lord Byron
  2. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.” – Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
  3. “Doubt thou the stars are fire; / Doubt that the sun doth move; / Doubt truth to be a liar; / But never doubt I love.” – William Shakespeare
  4. “Take away your allure, and you steal my sun.” – Victor Hugo
  5. “She was a wildflower in a world of roses.” – Dolly Parton
  6. “In her smile, I see something more beautiful than the stars.” – George Clooney
  7. “For you see, every day with you is a holiday.” – Nicholas Sparks
  8. “They say home is where the heart is. You are my home.” – Stephanie Perkins
  9. “To be away from you is to be seasick without the sea.” – Emily Dickinson
  10. “I dwell in possibility.” – Emily Dickinson

Related Reading: 23 Thoughtful Messages To Fix A Broken Relationship

Sweet Thinking Of You Quotes for Your Crush

sweet thinking of you
sweet thinking of you

A crush is all about those exciting feelings of longing and sweet anticipation. That’s what makes this budding phase of a romance so special and exciting. With these sweet thinking of you quotes for your crush you can stir up the same emotions in the object of your affection as well:

  1. “Each time my phone lights up, I hope it’s a message from you, bringing your brightness into my day.”
  2. “Thinking of you feels like catching a glimpse of a shooting star—fleeting, rare, and totally magical.”
  3. “If I could plant a star every time I thought of you, the night sky would be a little brighter.”
  4. “Whenever I find myself smiling at my phone, it’s because I’m thinking of your texts.”
  5. “I catch myself pausing in the middle of the day just to savor thoughts of your laughter.”
  6. “Every song I hear reminds me of you, and how sweet life could be if you were singing along.”
  7. “You’ve occupied my thoughts, and honestly, I never want to evict you.”
  8. “If thoughts were bubbles, I’d be floating away by now, buoyed by dreams of you.”
  9. “Just a little thought of you and my day instantly gets better. Thank you for this magical effect on me.”
  10. “Are you a wizard? Because whenever I think of you, all my troubles disappear.”
  11. “If there were a penny for every time you crossed my mind, I’d be the richest person in the world.”
  12. “Just thinking of you brings a smile to my face. A big, silly, uncontrollable smile.”
  13. “You might be out of my sight, but a day hasn’t gone by without you in my thoughts.”
  14. “I wonder if you think of me half as much as I think of you—I sure hope so.”
  15. “Every time I think of you, my heart dances to the rhythm of hope and possibilities.”
  16. “In the garden of my life, my thoughts of you are like vibrant flowers blooming bright and beautiful.”
  17. “If my thoughts were an ocean, you are the treasure hidden beneath its waves.”
  18. “You’re the ‘ping’ to my phone, the unexpected smile in my day, the thought that carries me through the tough times.”
  19. “Just sending a little thought your way, wrapped in all the wishes of my heart.”
  20. “You’ve turned my thoughts into a wonderful place to be—filled with memories of your smile and laughter.”

Related Reading: 31 Intriguing Psychological Facts About Love

Famous thinking of you quotes for a crush

Can’t think of the right words to convey how much your crush is on your mind no matter where you are or what you are doing? Use these famous thinking of you quotes to your advantage and win your crush’s heart:

  1. “In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” – Virginia Woolf
  2. “If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.” – Claudia Adrienne Grandi
  3. “I’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still I love you.” – Zelda Fitzgerald
  4. “My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it’s surprising how often they head in your direction.” – Perez Hilton
  5. “I think about you often, and it’s always a pleasant distraction.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
  6. “I think about you constantly, whether it’s with my mind or my heart.” – Albany Bach Reid
  7. “I am waiting and hoping and wishing for the time when we can be together again. Thinking of You…” – James
  8. “So, here I am, all by myself, thinking of you—no one else. There’s a feeling inside and as hard as I try, it just won’t go away.” – Angel Hema
  9. “Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair.” – William Cowper
  10. “Between a million yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there’s only one today. And I would never let it pass without telling you I’m thinking of you.” – Mitch Cuento

Related Reading: 100 Rizz Pickup Lines To Up Your Flirting Game

Romantic Thinking About You Quotes for Your SO

romantic thinking about you
romantic thinking about you

The right words can capture the depth of your feelings for your SO and express the profound love you harbor for them. One of the best ways of doing that is to let them know they’re on your mind, whether you’re near or far. That’s exactly what these romantic thinking about you quotes for your SO convey:

  1. “In every heartbeat, I find another reason why you’re my incessant thought.”
  2. “Every night, the stars align to spell out your name in my thoughts.”
  3. “The thought of you brings a calm no storm can disturb.”
  4. “I find your essence weaving through my daily thoughts, binding my heart to yours.”
  5. “Every sunset reminds me of you, and how the colors of my world are brighter with you in it.”
  6. “Thinking of you is my heart’s way of reminding me how much I love you.”
  7. “I smile more often now, and it’s all because thoughts of you are a constant happiness in my life.”
  8. “Each thought of you fills me with such warmth, it’s like the sun decided to shine just for me.”
  9. “Your love lingers in my thoughts like a serene melody that never ends.”
  10. “Even on the busiest days, my mind wanders off to the tranquillity of thinking about you.”
  11. “You live in my dreams, but even more so in my reality because I think about you all the time.”
  12. “Whenever I think of you, my day turns into the sweetest day ever.”
  13. “I carry thoughts of you like precious gems, treasured and close to my heart.”
  14. “You’re not just in my thoughts during the idle moments; you’re also in the midst of the chaos, bringing peace.”
  15. “With every thought of you, I love you more. That’s why you never leave my mind.”
  16. “It’s not just that I think about you, it’s that these thoughts of you make everything better.”
  17. “Your love dances through my thoughts, turning ordinary moments into poetry.”
  18. “Every thought of you feels like a page from a fairy tale I want to read over and over.”
  19. “Whenever I think of you, my heart skips a beat, as if it’s just you and me in this world.”
  20. “My thoughts of you are like a soothing melody that comforts my soul.”

Related Reading: 100+ Heart-Melting I Miss You Messages For Him

Famous romantic thinking of you quotes for your SO

Certain expressions of love and longing have been etched in time forever. In every age and era, these classics capture the emotions of romantic love perfectly. Let these famous romantic thinking of you quotes be the carriers of your feelings for your SO:  

  1. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” – Angelita Lim
  2. “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë
  3. “I think of you, and I can feel you in my entire being.” – Steve Maraboli
  4. “My heart dances with joy when I think about you.” – Debasish Mridha
  5. “The simple lack of her is more to me than others’ presence.” – Edward Thomas
  6. “I think about you constantly, whether it’s with my mind or my heart.” – Terri Guillemets
  7. “You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
  8. “In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” – Virginia Woolf
  9. “You are the one girl that made me risk everything for a future worth having.” – Simone Elkeles
  10. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.” – Alfred Tennyson

I Can’t Stop Thinking About You Quotes

I can't stop thinking about you quotes
I can’t stop thinking about you quotes

When you’re hopelessly smitten or deeply in love, “I can’t stop thinking about you” becomes a constant background score underlying every moment of your life. These I can’t stop thinking about you quotes capture the power of those unyielding thoughts:

Related Reading: 125 Sweet, Thoughtful, Heartfelt Words to Make Her Feel Special

  1. “Every minute apart feels like hours, and every hour feels like days. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
  2. “No matter where I go, or what I do, I’m in a perpetual state of thinking about you.”
  3. “Day and night, you’re on my mind. Constantly, like an unending melody.”
  4. “You are my last thought before I drift to sleep and the first when I wake up. Always, endlessly, you.”
  5. “Like a star in the night sky, thoughts of you shine the brightest in the darkest moments.”
  6. “If thinking of you was a job, I’d be the most dedicated worker.”
  7. “Your name is etched in my mind; your face, forever in my thoughts.”
  8. “I catch myself smiling alone, lost in thoughts of you. It’s a habit now.”
  9. “With every heartbeat, echoes a thought of you.”
  10. “Thinking about you is like breathing. It can’t stop, and it’s essential for my survival.”
  11. “If there’s a thought I could live in, it would be one where you are with me.”
  12. “You’ve captured my mind. It’s a perpetual state of you.”
  13. “Each day is just another page of my mind filled with thoughts of you.”
  14. “You invade my dreams, and I find myself waking up smiling because I was thinking about you.”
  15. “The thought of you adds a touch of beauty to my everyday life.”
  16. “My mind wanders and always heads in your direction.”
  17. “I’m addicted to my thoughts of you. They’re my escape and my reality all at once.”
  18. “You are the permanent resident of the secret place in my mind where I find peace.”
  19. “In the library of my mind, books about you are the most worn-out from constant reading.”
  20. “Every thought of you feels like a poem, written in the ink of love.”
on romance

Famous quotes to let someone know you can’t stop thinking of them

When you think you are running out of ways to let that special someone know how much you love them and how often they’re on your mind, these famous I can’t stop thinking about you quotes can come to your rescue:  

Related Reading: A Complete Guide On The 10 Stages Of Falling In Love

  1. “You’re on my mind now and always. You are the sweetest song that only my ears can hear.” – Kirito
  2. “I think about you constantly, whether it’s with my mind or my heart.” – Albany Bach Reid
  3. “You are always in my thoughts. When I think of you, when I miss you, it is like I am lost without you but have direction with you.” – Shah Asad Rizvi
  4. “My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it’s surprising how often they head in your direction.” – Perez Hilton
  5. “I’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still I love you.” – Zelda Fitzgerald
  6. “Thinking of you is easy—I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.” – Michael Pryce
  7. “In my thoughts of you there is an underlying love that is present in every thought itself.” – Edgar Cayce
  8. “Every now and then my heart wanders back in time and all those old feelings awaken the memories in my mind.” – Fad Ibra
  9. “I am thinking about you. When I look in your eyes and they swallowed me. They have turned the floor underfoot and mixed my head. Your look is simple but too much to be able to submit.” – Sophieya
  10. “I think of you with every waking moment of my life and dream of you with every dream that I have; I miss you.” – Kong Moua

A heart-rendering thinking of you text for her. Quotes to let someone know you are thinking of them. A sweet thinking of you message dropped out of the blue. A romantic thinking about you quote to brighten up your SO’s day. These are not mere words. They hold the promise of love, a hope of togetherness. So, use these thinking of you quotes generously and often to cement the bond you share with that special someone in your life.

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Ask Our Expert

11 Perks Of Dating A Tomboy And How To Make It Work

When you see a tomboy in shredded jeans, huge headphones hanging around her neck, and her messy ponytail showing every sign of minimal to zero effort, what’s the first thought that comes to your mind? “She is hot!” – maybe. “I want to wife her up” – probably won’t crack your top ten. Instead of thinking about dating a tomboy, most men would rather challenge her to a round of pool. And there’s a good chance she will destroy you at it! 

That’s the reality of tomboy girls, for the most part. Misunderstood and often overlooked when it comes to establishing romantic connections. So, if you are here to gather pointers on tomboy dating, our first tip would be to approach this romantic connection with a lot of compassion. What does that entail, you ask? We help you navigate the intricacies of dating a tomboy, with insights from counseling psychologist Dhriti Bhavsar (M.Sc, Clinical Psychology), who specializes in relationship, breakup, and LGBTQ counseling. 

What Are Tomboy Girls Like? 

You must already know that being a tomboy is not a person’s gender identity. It’s a way of life defined by the characteristic traits of an individual – how they act, talk, socialize, and dress up. Since these traits are perceived as essentially masculine, the girls who display them are labeled boyish. Because let’s face it, when has our society ever been able to handle ‘out of the box’?

Dhriti elaborates, “Gender roles play a huge role in the psyche of a tomboy girl. Usually, it manifests in the way of rebelling against strictly enforced gender norms. This shows up typically in girls whose families hold very rigid norms on how a girl should look and act, and often discourage, punish, or scold the tomboy girl for her boyish interests. This can make her double down on her tomboyish ways to keep doing the things she genuinely enjoys. 

“Some reject femininity due to a lack of good female role models they can look up to. Kids grow to emulate the gender norms of the same-sex parent because they look up to the parent. Certain kids see how their mothers, sisters, and friends live through the restrictions, lack of freedom, and thankless responsibilities and decide they want none of that — and who can blame them!”

Related Reading: 20 Tips To Get Close To A Girl And Win Her Heart

Before we delve further into the nitty-gritty of dating a tomboy, here are some of the trademark qualities that most tomboys often adhere to:

  • They are confident in their skin and abilities 
  • They are always one of the guys because that’s less drama 
  • They are adventurous with a go-getter attitude and speak straight from the shoulder
  • Unlike other girls, they resent anything pink, a girly dress or high heels, and of course, makeup
  • They are more into sports and beer than Hello Kitty and Chanel purses 
  • Valentine’s Day gifts, prom nights, marriage, parenting — chances are a tomboy won’t be into any of these 
Tomboy girls have great confidence and a go-getter attitude

11 Perks Of Dating A Tomboy

Not every tomboy comes across as ‘appealing’ at first sight given that they lack the typical feminine elements that men have been conditioned to consider attractive. So, it all boils down to how much time you spend getting to know her. Because boy oh boy, once you do, there’s no turning back!

According to Dhriti, there are quite a few reasons why men find tomboys attractive. “You will have plenty of shared interests to bond over with. Tomboy girls are often good at taking up and dishing out challenges. Not to say that hyper-feminine women aren’t, but tomboys aren’t concerned with coming across as soft-spoken or sweet. She can take care of herself, and she’ll be good at fighting for herself and you too,” she says. Sounds fascinating? Let’s continue the discussion and talk about 11 perks of dating a tomboy:

Related Reading: 40 Cute Things To Do With Your Girlfriend At Home

1. She gets ready super quick 

You are about to go out to run some errands. Your girlfriend says, “Hey babe, I will be ready in five.” And guess what, she actually does! Isn’t that every guy’s dream? She won’t take half an hour to pick the perfect outfit and another half on makeup and accessories. Slip into a pair of jeans and a baggy shirt and she is all set. How can you not fall madly for this girl?

2. There is no pretense — she is what she is

Authenticity is part of the package with her. These women are so confident in their skin, doing their own thing, they have hardly a care for the world. She can step into a high-end restaurant in her regular clothes ignoring all the stares and still make an impression. Get this, she might just lick the foil of the brownie you got her if that’s what she likes. When you are with her, you get to see a 100% genuine person. Since she is not desperate for men’s validation, or anyone’s for that matter, she has nothing to hide. 

3. She is low-maintenance 

This may appeal to you if you are rather laid-back in your dating approach — not always up for putting in the effort. Tomboy girls don’t need a lot of looking after or pampering to feel content and happy in a relationship. No need to plan elaborate date nights or spend a fortune on expensive presents for her. Fix her with some ramen at home, put her favorite movie on, and keep a couple of video games handy, and she will have the best time.

Related Reading: How To Keep Calm When Your Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys

4. Loving girlfriend minus the drama

Oh, I am sure you men are all sick with the girlfriend drama. The other day, my friend Justin dropped by just to complain about his girl for an hour. (Talk about nagging, huh?) Apparently, Julia locked herself in her room and won’t come out, won’t even eat. Just as he was about to give up asking, “What’s wrong?”, she revealed that the previous night, she was upset after watching a movie and he didn’t offer her a comforting hug. We promise, your tomboy partner would never put you through such Justin-Julia dramas. 

5. She can surprise you on the romance front

Perhaps, you think because she is a tomboy, she doesn’t know the first thing about romance. Well, hold your horses, my friend. She may not be a ‘roses and romantic dinners’ enthusiast. But she will spend days looking for the first edition of your favorite book and get a signed copy for your birthday. On date night, she might take you to the coziest nook in the city that she loves and bring a picnic basket of homemade sandwiches and beer. Now does it sound like you will miss out on romance when dating a tomboy? We didn’t think so. 

6. Tomboys are hot – whenever they decide to bring it on

Don’t be fooled by her tomboy cap and Crocs. She can clean up real nice and when she does, you will have to pick up your jaw off the floor. Her rugged attitude mingled with the raw beauty is sure to fire up the floor. Just wait until she decides to bring her A-game on and you would want to watch her forever.   

Related Reading: What Is Romance To A Man – 13 Things Men Find Incredibly Romantic

7. No long, tedious hours of shopping 

When you are with a tomboy, she won’t drag you to the Home Depot for a pot and then leave after three hours maxing out both of your credit cards. Dress shopping with her won’t be any more complicated than a short tour to Macy’s or Target. Rest assured, the shopping shenanigans aren’t at all extravagant or taxing with a tomboyish girl. 

8. She understands you better

She might be a girl but she has a natural gift of connecting with men. A girly girl may get mad if you plan a boys’ night two weekends in a row or be furious if you forget your anniversary. But a tomboy has the rational capacity to understand a man’s perspective on things. She would understand the need for individual social circles even when you’re in a relationship and offer you ample space to breathe. 

9. Her sense of humor is impeccable

To be more specific, her sense of humor is closer to that of a guy. Together you can share a good laugh at someone’s fake accent. She won’t be offended by the typical guy jokes. And the memes she sends you are next-level funny. Fair warning, she is the queen of sarcasm. She will tease you a lot but yes, she can also take a hit like a sport. So, to laugh and be laughed at, date a tomboy. 

10. Watch or play — she is your ultimate sports buddy

Imagine this – the Rangers game is on tonight (and you absolutely can’t miss it) but you are supposed to hang out with your girlfriend. Now that’s a pickle! In any other scenario, we would suggest you keep your plans with your girl, check the scores on your phone, and leave it at that. But with a tomboy, this dilemma wouldn’t even exist. We bet she is also hesitating to tell you that she wants to catch the game too. Just talk and straighten things out with her. If anything, she will love you even more after this. We tell you, whether it’s watching sports or playing Minecraft, you won’t find a better companion than a tomboy girlfriend.   

11. You get an amazing friend in her

These girls are super chill, humble, and easy to connect with. You can speak your mind without worrying about, “What if she thinks less of me?” Plus, she will be a hit among your guy friends. The way a tomboy can break the ice is uncanny. Before you know it, she will be a ‘bro’ and you will definitely have your friends’ blessings for dating this amazing girl.  

Related Reading: 21 Ways To Be A Better Partner For A Better Relationship

How To Attract A Tomboy — 5 Ways

Do men like tomboys? YES! A tomboyish girl can be a good friend, an even better companion to watch sports with. And men in general think tomboys are hot. But when it’s a matter of the heart, guys tend to hesitate before making a move. Sometimes they are intimidated by the girl’s confidence; sometimes they are unsure of her romantic inclinations because tomboys are usually not desperate for men to like them.

However, that doesn’t mean they’re not open to or interested in the possibility of a romantic connection taking root. A Quora user says, “As a tomboy, I like both feminine men and manly gentlemen. I like looking at beautiful things. I want a man that takes good care of himself and is self-aware. I like being reminded of my femininity but also learning how to do things better and with him.” 

Dhriti says, “Chances are, she’s not used to people doing things for her or taking care of her. Showing some consideration can go a long way. Have a good sense of humor, don’t be afraid of poking fun at her but be ready to be made fun of later.” So, empathy and understanding — that’s what you need to attract a tomboy. Oh wait, we have a couple of more ideas to share:

  • To grab a tomboy’s attention, you need to appreciate and admire her for exactly who she is. Tell her how cute she looks in that messy bun and her brother’s oversized hoodie!
  • Bond with her before dropping the L-word. Given her interests are all about bikes, sports, hiking, rock music, or something to that effect, we are sure you won’t have to try too hard to find a common interest
  • Make a note – nothing captivates a tomboy more than intellectual, engaging conversation
  • Don’t change yourself to fit into her ‘boyfriend’ criteria. When you are all for her genuineness, you should present yourself in the same light too 

Related Reading: 25 Ways To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl

7 Tips For Dating A Tomboy Successfully 

Responding to the question, “Do men like tomboys?”, Dhriti says, “What people find attractive is highly subjective and is based on many factors like personal tastes, past experiences, emotional connect, intellectual stimulation, and even genetics to some extent. Tomboys have their charms, and dating one takes a man who is secure in his skin.”

On that note, Dhriti shares a few insights from our readers who are trying to figure out how to treat their tomboy girlfriend right. “Your girl might have some things to learn and unlearn when it comes to gender roles and identity. Be patient with her, and become her safe space by not expecting her to be a certain way. She might also struggle to be transparent with her feelings. You may need to put in some work to foster open and honest communication, particularly about emotion. There’s something you should remember: vulnerability encourages vulnerability.” In addition to this, here are some tips you need to be mindful of to master the art of tomboy dating:

More on dating tips

1. Remember she is not a damsel in distress 

Unlike a girly girl, your tomboy girlfriend won’t jump around the house at the sight of a cockroach or ask you to come over to help fix her kitchen tap. She is brave and independent enough to tackle any minor or major inconvenience on her own. If you were hoping to swoop in as her knight in shining armor, you would be disappointed more often than you thought. Dhriti suggests you learn to recognize that her being strong-headed and self-reliant is not a challenge to your masculinity. It’s just who she is. 

2. Don’t assume things for her

Just because most tomboys are into sports and gadgets, it’s a likely conjecture that she would want to watch the Super Bowls with you over some girly TV soap. And it would be mighty inaccurate of you to conclude something for her without so much of a conversation about her likes and dislikes. Being a tomboy doesn’t restrain her from taking a bubble bath and watching Gossip Girl. So, Dhriti suggests, “Keep an open mind and don’t shame her for her interests – masculine or feminine.”

Related Reading: 6 Ways To Be More Empathetic In A Relationship According To An Expert

3. Don’t keep suggesting modifications in her demeanor 

Be honest here. Didn’t you fall head over heels with her when she absolutely smashed you in that arcade game? You both hiked miles together in the rain, smeared in mud and the smell of the woods. You even went fishing together. You had all the pieces of the puzzle to see her in her entirety. Now that she is your girlfriend, you can’t ask her to switch to a feminine alter-ego. Remember, you cannot build a long-term relationship unless you both show up in your genuine persona.  

4. Nurture her competitive nature

Competitive is the middle name of almost every tomboy girl. From beating your high score in Mario Kart to doing more push-ups than you in the gym, she will always keep you on your toes. When you are dating a tomboy, remind yourself to take these challenges in a constructive light. At the end of the day, you are on the same team and you can’t let these silly trials take an upper hand on your relationship. 

Related Reading: 15 Ways A Woman Wants To Be Treated

5. Accept the fact that she just gets along well with guys 

If you are in a relationship with a tomboy or thinking of getting into one, you have to keep a rein on your jealous streak. There will inevitably be other guys around her as tomboy girls are seen hanging out with their guy friends more often. If you get jealous or ask her to cut ties with a good friend, you are forcing her to become a person she is not. So, the trick here is to befriend her gang and be a part of their conversations. You will see there is nothing to be threatened of.  

6. Treat her the way you would have treated a girly girl on a date

A tomboy is still a girl at the core and won’t mind being treated like a queen. She won’t fight the idea of a candlelight dinner or getting each other flowers once in a while. In fact, you can go that extra mile and make a grand romantic gesture to sweep her off her feet. Although, we must warn you, don’t make a show out of it in front of her friends or colleagues or you will never hear the end of it. 

Related Reading: How To Woo A Girlfriend? What Does It Mean To Woo Someone

7. Try to understand her love language 

Romantic lovey-dovey words, hugs, and kisses don’t come easy to tomboy girls. So, we expect you to pay closer attention to her countenance and actions. You will see love in her eyes even if she doesn’t express it in so many words. She may not make cute scrapbooks with your pictures but she will fix your broken computer for you or rearrange your records by genre. You just need to be receptive because she speaks the language of ‘acts of service’ when showing her love for you. 

Key Pointers

  • Tomboy girls are devoid of all the usual girly drama and the chase for the perfect outfit and makeup
  • One of the perks of dating a tomboy is that they are low maintenance, easier to make happy, and content
  • You don’t need to spend hours waiting for her to get ready or holding shopping bags outside the changing room
  • Tomboys have similar interests and sense of humor to that of a man
  • She is capable of understanding your guy issues like no one else which makes her a good friend and an amazing girlfriend

Congratulations, now you know the whole nine yards of dating a tomboy. Before we part, here’s a pro tip: if you have a crush on that pixie girl in your class who barely knows your existence, don’t give up before you try. Make your way through her life, and give her and yourself a chance to know each other. With the universe in your corner, she won’t be able to resist your charm and all your efforts. Once she does, the ball comes back to your court. And you know well how to make that girl feel seen, loved, and appreciated. 

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How To Find the Right Sofa Bed for Your Space

Picture this: It’s a cozy Saturday night, and your friends eagerly call for a movie marathon. You have the popcorn ready and the laughter filling the living room, but there’s just one thing missing — A guest room.

Enter the brilliant sofa bed, your night-time savior. This multifunctional marvel effortlessly transforms from a comfortable couch by day to a soft, inviting sleep sanctuary by night. With its array of sizes and upgrades, it adapts to your needs seamlessly, adding a touch of charm to your home.

Getting the right sofa bed becomes even more essential for couples who adore curling up with a good book. Imagine snuggling on a plush sofa, engrossed in your favorite novels. As the evening progresses, your cozy reading nook transforms into a haven of rest, perfect for drifting off into dreams with the one you love. But how do you choose the perfect hideaway solution that looks stunning in its sofa and bedforms?

This guide is designed to arm you with all the tools you need to navigate the world of sofa bed shopping. Envision your home boasting a piece of furniture that’s as versatile as a transformer, blending form and function with effortless grace.

To make your decision-making process a bit easier, we delve into the most important factors — Capacity, utility, and style. These points of judgment will help ensure that you find the perfect sofa bed solution, one that will make your home even more inviting and delightful for those intimate reading sessions, and beyond.

Understand Your Area

Before you get too ahead of yourself with plush cushions or sleek designer furniture, step back and look at your living space. Check and double-check the space you have available to be sure it will allow for both the footprint of the sofa and all necessary clearances while unfolding it.

Measure your available space 

Many considerations must be taken into account. See how traffic will flow through the space. When opened, will the bed block any pathways? Drawing a layout on paper is pretty beneficial in terms of visualization.

Related Reading: 10 Ways To Redecorate Your Home

Size Matters For Snug Singles Or Family Sleepovers

Many sizes of sofa beds fit a variety of needs. For studio apartments, we have options that are specifically twin-sized or good for occasional guests, and full-sized/queen-sized options for a sofa bed that requires more sleeping room. The same goes for a king-sized sofa bed, which will require substantial floor space if you host families or couples regularly.

The Real Heros — The Mechanism

The unfolding mechanism is its soul — The soul of a sofa bed, so to speak. This one, if good enough, ensures comfortable use for many years without any problem of wear and tear! Select the smoothest, easiest-to-use unit. 

Opt for strong metal hinges and pass on anything that will easily get stuck or that seems cheap and plastic. Why not show the metamorphosis at your store too? A couch that turns into a bed and goes back to being a couch with minimal effort will save time for everyone involved.

Related Reading: Proper Sleep – The Secret Sauce To A Healthy And Happy Marriage

Comfort Is King (Or Queen)

Everyone can agree to this — If I sleep entirely lumpy, then nobody would like that in the morning. Spend a little extra on the sofa bed and get the best quality mattress that supports your back. Innerspring mattresses have the most traditional feel while memory foam slowly cradles your body to relieve pressure. 

Mattress thickness

A slightly thinner profile may save space, but rest assured, a thicker mattress guarantees you a comfortable night’s sleep.

Speaking of frame materials: From duct tape to iron-built

The frame is what supports your sofa bed. Solid metal frames guarantee years of use, and hardwood choices provide you with a classic touch. Lightweight frames are likely to wobble or buckle under stress, so they should be avoided.

Upholstery Selection: Dress For The Occasion

It’s more than just eye candy, the choice of fabric. Consider your lifestyle before you make a purchase. There are animal and kid-friendly options too, which are made from leather or faux leather and can be cleaned easily. Textiles come in many colors and textures, and some need special care. Choose the covers which are removable and washable to ensure ease of maintenance.

Style and aesthetics, of course

Don’t compromise on style! There are many designs of sofa beds to choose from, ranging from classic and traditional right up to modern contemporary. Select a design that fits well with your furniture and how you want your home to look. Why not opt for an elegant futon if you’re going for a minimalistic look? Or if you want to add a luxurious flair, choose something velvet plush.

Related Reading: How Sleeping In Separate Beds Made Them A Happier Couple

Your Bonus Features: Look At The Extras

Other sofa beds have more features which make them highly functional. Hidden built-in storage ottomans are perfect for a couple of blankets or pillows. You can opt for ones that have cup holders or armrests for better functionality.

This is why it’s important to understand this piece of furniture in practical terms. Keep the comfort, operation, and style of your sofa bed as a priority to ensure that your life integrates with it easily. A smart choice allows you to enjoy a stylish place to sit during your daytime get-togethers AND is also an enveloping comfort zone for overnight guests. I mean, who wouldn’t want a good design award-winning sofa bed in the first place? Now that you know what to look for, you too can get your award-winning transformer sofa bed!

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Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner? An Expert Answers

There was a time in my life when I found myself unable to articulate my thoughts to my partner, particularly during arguments or in moments that demanded vulnerability. It was not for a lack of clarity about what I wanted to say or finding myself at a loss for words. I just couldn’t bring myself to say certain things out loud. This, in turn, added to the confusion and misunderstandings, which made it even harder to be vocal about my thoughts and feelings. Feeling like we were caught in a vicious circle, I wondered, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”

I’m certain this is a dilemma most people struggle with in their intimate relationships. After all, the stereotype of “Nothing” being the standard response to “What’s wrong?” hasn’t emerged in a bubble. That’s because so many of us grow up without learning how to communicate needs in a relationship or how to have difficult conversations without getting defensive or hurting feelings.

Given the criticality of healthy communication in a relationship, we must unlearn these patterns. We’re here to help you work through communication problems in a relationship, with insights from counseling psychologist Rashmi Shah (MSc in psychology), who specializes in dealing with a broad range of relationship issues, from lack of intimacy to conflict and breakups.

Signs Of Communication Problems In A Relationship

Like me, have you also been struggling with the thought, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?” Before we explore it further, it’s important to establish that you’re, in fact, dealing with communication problems in a relationship and not simply overthinking the situation. So, what does poor communication in a relationship look like? Rashmi shares the following tell-tale signs to watch out for:

  • Poor listening: One of the signs that you’re not communicating in a relationship the right way is an inability to hear each other out patiently. “One or both partners may not actively listen to each other, leading to misunderstandings or feeling unheard,” says Rashmi
  • Frequent arguments: “Constant arguments or fights over trivial matters may indicate underlying communication issues,” says Rashmi. If every disagreement leads to fights, it’s a sign you need to learn how to talk about issues in a relationship
  • Blame game: Blame shifting is another key indicator of poor communication in a relationship. “Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, partners may blame each other for problems in the relationship,” says Rashmi
  • Different communication styles: “Partners may have different communication styles or preferences, leading to difficulty in understanding each other,” explains Rashmi. When you talk in a way that doesn’t resonate with your partner or vice versa, you will inevitably be left grappling with a lack of communication in a relationship
  • Passive-aggressiveness: “Instead of openly addressing concerns, one partner may resort to passive-aggressive behavior or sarcasm,” says Rashmi. As a result, you may be left lamenting, “My partner/my wife/ my husband doesn’t understand me”, or
  • Assumptions: Misunderstandings are a clear sign of communication problems in a relationship, and they stem from a tendency to make assumptions instead of practicing open communication about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. “Making assumptions about what the other person thinks or feels without checking with them can lead to misunderstandings,” says Rashmi
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Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner? 5 Possible Reasons

Once I had the self-awareness that I was not communicating in a relationship the right way, I realized it was an area I needed to work on. By reading about the root cause of communication problems in a relationship, going into therapy, and just being mindful of how I approach difficult conversations, I was able to break this pattern — well, to a large extent.

In this journey of finding the answer to the question, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”, I realized that this issue is, more often than not, internal and not symptomatic of underlying problems in a relationship. Of course, external factors like busy schedules and technoference play a role, but essentially, it boils down to your own inhibitions and self-doubt.

If you, too, often struggle with realizations like, “I can’t communicate with my husband/wife/partner”, or feel the need to learn how to communicate better with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner, a deep dive into the root cause is warranted. In consultation with Rashmi, I list the five most prominent reasons behind communication problems in a relationship:

Related Reading: The 8 Commandants Of Open Communication In A Relationship

1. Language barriers

If you and your partner have different native languages, even if you speak a common language, communication in a relationship can become a challenge. Particularly, when it comes to expressing yourself clearly about sensitive topics. That’s because we’re wired to think in our native language, and the metaphors as well as interpretation of certain gestures and even tones can vary from one language to the other.

So, even if you’re using words from a language that both you and your partner understand, the body language and the tone can be hard to relate to. As body language researcher Albert Mehrabian found, words account for only 7% of our communication, the rest depends on vocal and nonverbal cues. Rashmi says, “If partners speak different languages or have different proficiency levels, communication can be challenging.” The same holds if partners have different communication styles.

2. Fear of vulnerability

Being afraid to share your vulnerabilities can make it harder for you to share your true thoughts and feelings

If you often find yourself asking, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”, the answer may be hidden in a deep-rooted — often subconscious — fear of being judged or criticized. “People who struggle with communication in a relationship may be wary of vulnerability in a relationship and opening up to their partner.”

This apprehension is rooted in past experiences of having been mocked, ridiculed, or judged for revealing your true emotions, thoughts, or needs to others, and is essentially a self-protection mechanism. So, if your partner tends to dismiss, invalidate, or ridicule your thoughts or feelings, or someone close to you has done this in the past — a parent, a sibling, or a former partner, you may struggle to figure out how to communicate needs in a relationship.

3. Unrealistic expectation that your partner will just know what you want

Another common reason why so many of us fare poorly at open and honest communication in a relationship is the propagation of the idea that the person who loves us will just know what we want or need. Rashmi says, “When a person expects their partner to intuitively understand their needs without expressing them, they will end up not communicating in a relationship — at least not the right way.” Since no one is a mind reader, this unrealistic expectation not only worsens your ability to communicate but also leads to hurt and disappointment, which, in turn, gives way to resentment.

Related Reading: Expectations In Relationships: The Right Way To Manage Them

4. Digital distractions

Spending hours doom-scrolling on the phone instead of spending quality time with one’s partner. Whiling away date night with faces buried in phones. Using up free time to binge-watch OTT content. We’ve all seen couples do this. Heck, we’re couples who do this. Then we wonder why this delicate dance of relationships and communication is so hard to perfect.

Rashmi warns this can impact communication in a relationship. and says, “Excessive use of technology and social media can interfere with face-to-face communication.” When you prioritize the easy distraction offered by gadgets, the internet, or social media, over making the effort to connect with your partner, naturally, you begin to drift apart. This becomes a breeding ground for a lack of communication in a relationship. 

5. Attachment style

Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner, you ask? Your attachment style could be at play. You may see little to no communication in relationships where partners’ attachment styles are at odds with each other.

People with insecure attachment styles, such as avoidant or anxious attachment, may struggle to communicate well with their partners.

Rashmi Dharamshi, counseling psychologist

For instance, people with anxious attachment, need a lot of reassurance from their partners to feel secure and loved. On the other hand, people with avoidant attachment, are known to bottle up their feelings and are scared of vulnerability. Now, if these two people come together in a relationship, they may struggle to get through to one another.

The partner with an anxious attachment may struggle with thoughts like, “My partner/my wife/my husband doesn’t understand me”, which triggers their fear of abandonment. The avoidant partner may rue, “I can’t communicate with my husband/my wife/my partner so much”, stirring in them a desire to pull away and clam up.

9 Tips From A Therapist To Improve Communication In A Relationship

Now that you have the answer to the disconcerting question, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”, the next logical question is what can be done to remedy the situation. Often, poor or no communication in relationships causes distance to creep into a couple’s equation. That’s when a woman feels neglected in a relationship or a man feels disconnected from his partner. Oh, the ever-complicated dynamics of relationships and communication!

This can leave you wondering about how to communicate better with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, or struggling to ascertain how to talk about issues in a relationship. Rashmi offers some actionable tips on how to improve communication in a relationship:

1. Be mindful of your tone

To tide over the challenge of poor or no communication in relationships, you must learn to be mindful of the tone you use while talking to your partner. After all, we convey as much with our tone and expressions as we do with our words. This is particularly important if you want to know how to talk to your partner about relationship problems without it turning into a conflict.

Pay attention to your tone of voice, ensuring it remains respectful and considerate during conversations.

Rashmi Dharamshi, counseling psychologist

2. Set boundaries

Boundaries play a critical role in fine-tuning the symphony of relationships and communication. So, if you have been struggling with thoughts like, “I don’t know how to talk to my husband about my feelings”, or “I cannot bring myself to share my thoughts with my wife” or “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”, perhaps, it’s time to work on setting healthy boundaries that allow for honest communication with the fear of judgment, ridicule, or backlash.

Rashmi says, “Partners must respect each other’s boundaries and communicate openly about your needs and preferences. These may include not ridiculing each other, not attacking each other’s vulnerabilities during arguments, or not disrespecting each other in public.”  

Related Reading: 9 Examples Of Emotional Boundaries In Relationships

3. Process your feelings before you react

When tempers are flaring or you and your partner are in disagreement and they say something that triggers you, reacting in the moment can do more harm than good. While it can seem momentarily cathartic, it contributes to communication breakdown in the long run.

One of the most vital tips on how to talk to your partner about relationship problems without making a bad situation worse is to take some space and process your feelings before you react. This is the best way to prevent saying hurtful things to your partner that you can come to regret later.

how to talk about issues in a relationship
Sit with your feelings for some time so that you don’t let your emotions control your reactions

4. Limit distractions

Rashmi advises, “Minimize distractions such as phones or TV when having conversations with your partner.” Since digital interference is one of the prime reasons behind poor or no communication in relationships, removing this root cause from the equation can go a long way in fixing the issue.

5. Be empathetic

If you find yourself in a situation where communication leads to conflict, which, in turn, impacts your ability to talk to your partner, making you both feel distant and out of tune, the element of empathy may be lacking in your relationship. To address this, Rashmi advises, “Try to understand your partner’s perspective and show empathy toward their feelings.”

Related Reading: 6 Ways To Be More Empathetic In A Relationship According To An Expert

6. Time your conversations well

To communicate well, both you and your partner need to be in the right headspace. If you reach out to them to discuss issues or even share your feelings when they’re preoccupied with work or something else, you likely won’t get the kind of response you’d have hoped for. This can be certainly disappointing and may inhibit you from opening up and reaching out to your partner the next time.

The best way to counter this all-too-common issue impacting the quality of communication in relationships is to time your conversations well. If you have something important to tell or discuss with your partner, ask them if they have the time and mental capacity to actively engage in a conversation. If not, put it off until you’re both physically and emotionally available to deal with the issue at hand.

7. Validate feelings

When one partner dismisses or invalidates another’s feelings or emotions, it can make it harder to open up and communicate freely. If this cycle of emotional invalidation repeats over and over again, a distance begins to creep into the relationship. That’s when a woman feels neglected in a relationship or a man feels disconnected from his partner, and communication problems get exacerbated. The solution? Rashmi says, “Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate them, even if you don’t agree with their perspective. Never dismiss their concerns or emotions off-hand.”

On-Communication-Issues
On-Communication-Issues

8. Practice patience

The struggle of communicating well with your partner can be dealt with with patience and understanding. Rashmi says, “Two people in a relationship will find it easier to communicate with one another when they know they will be given space to say their piece and be heard. So, be patient and give your partner time to express themselves fully without rushing or interrupting.”

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Be Patient In A Relationship

9. Use “I” Statements

How to talk to my husband about my feelings, how to open up to my wife, or how to communicate better with my partner, you ask? A non-accusatory tone and steering clear of blame-shifting is the answer. To be able to freely talk to your partner about your feelings, you must take accountability for your own emotions. For this, Rashmi advises, “Frame your statements using “I” instead of “you” to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, “I feel upset when…” instead of “You always…”.”

Key Pointers

  • “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?” is a common concern because so many of us have grown up without learning how to have difficult conversations or embrace vulnerability
  • Poor listening, blame game, frequent arguments, passive-aggressiveness, and assumptions are some signs of poor communication in a relationship
  • The dissonances between relationships and communication arises due to fear of vulnerability, insecure attachment style, unrealistic expectations, as well as, external factors like language barriers and digital distractions
  • To fix poor communication in a relationship you be mindful of your tone, set healthy boundaries, process feelings before reacting, be empathetic, validate feelings, be patient

When the question, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?”, arises in your mind, take a moment to sit with yourself, introspect on the signs and causes — focusing primarily on your role — and answers will emerge. Based on what you discover, you can create a roadmap to improve the quality of your communication with your significant other, our expert-recommended tips serving as a guiding light along the way.

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